“They’re not very nice to women in general. Especially when you’re not doing exactly what they want you to. If you’re just a little bit different.”
Jessie felt her eyes fill with tears. “Yeah. You’re right, Mom. That’s true.”
“It’s an incredible thing when you can make it through life being yourself. Because we’re all different, but people don’t want us to be. You’re special, Jessie. You always have been. You’re strong. And talented. I would never be brave enough to run for office, because you can’t just decide that you don’t want to talk to people today. And some days I really don’t want to talk to people.”
“I know,” said Jessie.
“But I don’t know if you realize how special you are. You are.And I’m very sorry I didn’t know that people were being mean to you when you were a child. It’s just … I looked at you and I saw the most beautiful girl in the whole world. I thought everybody was being nice to you. Because you are so funny and so clever. And the most fun to be around.”
Jessie felt a tear slide down her cheek. It had honestly never occurred to her that Mom just didn’t realize that not everybody loved her the way she did. And she had never really thought about how much Mom loved her. She’d had the deep acceptance she had always wanted right here. She hadn’t seen it. Because it didn’t look the way it did in movies. Because it wasn’t conventional.
But God, it was real.
Jessie closed the distance between her and her mom. “Can I hug you?”
“Yes.”
Jessie hugged her, even though she knew it wasn’t Mom’s favorite. She let her go before she wanted to, for that reason too.
“You are the best mom,” she said. “Just the very best. You love me exactly the way a mom should love her daughter.”
She clung to the diary. She had a feeling she was going to find something in it that she really needed. Because her mom knew her well enough to give it to her.
“You’re the best daughter.” Lucinda reached out and smoothed Jessie’s hair, the simple contact healing in ways Jessie would never be able to articulate to someone who didn’t understand her mom.
She didn’t need them to understand.
She did.
Jessie decided to hold that realization close, even as she walked out of the trailer, then drove herself back to her home.
She opened up Belle’s diary and started reading.
About a woman who had always wanted to be a lady but had simply never had the chance. It was a sad story. Belle had been doomed to fail from the start.
But it wasn’t that she was never a lady; it was that the world wouldn’tlether be. And then there was a man who saw her as a lady,no matter her circumstances. A man who saw her exactly as she was and loved her.
Belle rejected him, because she was scared. Jessie couldn’t blame her. It was terrifying when you had spent your whole life being told you weren’t good enough.
It was just the most terrifying thing.
Jessie read all the way to the end. Then she pressed her face into her pillow and cried.
He felt like shit.
He felt like shit, and it was the day of the election. He took his ballot and filled it out, and dropped it in the box the very first thing. When his pen hovered over Jessie Jane’s name, he felt a deep longing reverberate in his chest. He filled the bubble in without hesitation.
Now the vote was cast, and it really was over. Unless …
What was he doing? What the fuck was wrong with him?
He didn’t want it to be over. He just didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t know how else to be.
He didn’t know how to … want something better.
For a brief moment, he had.
His grandfather had loved him, invested in him, and he had given him that land. God damn, Flynn had felt honor bound to do something with it. Something great. Something interesting.
