She wasn’t sure how long she’d spent pacing her small sitting room, hunching over as if her arousal were causing her physical pain, which she supposed, at that point, it was. It wasn’t until she heard the crunch of tires on the gravel in the parking lotbeyond her small security block window that her attention was pulled by anything else. The vehicle’s engine cut off, she heard the slam of the car door, and then she was nearly tripping over her own feet to pull back the chain and throw open her apartment’s front door.
She could smell him already. She could smell his arousal, could smell his dripping cock, could smell his knot already beginning to swell at the base of his shaft. Her wolf could smell him and she reared back, eager to lay down and take his knot like a good little bitch. She was halfway up the hallway to the club’s main room when she realized she’d never put her tank back on, her small breasts bouncing with every step she took. It didn’t matter who walked in the door, Jude realized with slight horror. If it was a wolf who could knot her, she would open her legs gladly, eager to be fucked.
She’d just stepped into the club’s main room, the recent scene of her humiliation, when the door swung open. It was Vin, thank the stars, his hand already on the front of his belt, pulling it open. Shehatedhim. Hated the smug look on his face, hated the way he leered down at her, hated the way he pulled his already hard cock out expectantly. She hated herself for the way she cried out in relief, hated herself for the way she stumbled across the room to fall into his arms, her hand closing around his thick shaft without hesitation.
“Is this what you need, baby?” he rumbled against the side of her neck, pushing her over the back of the leather sofa in the middle of the room until her ass was high, presented to him like a prize. “You need me to fill this pussy up? I’m gonna fuck you nice and deep, and then you’re going to take my knot like a good girl, aren’t you?”
She nearly sobbed in relief when his cock sunk into her, pushing in until he was fully hilted, stretching her wide. She hated herself for the way she moaned in pleasure, hated howgoodit felt, the way his thick shaft seemed to rub every part of her inner walls, making her head spin in satisfaction. She was already so far gone from the aborted attempt with Lux that she felt her knees begin to tremble after only a few deep thrusts. He groaned when she came around him, slowing movement of his hips to enjoy the clenching of her muscles before pushing her face down into the leather of the sofa, hammering into her with renewed vigor.
She was reminded of that very first night, atop the restaurant, when he’d fucked her over the side of the building. She’d never been one for exhibitionism, but she’d found that she liked the idea of the cars in the street beyond being able to see them. It occurred to her that Lux might still be in the room — still there, watching her being fucked, watching as she orgasmed, watching the way her head dropped back and her mouth opened in a silent scream when Vin’s knot pushed into place within her, tying their bodies as he filled her with rope after rope of his hot release. She liked being watched. She liked the slight edge of vindication she felt, even if she might hate herself in the morning.
She pushed Vin back against the cushions of the sofa, gasping at the tug of his knot as her thighs stretched around him.He wanted to watch? Fine. Then let him see.
“Give me more,” she whined, gyrating her hips against his, her breath catching at the fullness. He would be hard again by the time his knot softened, especially if she squeezed him, as she did then. Vin grunted, raising a hand to rub over the swollen bud of her clit, and Jude keened.Yes.This was what she needed, what she wanted Lux to see. Let him watch as she was stuffed full of another man’s cock, as she was fingered to completion, her clit seeming to buzz against Vin’s fingers. “Make it stop hurting.”
Her eyes were glassy and unfocused, blurred with pleasure and pain, and she couldn’t be sure that she saw the pinprick stars of his eyes from behind the bar as her body seized,tightening around Vin’s thick shaft. It could have been the gleam off the glass shelves, a reflection from the overhead perimeter lights, her eyes playing tricks on her . . . but when their positions changed again and upper body hung off the back of the sofa, the spots of white were gone.
Vin wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon, Jude knew. He would rut her without fatigue until the edge that writhed under their skin had been slaked, their wolves satisfied for the moment.
When she was alone at last, after what seemed like hours, Jude stood beneath the mediocre pressure of her shower again, squeezing her eyes shut around tears.
She needed to get on the bus and go to the pharmacy near the library, needed to secure some emergency contraception, for there was no way she was willing to give up nearly a year of her life carrying that smug bastard’s kid.
She was right, although her timing was a bit off. She hated herselfnow, waiting until morning — not required.
She didn’t pause once she pulled the apartment door shut behind her, using the outer door for change, instead of crossing through the club; didn’t look back as she crunched across the gravel lot until she reached the sidewalk.
It wasn’t a great neighborhood and she had never left this late in the day before, the sky already a wash of indigo. It would be late by the time she arrived home that night, but Jude supposed that was probably for the best. He wouldn’t be around in the darkness, after all. Shadows needed light, and she had no light to give just then.
Chapter 6
The man was following her.
It was a brilliantly sunny afternoon, and she decided to see what the walk was like from the library back to the club. When she noticed the man walking behind her, Jude paid attention, but thought nothing of it at first. She slowed at one point, stepping aside as she readjusted her book sack on her shoulder, giving him plenty of room to pass her necessary, when she noticed he slowed as well. When she quickened her step, he matched pace. A swift glance over her shoulder showed the man still there, staring at her intently, and behind him in the road, the approaching bus. Jude raised her hand without thinking twice, flagging the bus down.
“I’m so sorry,” she exclaimed laughingly to the familiar driver. “I got a bit hung up at the checkout desk and I didn’t want to miss my stop!”
When the man got on the bus behind her, her breath caught in her throat.
Wake up,she hissed to her inner wolf.Wake up, wake up, wake up!
It was no use. Her wolf remained unaroused, as she had been her entire life. She made a point of taking a seat beside a young woman wearing a school uniform, too engrossed in her cell phone conversation to pay her any mind. When the young woman rose from her seat, stepping over Jude once her stop was reached, she found herself unable to move. A viselike arm tightened around her waist, keeping her pressed to her seat.
“Stay right where you are, princess.” His voice was a hiss at her ear, caressing the shell with a whisper-like pressure, and her whole body quivered in response.
It had been two weeks since the incident. Two weeks since her heat, since Vin had shown up, and she’d made a valiant effort to avoid the club’s main room since then. All of the cooking she’d done in the previous month paid off, and her containers of frozen meals were relocated to her little apartment refrigerator, effectively cutting out her need to leave the cluster of rooms at all. She had food, she had books, and she had no need for him and her humiliation.
She could turn on a dime, make the most of whatever she had to work with, no matter how meager the working might be. She didn’t turn with the moon, Jude reminded herself, but shewasstill a wolf. She still had a wolf’s pride, and he had wounded it badly. Jude knew she was the only one at fault, and that she was being ridiculous for blaming him for the way the events of that day had played out, but she’d never claimed to be a good person either.
She realized he had likely been following after her all along. Ever since the first week she’d moved in, when she’d ventured to the gas station at the corner and the food market around the block; since the first time she’d taken the bus to the supercenter and the library. He’d likely sat there in the shadows that night,as she journeyed to the pharmacy, weeping in her seat, glad that the bus was mostly empty at that time of evening. He’d been there all along, and he was there now, making sure that she was safe, just as he’d promised.
“Get off at the stop before your normal one,” he whispered. “Don’t worry, he won’t be following you. Hurry up and get home. I’ll see you there.”
I’ll see you there.
His words were a promise, a promise for her to look forward to. Jude shuddered, realizing that she’d never had anyone waiting for her. Even as a child.
She suspected it was a bitter truth every person had to swallow eventually — someday you would realize your parents were not able to fix every problem, that might not be any more mature than the child having the realization. Someday, everyone had to face the truth that they didn’t have anyone to look out for them but themselves. Jude was certain she had reached that truth at a much earlier age than most.
