She had made excuses because she was afraid to let the idea of being pregnant even enter her mind. But now she was overjoyed to have something to live for. She would have a baby—a baby that would remind her of Philip forever. Nobody could take that away from her.
But how far along was she? She was late right now for the third month, so there were only six months to go. Six beautiful, joy-filled months until she gave birth to Philip’s son. She knew she would have a boy, and he would look just like his father.
With that happy thought, Christina turned on her side to sleep, a smile on her lips and her hands gently cradling her stomach.
“JOHN, CAN I talk to you before you leave?” Christina asked. She was sitting at the diningroom table sipping her third cup of tea that morning.
“Can it wait until later, Crissy? I have to get these papers to the colonel this morning before he calls the staff meeting,” John replied.
“It can’t wait. There’s something I have to tell you now. I waited up for you last night, but you came home too late.”
“All right,” John sighed. He sat down across from her and poured a cup of the steaming tea. “What is so important?”
“When I was at the marketplace yesterday afternoon, I learned there’s a ship sailing for England in four days. I plan to be on it.”
“But why, Crissy? I realize you want to get away from this land as soon as possible, but can’t you wait another five months so we can return together?”
“I can’t wait.”
“Of course you can. There’s no reason to leave now. Why, you’ve been downright happy this last month: no more tears, no more sad faces. Ever since you started going out, you’ve changed completely. You love going down to the marketplace. You’ve been going out, meeting new people, and enjoying yourself, so why can’t you stay with me for just five more months?”
“There’s a very good reason why I have to leave now. If I stayed here five more months, I’d have to stay even longer. I can’t take my”—she paused—“my baby across the sea right after he’s born.”
John looked at her as if she’d struck him. Christina turned away from his shocked expression, but felt greatly relieved that she’d finally told him.
“A baby,” he whispered, shaking his head. “You’re going to have a baby.”
“Yes, John—in five months’ time,” Christina said proudly.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I didn’t even know myself until last month, and even then there was still some doubt in my mind.”
“How could you not know about something like that?” John asked.
“I was too upset, John—too caught up with the tortures of my mind to know what was happening to my body.”
“Is that why you’ve been so happy this last month—because of the baby?”
“Oh, yes! It’s given me a reason for living again!”
“Then you intend to keep the baby, and raise it yourself?”
“Of course! How can you even ask such a thing? This baby is mine. He was conceived in love. I will never give him up!”
“It all boils down to that—that man! You want this child because it’shischild. Are you going to leave without telling him about the baby? Perhaps he’d marry you now,” John said angrily.
“If I thought he would marry me, I’d go to him immediately. But there’s no chance. He has married Nura by now. He doesn’t want this child, but I do. And I want to give birth at home in England. I must leave soon, and it might as well be four days from now.”
“Have you thought what people will say? You’re not married, Crissy. Your child will be a bastard.”
“I know. I have thought about it often, but it can’t be helped. At least he will be a wealthy bastard,” she said. “But if gossip bothers you, I won’t stay at home. I can always live elsewhere with my baby.”
“Crissy, I didn’t mean it like that. You know I’ll stand by you, no matter what you decide. I was only thinking of your feelings. After all, you were pretty upset about the nasty remarks of those officers’ wives.”
“But I felt unwanted and miserable then. It made me feel worse to hear that no man would ever want me. But now I’m happy. I can’t be hurt anymore by what people say about me. I don’t care if I never marry. I only want my baby—and my memories.”
“If you’re happy, that’s all that matters,” John said. He tried to accept the fact that Christina would be an unwed mother. He knew she was strong, and he wanted to believe nothing else could hurt her.
