She grinned. “When you were a boy, Ryder Bask, dutifully muttering your prayers, did you ever imagine that you would someday meet a god and question her sanity out loud?”
“You assume that there was anything dutiful about the prayers I muttered.”
I looked hard at my mother. “You mean you could transport us—all of us—like you did Gareth and me yesterday?”
“And as you took Ryder, Alastrina, and me out of Mhorghast?” Farrin added.
Mother nodded serenely. “It’s really quite easy. I’ve never tried carrying anyone, not even myself, over such great a distance, but I know I can manage it. Goddess of the senses, goddess of the body.” She picked up her pipe, discarded on the table beside her, and tapped it against her teeth. “I can do it and return in only a few moments, I think.”
“And what if that is enough to alert Kilraith to your presence?” Father said, irritation plain in his voice. “What if he comes for you and then we lose the only god we’ve got?”
“Gideon, try not to be so romantic in front of the children,” Mothersaid, glancing up at him with a smile. “They don’t want to hear their parents flirt.”
Hearing that coy note in her voice made me flinch, a physical reaction that sparked deep in my gut and took me completely by surprise. I covered it by moving quickly to the kitchen, where I grabbed a bright red apple from a bowl on the counter and took a loud, crunchy bite. It was a perfectly fine apple, but its taste was sour on my tongue. I could barely bring myself to chew it.
“And how would you get us back?” Ryder said. “There’s no point in whisking us to Vauzanne to investigate the Lemaires if we don’t have an equally fast exit ready.”
“A second crossingis certainly too dangerous,” Father said tightly.
“He’s right,” added Talan. “If Kilraith detects her on our first passage, he’ll watch obsessively for her second.”
“Whatever we find...god, anchor...I’ll take it and run,” I said, forcing myself to swallow the chunk of apple. “I can run fast. Not as fast as whatever it is you do,” I said, cutting a quick look at my mother, “but faster than anything else. I’ll get to the coast, find a boat, and go straight to Fairhaven. The more quickly we can get whatever the Lemaires have to the safety of the Citadel, the better. The rest of you can catch up with me later.”
I didn’t dare look at Gareth, but I could feel him watching me.
“And what if something intercepts you during this mad dash to the coast?” Father said at once. “You might not be able to defend your quarry and yourself at the same time.”
I laughed a little without really meaning to. “How would you know what I’m capable of? It’s been a long time since we had our lessons, Father.”
I couldn’t bear to be in the same room with them after that—my mother and my father, standing so close to each other, as if they were any other husband and wife talking with their daughters over breakfast.As if all the years I’d been away from home had never happened. As if they had decided all that grief and loss could be swept away.
My stomach churned. The apple was a mistake. Nevertheless, I took another bite from it and strode out of the house.
Chapter 27
Mother told us that Gareth needed at least another day to fully regain his strength. Given how thoroughly he’d loved me the previous night, I thought his strength was perfectly sufficient, but I didn’t protest.
Instead, I kept to myself: a long, brisk run through the woods, training with a heavy branch that made a serviceable practice staff, and then a quick dive into a nearby pond to cool down.
I lay naked on a flat rock to dry in the sun, trying in vain to silence my roiling thoughts, until I lost hope that Gareth would wander this far into the woods, stumble upon me, and proceed to distract me with those deft hands of his.
I dressed and walked back to the house, and by the time I arrived, my stomach was growling and I had a headache from sheer irritation. The beauty of Wardwell grated on my every nerve. Rationally I knew that Mother staying hidden up here and strengthening her powers in secret was the safest thing for all of us. Parading around Gallinor to reinforce Order patrols or search for theytheliadanchors alongside Gemma and Talan would be like presenting a slab of fresh meat to a hungry wolf and expecting it not to bite.
Kilraith would certainly bite.
I couldn’t bring myself to go into the house. The sunlight felt too nice on my skin, even as enchanted and false as it was. I picked an armful of fruit and vegetables from the gardens behind the cottage, then found a soft patch of grass under an ancient-looking oak tree and sat and ate.Snacking and sulking, I thought to myself. Not my finest moment. Especially when there were so many more pressing things to ruminate on than all the old sadnesses swimming around in my mind.
From the tree’s shadows I could see everyone coming and going from the cottage: Father and Gemma walking arm in arm, deep in quiet conversation; Mother humming to herself around the stem of her pipe while Talan dutifully handed her one wet garment after another to hang on the clothesline; and, to my delight, Ryder and Gareth having a sparring session on the lawn.
I heard Farrin’s footsteps behind me long before she spoke.
“Ryder wanted to give Gareth a chance to test his muscles,” she said, sitting down beside me.
I nodded. “Ryder is a smart man. We’ll all need to be able to fight.” I popped three blueberries into my mouth and munched angrily. “I should have been the one to think of that.”
“You needed some time to yourself,” Farrin said. “I certainly understand that. I’ve just been on a long walk myself.”
We sat in silence for a time, and then Farrin cleared her throat delicately. “So. You and Gareth.”
