“Especially Fortiss. He wasn’t looking forward to his first act as lord protector to be an open rebellion against his leadership because he flaunted ancient law. But there was no law.”
He stares at me like he’s trying to unearth the truth straight from my bones, not just my words. And for a moment, I feel it again—that unbearable weight of fate between us. Of paths not chosen, of promises neither of us made but somehow are still expected to keep.
“I don’t believe it.” Tennet pushes himself to his feet and stalks across the balcony. The morning sun glints off the metal fastenings of his belt and his hilt as he turns back to me and gestures out over the courtyard, already abuzz with activity as the locals set up for market day. “It’s too important and too well ingrained in our society for it not to exist—somewhere. Which means those lawsarewritten down somewhere. Even if they’ve been altered beyond recognition, something must have existed originally. And don’t think I care about you and your claim to the Divh. I’ve heard enough stories in the last day since I found you to believe your connection to your Divh is real and powerful. If I didn’t want to believe it, I would have been convinced by your work with those sandworm weevishes.”
My brows drift up as he paces. “So, you did see me fight?”
“I saw everything from the moment their mother arrived and blacked out the sun, scaring my men half to death,” Tennet says grimly. “You can fight, Talia. And you clearly can connect to the Divhs.”
“I sense there’s a ‘but’ coming here,” I put in, and he huffs out a hard laugh.
“There is. There’s more to being a warrior than footwork and connecting. There’s a society, a code of conduct—and there’s men. Hundreds of them, maybe thousands if you count every foot soldier out there. It only takes one…maybe five in your case,but still, only five to attack you unawares. You’re not safe on this course without protection, and you know it.”
Equal parts rage and shame flow over me at his words, rage because he isn’t completely wrong…and shame because I know he’s not completely wrong. “I’m not going to marry you, Tennet, for my ownprotection,” I inform him. “That contract no longer applies.”
“The contract isn’t the point,” he snaps back. “You’re putting yourself in unnecessary danger, Talia. You want to fight for the Protectorate—for and with your Divh? You want to stand up and be a role model to other women? You can do all that and more. What you can’t do is assume you can stand toe-to-toe with a group of men who’ve never been taught that a woman can be valued for anything more than coupling and motherhood—and maybe, if you’re lucky—a helpmate in times of need. That’s it. Until all these generations of beliefs are undone, they’ll never let you stand as their equal, Talia. They may respect you, but they won’t accept you.”
“I don’t need their acceptance—or yours,” I inform him stiffly. I squint at the courtyard, the First House gates, the sun. Anything to keep from looking at him. “I just need them to stay out of my way.”
“And I would clear that path for you.” Tennet’s words are unusually quiet, but they strike me with the force of a blow. I look back to see him regarding me with unnerving intensity.
“You don’t even know me,” I point out, but he shakes his head.
“I think I do. I think you’re as hotheaded as your father and just as shortsighted. You want to make a difference, Talia? Then stop thinking so much about yourself. Think about those who’ll come after you. What will be waiting for them if the one woman who was able to stand head and shoulders above the rest, who was able to bend a Divh to her will, win the Tournament of Goldand earn the right to wear the winged crown—what happens if she’s killed by the first stupid, jealous idiot who sneaks up on her in the middle of the night? What will they have left to fight for if the first woman who could raise the standard for them squandered her chance?”
Twin snakes of anger and shame coil around my windpipe, threatening to cut off air. I haul myself out of my chair, muscles screaming with the effort, which only adds to my irritation. “Why is it everyone is so eager to tell me what I should be doing for the future, when none of you were willing to stand up for anyone but yourselves?”
“We’re not the one challenging the system, Talia.”
I dismiss that with a furious, cutting wave of my hand. “Well, maybe you should be. Maybe if more of you challenged the system, the rest of us wouldn’t have to work so hard to be accepted just forexisting.”
Furious, I turn on my heel and stalk off, ignoring Tennet’s sharp curse. First Nazar and Caleb want to tell me how to model right action for every woman in the Protectorate—now so does this stranger, whose only claim on me is a piece of paper drawn up by two men without a thought for my needs or concerns. I may as well be cattle.
A low, hooting yodel of concern echoes across the back of my mind, and I grimace, struggling to put my thoughts back into order, so as not to disturb my beautiful Divh. Gent, at least, has never strived to put me in my place. If anything, he’s done nothing but encourage me to jump. More than that, I know he’ll always be there to catch me if I fall.
It’s good to know somebody will.
I stamp my way into the First House and down the long, cool corridors, not much caring where I go as long as it’s somewhere no one else is. I slow as I realize I’m in the same hallway I was yesterday when Fortiss collared me…
Fortiss.
Why exactly was he on this level yesterday, so soon after he sent Tennet and my father to their rooms? He did a good job of distracting me then…that isn’t going to work now.
I slow my steps and exhale a long breath, trying to retrace my path from yesterday. It was the third—no, the fourth door from the center line, I’m almost certain, not quite to the end…
I move along the corridor now with catlike steps, drifting my fingers along the wall until I reach a door that makes my skin prickle. Slowly, I drop my hand to the handle, pushing it down as quietly as possible.
The door swings open silently.
“I was wondering if you’d come looking for me. Lock the door, would you?”
Fortiss sits at the table at the far end of the room, the surface covered over with books and stacks of parchment pages, with open boxes all around him.
“Wait. Were all those books here yesterday?” I close the door behind me and turn the key in the lock. It clicks with a force that makes my hand jerk a little, and I yank my fingers away, turning back to Fortiss.
“It was, but I hadn’t had the chance to crack into it.” He smiles a little sheepishly. “I was too interested in intercepting you once I heard you in the hallway.”
“But…” I glanced around the room, obviously confused, and he smiles and gestures to a far bookcase.
