Conflict negotiation (specializing in resolving complex, high-stakes situations, e.g. “who took the last chocolate chip cookie when I called dibs first”)
Expert in logistics and supply chain management, in particular ensuring constant flow of snacks, water, tissues, snacks, sunscreen, spare underpants, snacks, bug spray, dry socks, snacks, more snacks, etc.
Deep knowledge of complex rules systems such as Capture the Flag, Shift Tag, Dodgeball, and Running InRandom Directions While Screaming Is Not An Actual Sport, Kids
Pest control, particularly humane capture and release of giant, terrifying, no doubt poisonous spiders from under bunk beds. Mostly at 2am.
Glitter
Extensive expertise in removing various stains (maple syrup, glue, poster paint, unidentified animal droppings, all too identifiable bear droppings, etc.) from a wide variety of fabric (beach towels, children’s t-shirts, own clothes)
And last, but very much not least:
Professional goat wrangler
“It’s too far, Conleth!” Nancy clung to the tree trunk. “Can’t you just come up and get me, like you always do?”
“If I keep rescuing you every time you’re stranded, you’ll never learn how to manage on your own,” Conleth replied, not letting any of the tension in his body show in his voice. He kept his eyes fixed on Nancy, ready to speed to catch her if she fell. “You got yourself up there, you can get yourself down. Trust your instincts.”
Nancy peered down through the leaves. “My instincts are telling me this is really, really high up.”
“Don’t look at the ground.” Conleth snapped his fingers, redirecting her attention to back to his face. “You’re perfectly safe. You know how fast I can move. In the unlikely event that you fall, I’ll catch you. Now focus on the branch just below you. Keep your weight on your right foot, and see if you can reach it with your left.”
Nancy gulped, but tentatively stretched out a foot. Step by step, he coached her down the tree, twitching with adrenaline at every hesitation or fumble. By the time she reached the ground, he felt as drained as if he’d fetched her from the peak of Thunder Mountain itself.
Hopping down from the final branch, Nancy broke into a big, beaming smile. “I did it!”
He breathed more easily, relaxing at last. “Indeed you did. Well done.”
“It wasn’t as scary as I thought it was going to be.” Nancy brushed a few leaves out of her hair. “I guess I didn’t need your help after all.”
