Who cares about easy? It’s the difficult things in life that are worth it the most. I wanther,no matter how messed up she is. I’m messed up, too. In different ways, but maybe even more so than she is. We can be messed up together, like the Bonnie and Clyde of Brookside U.
I run my thumb along her cheekbone, taking in every emotion that plays across those eyes. “You’re right. That would be easier.”
And yet I kiss her again, gentle and promising.
I’m not going anywhere.
Chapter 16
Blake
The library isn’tmy typical hangout, but when my girl is there, I’ll happily join her.
I find Alexis in the back of the crumbling old building, in a dark corner hidden by bookshelves on all sides. She doesn’t look up when I approach her, but I can just make out the redness in her eyes from crying, her hair wild and falling in bunches from a weak bun.
The sight of her like this sends a twinge of pain through my heart.
“Good morning, Sunshine,” I say, placing a warm to-go cup of cherry tea and a snack on the desk. “A girl came up to me at the café just to tell me she voted for us. Isn’t that wild? I didn’t expect people to take this contest seriously, but there’s a certain buzz going around for it.”
Alexis barely glances at me before reaching into her bag and pulling out a baby-blue penguin, the delicate crochet stitches and almost invisible flaws proving she made it herself.
Made it forme.
“A penguin?”
“From your story. You like them, don’t you?” she asks, and for the first time she looks at me, allowing me to see the full extent of her chaos.
Tears have created a rim of mascara around her eyes, transforming Alexis into the cutest panda I’ve ever seen. Her eyelids are heavy with sleep, and the spark in her eye has dimmed.Shit.
I’ve seen her like this enough times to know what’s going on. This is usually when Levi drags her kicking and screaming into our living room and forces her to play video games with us until she calms down enough to smile again. There’s a bit of tension in the house I don’t want her to be part of, so I have to find something to the same effect.
“You gave me a gift, I gave you one. Now we’re even.”
I take the penguin from her hand, our fingers brushing for only a moment before she pulls away. The wool is warm and soft against my skin, though it is the thought of Alexis spending her precious time and energy on making it that comforts me the most. This wasn’t a quick buy at the Dollar Store to silence her need to be even or a random gesture of thanks. She listened to my silly story about a blood-thirsty penguin and remembered I must like them, then put care in making and accessorizing it, going as far as to give it tiny skates and a copy of my jersey.
“This is just incredible. Thank you. Truly.” I lean my butt against the table and reach out to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “Are you okay, though? What’s going on? Come on, tell me.”
She shakes her head, fresh tears brimming in her silver-blue eyes. “I’m fine, Blake. You can go. I just need to get my shit together and?—”
“Stop.” I know she hates it when people cut her off, but this time, I don’t feel bad. Better she’s angry at me than herself. “You are doingamazing. I’ve seen you read that course book cover tocover three times now—you know everything that could possibly be on that exam, I promise.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t. I need to keep going until I can recite it so I can get an A and keep my grades up and show everyone that I'm not a total fuckin’ screw up.”
“You have to stop putting that kind of pressure on yourself. It’s not the end of the world to get a lower grade every once in a while. I know things are stressful and uncertain right now, and that throwing yourself into studying feels safe and comforting to you. But it’s getting unhealthy, and I can’t let you go on like this.” I take her collection of books and paper and stuff it into her backpack before hoisting it over my shoulder. “Come. You need a day off.”
Her eyes meet mine, damp with tears, and for a moment she just stares. “Where are we going?”
I take her hand, her fingers lacing perfectly into mine like it was made for me to hold. “An adventure.”
“You knowyou have to tell me where we’re going at some point, right? Otherwise, it’s just kidnapping,” Alexis says, and I breathe a sigh of relief at the fact that her voice no longer sounds so frail.
We’ve been in my car for forty-five minutes, her playlist on my speakers, my hand on her thigh. She hasn’t said much, nor did I expect otherwise. She’s fixed her hair and makeup, though I can see in her eyes that the storm inside her mind rages on. I’m just glad she agreed to come.
“You’re past twenty. This is an abduction.” The GPS lady tells me to go left at the next exit, as if I don’t know the route to myown house. “And if you must know, Miss Moore, we are headed towards the monstrosity that is my childhood home.”
She feigns a dramatic gasp. “Blake Taylor, are you taking me home for the holidays? Should I expect a ring?”
A smirk pulls at my lips. “Like I’d ever propose to you in such a dull and meaningless setting.”
