Trio smiled at her, patting her back before she turned and sat in the seat next to him. “He ran away.” He shrugged. “He was able to escape. I don’t know where he is. And while I would like to believe that he would, one day, come back to this place and our lives would start over anew, it is a foolish belief—a foolishhopefor me to have. He’s not coming back, not after how I treated him.”
By the time the silence settled in, she felt that it was pointless to ask anymore questions. She didn’t want to push it, didn’t want to pry information out of him unless he offered it. They sat there quietly drinking until their bodies were too tired to keep going. Trio took to the settee in Aziel’s sleeping chambers and Nymiria barely made it to the bed, having ungracefully sprawled herself across the foot of it with a low, sluggish groan.
“What was his name, Trio?” She asked. “The man you loved.”
There was another beat of silence, leaving Nymiria to believe that he’d already fallen asleep. But then he shuffled onto his sideto face her and smiled. “Jamiegh.” He whispered. “His name was Jameigh.”
“So,” she sighed. “You have only ever been with two men in your whole life?”
“Sad, isn’t it?” Trio let out a humorless laugh. “Even more sad that I will forever have to live with the mortification that I once believed that I was in love with your mate.”
A drunken laugh bubbled from her lips. Nymiria buried her face in the duvet, shaking her head. “He’s easy to fall in love with once you get past that hard shell of his.” She grumbled. “Almost too easy. It’s terrifying.”
“He tends to have a terrifying effect on people.” Trio agreed. “But I do believe that we are all difficult to love unless the person that loves us sees us for who we are. If youtrulylove someone, it’s never really that hard at all.”
The words, though intended to be encouraging, stung. Nymiria allowed her tears to fall, thankful that they were shielded by the cloud of rumpled blankets and sheets that still smelled so strongly of them both. She drew in a ragged breath and closed her eyes. “I want to love him.” She whispered.
Trio, his voice rough with sleep, looked at her as she curled into a ball on the bed. “Then love him, Nymiria.”
Chapter 20
Oran wasn’t quite sure what he did to deserve the utterlyevillook Aziel was giving him, but he chose to ignore it.
His brother had always been a rather angry individual, not that Oran could fault him for it, but sometimes his hatefulness could be directed at the wrong person. Oran tended to find himself in the crosshairs, and while he should have been used to it by now, one could never really get used to being visually picked apart by the God of Death. Even if the God of Deathwashis big brother.
“I don’t understand why you’re looking at me with such ire,” Oran snapped. “I believe I just delivered some of the best news you’ve probably heard inmonths.”
Aziel looked down at the letter Oran’s betrothed, Fiernan, had sent him. There were pages and pages of her berating him for not having told her he changed his mind, two pages of a love confession, and the final line that stated:
“If an alliance is needed to stop your father’s reign, Shidosha will lend our troops to assist in any way needed. Just come back to me.”
The young god huffed and slowly pushed the letter back across the desk to his brother. “It’s wonderful news. Thank you.”
Oran scoffed. “Then why are you so angry?”
“You could have justtoldme the news. But instead, you made me sit here and go through every fine detail of your love life to get toonesentence.” Aziel shoved himself to his feet and strode across the room, rubbing at the pulsing vein on his forehead.
His brother carefully folded the letter and tucked it into the breast pocket of his shirt, frowning. “You can’t, at least, sound a little happy for me?”
Aziel whirled around, plastering a very fake and very unnerving smile across his face. “Look—I’mhappyfor you!”
“You’re being a prick.” Oran grumbled, eyes narrowing. “Trouble in paradise?”
“I wouldn’t necessarily say that what Nymiria and I have could ever be described asparadise, but sure.” He began sifting through the letters on his desk, all of them failed correspondences with foreign leaders he’d contacted for Thorn. While they gained sympathy from neighboring continents, it was hard to find any that were willing to go against an army that was close to settling an alliance with Caddagh.
Caddagh’s reign of terror had spread to nearly every continent in the world. You wouldn’t find many that were willing to put up a fight, not with how strong they were. Eadyn’s only hope at winning this war was completely obliterating Yaar before they were able to close a deal. He could possibly use Tre’ann, but the idea of subjecting the beast to be nothing more than a weapon was something that made Aziel’s stomach churn.
He’d received news, not too long ago, that Tre’ann was now the last drake on the continent of Gaellagh. What was alreadyan endangered species was now completely eradicated, his own father having blown them all up during one of his attempts at crossing into the South Mists. He’d hidden the creature away from the world, hoping that something would arise and he could find sanctuary for the creature on another continent where drakes were still thriving. Thus far, he had found none.
There were many things for him to focus on and many things he needed to accomplish. On all accounts, Aziel was a fairly busy individual. As would be suspected if one just so happened to be a god. He would have loved to dip his hands in the bloodshed happening, but his hands were tied. He was bound by Fate to only take the lives of the people that were listed on his ledger—The Toll, as Teigh once called it. If he had any say in the direction of this war, he would have ended it the day it was declared.
But with all he had to keep his mind occupied, all of his thoughts circled back to the white-haired woman he found curled up in his bed with his best friend. Nestled in between their drunken bodies was an empty bottle of absinthe. Which was really not very surprising to see with Trio being involved, but Aziel worried what had wounded their hearts so deeply that they felt the need to nestle against one another for the night.
Perhaps he only smiled about it for a moment, but that was before he realized that he would, once again, have to sleep on his settee.
Aziel never had a good example of what love was supposed to look like. The most he’d seen was how Thorn treated Raina. They were constantly dancing around one another, watching one another,caringfor one another. Aziel knew that Thorn would always keep any woman that came into his life at a distance, but he could see the way the man looked at her, how he tried to show his feelings the best way he knew how. Which was, unfortunately, at a distance.
After years of building those walls around his heart, Aziel was not used to feeling so vulnerable. Even in those moments when the rot inside of him stole every ounce of emotion away from him, Nymiria was still there—every laugh, every smile, every touch and embrace. It was all still there.
