“What does that mean?”
“It means I waited for her to tell me about the history of the scandal within her family’s company. They’d been doing things wrong since their inception. She knew it, and all I needed was for her to be real with me. She wasn’t. Instead, she tried to influence me to double down with her family, to risk the syndicate, to risk our family. When I wouldn’t, she tried every type of manipulation. Looking back, I’m not even sure her desire for having Fran was genuine.” I tried not to wince as I said it out loud, but the betrayal still hit like a steel pipe to the gut. I sat on the edge of the bed, smoothing the fine sheets to work out the wrinkles, to work out the flaws and the pain.
“Oh, God.” Mia sounded sickened by what I was telling her. “Jameson, I’m sorry.”
“Looking back, I see now how when Fran was born”—I let out a breath, heavy and jagged—“she barely would feed or hold her. She withheld love for my daughter when I withheld my influence for the sake of her family’s company. And I hated her calculation and manipulation even as Franny loved her mother, because a daughter needs a mom. She played the game to win … so I did too.”
“How?” Mia asked, her voice soft now as she sat down on the bed.
I looked at her then, at the way she tucked her knees under her, at how she folded her hands into her lap as if she’d be patient, waiting for me to make her understand.
“I didn’t tell her plans for future partnerships or legislation. I let her go. So it seems I calculate and manipulate as much as her.”
“But, Jameson, that’s not true—”
“It is.” I stood, my voice sharp as I paced a few steps before turning back to her. “Do you know what I wanted to do the second I found out she hadn’t picked Franny up from preschool that day? I wanted to order to have her killed.”
“But you didn’t.” She rose from the bed, eyes trained on me. “That’s not on you.”
My chest was tight as I admitted, “Had that woman come back, I may have tried to kill her.”
I waited for her to recoil and flinch away. I wanted her to see the truth, wanted her to know there was a monster in me she’d have to accept if she stuck around. “I didn’t care that she left me, but leaving Franny … My daughter won’t ever know she left of her own will, and it’s a betrayal I’ll never forgive Lex for.”
“What happened to her?”
I told her the line I’d been given about my wife for years, not sure I could overwhelm her with the rest. “She got the life she wanted. Ran with Paolo’s cartels on the East Coast. He’d always wanted her, and she gave herself to him easily in hopes he could save her family’s company. He didn’t, though, and some of his partners lost a lot of money. Supposedly it was a car accident that killed her.”
“Or an angry partner?” She’d pieced it together. Then she waved away her summary. “Either way, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not. I won’t ever tell Franny her mom abandoned her. She’ll only know she disappeared, and that will be on me in her eyes probably forever.”
Mia’s hand found my arm like she wanted to ground me, soothe me. “You? Why you?”
“Because I didn’t keep our family together.”
“Youarehere. You are herfather. And a fantastic one at that. You smile when Fran ruins your freaking wingtips, for Christ’s sake.”
That earned the barest of a smile from me, but it was a sad one. “You had to tell me to be present.”
“Just because you needed a reminder as a parent doesn’t make you a bad one, Jameson. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I let the silence grow between us as I wrapped a hand around the back of Mia’s neck and pulled her to me so I could press my forehead to hers. “I don’t deserve you or Franny.”
“You don’t get to decide that,” she whispered. “Not anymore.”
“I didn’t give her mother what she wanted.”
She reeled back. “Oh please. What’s a mother?” She cleared her throat and tried to cover up her disgust. “Not someone who leaves their daughter for the prestige of a company, Jameson. Franny didn’t deserve that. I get that she was your wife and you were in love with her once—”
“I loved her for being the mother to my child. But Lex and I … well, it’s obvious we weren’t healthy.”
She put her hands on her hips. “Well, you’ve moved on to healthier things for you and Franny then … minus some small incidents from the other night.” This woman was standing in the middle of my estate in panties and messy hair, discussing my darkest secrets without running. Without leaving. She was even trying to make light of it to make me feel better.
And the air in the room shifted to something brighter; my heart shifted along with it.
“What was so unhealthy?” I smirked, and she looked ready to stomp her foot.
She wrinkled her nose. “I was at that party or meeting or whatever you want to call it, Jameson. What you’re all doing is a gray area at best. And you’re all hiding in the dark of the night. You hide it like you’re ashamed.”
