Conleth did not look like a man who needed coffee. He also didn’t look like he’d spent a sleepless night babysitting a surly bear. He was freshly shaved and showered, his staff t-shirt impeccably ironed. Even his copper hair seemed brighter than normal. He practically radiated obnoxious vitality.
For no apparent reason, he was carrying a large flipchart under his arm. With brisk efficiency, he set this up at the end of the table, angling the blank pad of paper so everyone could see it. Then he clapped his hands together, turning on his heel to face the campers.
“I,” he announced, “have been thinking.”
Beth looked even more alarmed.
“Despite our less than auspicious start yesterday, I am determined that each and every one of you will enjoy thissummer.” Conleth took a marker pen from his pocket. “So let us address the elephant in the room.”
“Who’s an elephant?” Nancy looked around with interest. “Hetta, is it you?”
“The metaphorical elephant,” Conleth said, not missing a beat. “This pack has a problem.”
“I have a problem,” Archie muttered through a mouthful of waffle. “With your face.”
Beth glared at him across the table. “The only problem around here isyou.”
“Thank you both for that perfect demonstration,” Conleth said dryly. “We’re all aware that you two have opposing opinions on a certain private matter. Unfortunately, the conflict between you is affecting the whole group. If things continue as they are, everyone is in for a miserable summer. I’m sure we can all agree this is not what any of us want.”
“You can say that again.”Ignatius swept both Archie and Beth with a scathing glare. “If I’d wanted to spend the summer trying to ignore an awkward atmosphere of simmering tension, I could have stayed at home.”
“None of us are happy about the situation, but what can we do about it?” Finley said, rather forlornly. “Archie and Beth aren’t going to stop fighting.”
“I’mhappy to stop fighting,” Beth said primly. “Just as soon as Archie stops trying to interfere with fate.”
Archie, predictably, turned into a bear. He growled at Beth, showing his fangs.
Paige opened her mouth to intervene, but Conleth got there first. He rapped his knuckles on the table, regaining the kids’ attention.
“As this camp’s purpose is to educate as well as entertain, this seems like an excellent moment to introduce you all to an exciting new term,” he said. “‘Escalation.’ Synonymous with‘unhelpful,’ when it comes to any form of negotiation. Whether in business or life, it’s considerably easier to achieve your goal if you can keep control of your temper. Otherwise one side says something rash, the other takes offense, and before you know it, everyone is diving for cover under the conference table while two lions dressed in business formal attempt to tear out each other’s throats. Not a hypothetical example, by the way.”
“Are yousureyou’re a summer camp counselor?” Nancy asked him.
“Believe me, I’m even more surprised than you are,” Conleth replied. “So, we are all agreed that we cannot go on like this. We need something that will unite us. Something to bring us together in pursuit of a common goal, despite our differences.”
Ignatius gave him a flat look. “If the next words out of your mouth are ‘Let’s put on a show!’, I’m leaving now.”
“Fortunately for all our ears, there is a much better solution.” With a flourish, Conleth uncapped his pen. “What we need…”
In firm, precise capital letters, he wrote:
AS A MEMBER OF THIS PACK, I HEREBY AGREE TO ABIDE BY THE FOLLOWING PRINCIPLES, TERMS, AND CONDITIONS:
He swung back around, sweeping them all with that brilliant, confident smile.
“…Is acontract,” he finished.
The campers stared at him. So did Paige.
“I can see from your faces that we are all in complete agreement,” Conleth said dryly. He tapped the end of his pen against the words he’d written. “Come now, this is Business 101. We have multiple parties with competing goals and interests. Ifwe’re to have any chance of avoiding an entire summer of all-out war, we clearly need to negotiate a binding document of mutually agreeable terms.”
“Is this a prank?” Nancy squinted up at the rafters as though trying to spot a hidden camera. “Is someone filming this?”
“No, but I’m beginning to wish I was,” Ignatius replied. “Someone should be documenting this, if only to show to our future therapists.”
“Conleth’s right.”
They were not words Paige had ever expected to say. From the way the kids blinked at her, they were just as surprised. Even Conleth looked a little startled as she joined him at the flipchart.
