Noah gave her a dry look that communicated every time he’d gone into detail and she’d started giggling or telling him it was TMI.
“You don’t need to start listing sex acts,” Tia told him. “Just give me an overview.”
Noah sighed. He’d done some push-ups while he waited for Tia to get here, but he was going to have to have a proper workout before bed. When he got this upset, the only thing that could cure it was a good fuck or a good workout, and he got the feeling Benji wouldn’t appreciate him trying for the first one. And he wasn’t about to go out to find another option. Even if hewanted to, he would only be thinking of Benji as he pounded into some twink who didn’t cry half as prettily.
Would Benji let him sleep with someone else? Noah thought he would. He might grit his teeth when he agreed, but he’d do it. He’d let Noah do anything. Most of the time, this gave him a hot thrill. Now it made him a little sick.
“Michael showed up,” he admitted. “He doesn’t suspect anything, but I think it set Benji on edge. He was… strange when I came back. I didn’t notice it at the time. Well, Idid, I just thought…”
He clenched the wine glass tighter, remembering how Benji had bit his lip and pulled him down, his grip hard and desperate. Like he had something to prove. Noah should have paused, should’ve talked to him. But Benji had goaded him, and Noah had been too distracted by his naked body to do anything but comply.
“I fucked up,” he continued. “Said something I shouldn’t have.”
“Why? What happened?” Tia dragged her feet up, pressing them into his leg, and Noah was reminded of the very first movie night they had together in college. She hadn’t trusted him yet. He hadn’t given her any reason to. Back then, he was a frat boy with a smug grin and an entitled swagger. She was right to hate him.
But he wasn’t like that anymore. Benji had no reason to worry. For a second, Noah had gotten tired of convincing him that.
“He didn’t safeword,” he admitted. “That’s— God, that’sbasic. I only like it if he likes it. He shouldknowthat.”
Tia grimaced, adjusting her sparkly glasses. “I mean, sure. If you’re being rational about it. I don’t know how rational that kid is. I don’t wanna use anything your asshole brother said, but hewas kind of right about his feral cat vibes. In an endearing way,” she added when Noah glared at her. “You know I love cats.”
Noah stared at the screen. The two men were still in the dirt, hissing at each other.
“I yelled at him,” Noah said. “I can’t believe I did that.”
Tia snorted. She’d yelled at every single girlfriend she’d ever had, and they’d yelled right back.
“I’m just surprised you guys got into a fight,” she said. “Like, a proper one. You’re always so worried about being so much. All your proper fights for the past… what, ten years? Have all been verysensibleandadult. Minimal screaming.”
This was true. Noah always felt hehadto tone down his arguments because he was so much in all other aspects—the constant texting, the gifts, the intensity of his attention. Not to mention how he was in the bedroom.
“I couldn’t hold back,” Noah realized. “I never can with him.”
He thought back to Benji bent over his bed. The wet noises Benji had been trying to muffle with each blow. He’d really thought Benji was into it. Then he’d looked down and noticed Benji’s cock was soft between his legs. At first, he’d thought it was just temporary, a consequence of coming too many times before. Then he’d looked closer at Benji’s shoulders, tense not with desire like he’d thought, but with dislike.
He thought of the deep pink of Benji’s ass as he shoved it into his jeans. He’d winced as the denim settled over him; Noah was sure of it now.
He needed someone to rub away the sting. He needed balm, the light aloe that Noah had tucked away in his drawers. He neededtouch, his sweet, touch-starved boy who melted into Noah’s hands so easily once Noah got past his walls.
“One second,” he told Tia, getting out his phone.
You need cream for the bruising, he typed out.I can drop some off. Just say the word.
Benji’s reply came within a minute.
what did i say about telling me what i fucking need?
CHAPTER 9
Benji really wished that Noah could just be an asshole about it.
It would make everything a lot easier. If Noah could just text himhow dare you walk out on me, do I have to remind you who’s paying for your hotel,then Benji could be mad at him, and that would be it. Clean. Simple. No guilt and self-blame twisting up his insides.
But Noah—the bastard—kept texting him sweet, annoying shit. Even after Benji swore at him, Noah didn’t let up:I was out of line. I’m sorry. Please tell me if you’re alright. Are you using any ointment? You have to soothe it. You’re still my good boy, Benjamin.
The last text was what finally made him relent. That, and Daphne asking him why he looked like he was about to burst into tears as they headed to Mr. Jervais’s class.
He wanted to tell her,I didn’t get much sleep last night. It’s fucking pouring, and I have to bus back to the hotel, and I had a fight with Noah because I’m a fucking dumbass.
