“That would be lovely!”
More guilt.
“So, how are you getting on in The Big Apple?”
“Good,” I say, deciding to focus on the positive and not mention the apartment scam that set me back thousands or the ill-advised crush I’ve developed on my neighbor. “I’ve been writing my blog, which is going well.”
“Your blog?”
I falter. Surely she knows what I’m referring to? I shared the link on Facebook when I started writing it. I’d kind of assumed she would bereadingit, but come to think of it she never did mention anything in her emails. “Yes, Mum. I’m writing a blog. I put it on Facebook, didn’t you see?”
“Oh, yes. There was something,” she says vacantly.
I let out a sigh. “Well, anyway, I’ve got over fifty followers now.”
“Oh. That’s… nice.”
I roll my eyes. This is about the level of enthusiasm I should expect from her. Just because I’ve been away for a couple of months working on my writing career doesn’t mean she’s now started to understand it. I instinctively touch the book charm around my neck, thinking of how baffled my parents were by my choice to move over here, to leave “everything” behind back home. “Yes. It is good, Mum.”
There’s a pause, then I hear her rustling about on the other end. “Okay, just a minute,” she says.
“What?”
“I’m at the computer now. I’m going to have a look at your website.”
“It’s a blog. That’s—”
“Oh, wait. Something isn’t working. Hang on.” The phone crashes down and I hear her call out to Dad. “Clark! Why isn’t the computer working?”
In the background I hear Dad’s exasperated voice. “Calm down, Audrey. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
There’s more rustling and I hear the sound of their ancient computer boot to life. For a few minutes I simply pick at a nail, waiting.
“Okay, I’m back,” Mum says at last. “Single in the City? Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“My life as a single girl in New York City,” Mum reads aloud. “Who needs men when you can live a fabulous life alone?”
I cringe as I hear my own words read back to me. Something about them grates at me, doesn’t sit right. I guess after developing this silly little crush on Michael, I’ve been slipping back into my old ways a bit.
It’s been a week since we went on our non-date around the city, and I smile whenever I think of it. I’m not sure how else to explain it, but it’s like Michael kind of woke something in me. I’d forgotten what it’s like to really like a guy. I haven’t felt this feeling for ages—not even with Travis. In fact, the more distance I get from that whole thing, the more I realize it wasn’t quite the romantic comedy I thought it was. It was definitely a lot morecomthanrom, that’s for sure. And now, I barely think of him.
Michael, on the other hand, Icannotget out of my mind. After our day out, I’ve been letting myself imagine how nice it would be if some of my fantasies weren’t just in my head. I know it’s silly, that I should know better now, and I’ve been trying to fight it—without much success. It’s making for some great romance writing, at least.
But that does make me feel a bit weird about my single blog. Because even though there are some great things about being single, it kind of blows when you’ve got a crush on someone.
“Is this right, Alexis? You’re swearing off men?”
“Yes. Well—no, not forever. Just for… a while.”
“Hmm.”
“What?”
“Are you sure that’s wise, darling, avoiding men? You’re not getting any younger. Don’t you want to have a family?”
I suppress a groan, rolling onto my back to contemplate the ceiling. I probably should have seen this coming. “It’s not forever, Mum. I just don’t feel like being with anyone right now.” Though as I say this, I feel a little twinge in my stomach. I promptly ignore it.
