“I’m a liar. And once a liar—always one,” I blurt out the childish maxim, and no one is more surprised than me at these words tumbling out of my mouth. “You need to know that. I thought you may have killed my brother, and I couldn’t rest until I found who did. So, I lied to you. And I’ll do it again, Fortiss.” I swallow. “I’ll lie if I feel I must. “
His gaze captures mine, and where Tennet’s eyes had been hazed and wild, his are piercing and sure as they hold me fast. “You’re not a liar, Talia. You were fighting a battle as one warrior against a legion of enemies. You are mighty and fierce.”
He leans closer, his lips brushing against mine in a soft sweep with each new word. “Beautiful,” he murmurs. “Strong.”
Warmth spreads through me as he settles back again, and now his eyes take on a heat, an intensity that sends my heart into a nervous jitter. “You’ve become the person I trust more than anyone in my house who hasn’t pledged his sword to me. You have stood by me, you brought me my Divh, and you helped mefight Rihad when I was still too blind to see the destruction he had set into motion. I owe you everything, Talia.”
His lips twist into a self-deprecating grimace. “But all I want to do is this.”
He leans toward me slowly—deliberately—but my heart is already galloping. I know what this is. I know what I want. But I also know what this costs.
Fortiss seems not to care. He lifts his hands to either side of my face and pulls me to him. I go willingly, bending my body to his, surrounding myself with his warmth, his steadiness, his strength. In his embrace I feel stronger, truer, and the fire that ignites deep in my belly is all the fiercer for having flared once, so briefly, only to be relegated to embers after that period now it threatens to roar between us—consuming me, consuming him—and I revel in the feeling. This is what I want, I think. What I need. This connection, this truth. This beating heart pounding so loudly against me that it is the only thing I can hear, even above my own rushing blood and rabbiting pulse.
Fortiss sighs, leaning into me. “Blighted Light and beloved darkness…”
The muttered words rip through my delirium, and I pull back with a sudden gasp, my eyes flaring wide. I’ve heard that line, of course. Once from a man half-dead and fevered, now from one who holds me like I’m everything. Why are they both saying this? Why now?
“What did you say?” I demand. “What was that?”
“What?” Fortiss blinks, his eyes unfocused. Then his gaze suddenly narrows on mine. “What did I say? I didn’t mean to speak.”
“But you did.” With a shaking hand, I snag the parchment page and push it toward him. He unfolds it now and smooths it out, and I stab the page with my finger. “That’s the secondtime tonight I’ve heard those words, from two different people. Maybe the problem wasn’t Tennet, Fortiss. Maybe it’s me.”
“No, Talia…” Fortiss shifts back to me, lifting his hands, and when I would pivot away much like I did with Tennet, he grabs me and pulls me to him again. He kisses me soundly, deeply. He kisses me like a drowning man clinging to breath, like he’s afraid I’ll vanish in his arms. That fear isn't just mine, I realize—it's his, too.
But when he pulls his head away, his eyes are swirling again, his breathing rushed. He looks like Tennet did, I realize with a jolt—his eyes, his expression.
“You willneverbe the problem, Talia,” he murmurs. “Only the solution.”
But as he draws me into a firm embrace, and I hear the frantic pounding of his heart once more, I’m not so sure he’s right.
Chapter 18
“You’re out early.”
The brusque voice startles me, and I look up to see Tennet leaning over the banister of the balcony as I trudge across the courtyard. The weevishes had demanded more training practice this morning, but at least I’d managed to usher them all into adolescence without getting covered in muck. Still, my back and shoulders are aching from wielding the heavy sword, and my lungs feel like they’re filled with sand.
“It’s easier to fight when no one’s around.” I squint up at him. There’s something ridiculously galling—and faintly thrilling—about the way he lounges up there like he owns the view and everything beneath it. Including me. Which he absolutely does not. Obviously. “What’s your excuse? You certainly don’t need to train in hiding.”
“That I don’t. Join me. I’m all but recovered and officially bored.”
He moves back from the banister, and I look from him to the stairs. Then his voice floats over the edge of the railing. “Oh, so now you’re going to show fear?”
I roll my eyes, but I’m not so tired that I’m willing to cede this oaf even a false sense of superiority. I trudge up the stairs and down the side flank to the balcony, glad I don’t have to try and shimmy up it a second time. I don’t think I’d be able to accomplish it today.
By the time I cross the balcony to him, Tennet is sprawled in one of the carved chairs, his legs stretched out as if he’s about to collapse into a nap. But there’s nothing about him that’s relaxed. He watches me through slitted eyes, his smile almost predatory. It’s not the smile of a man in love, or even a man hoping to be liked. It’s a challenge—feral and assessing. But my breath still catches in my throat for the barest second, and I smooth my expression so he won’t see even that slight weakness.
He better not see it.
“You have to know your father offered you up to me again this morning.”
I grunt as I drop into a chair across from him. “He doesn’t have that right anymore. All that went away when I banded to Gent.”
“Which he still considers illegal. And Rihad would’ve backed him up.”
“Against tradition and illegal are two different things, especially when the laws that we’re talking about were never codified. No—not once.” I lift my hand when he would argue. “You think the councilors didn’t look after it the moment they figured out what I truly was? First, they were angry because it shouldn’t have been possible for a woman to band to a Divh, then they were angry because these so-called laws governing women’s lack of rights in this matter don’t exist. And believe me, I expected them to exist. Everyone did.”
He leans forward and drops one elbow on a knee. “Even Fortiss?” he asks, the edge back in his voice.
