All I could do was helplessly endure what I thought I had fixed.
Chapter Thirteen
RIVER
Iwas at his side in less than a second.
Alex’s body collapsed into my arms, and his limbs felt like a dead weight, despite my natural athletic strength. I wrapped a secure arm around his back, and my free hand coddled his head as I lowered us to the ground.
I felt the shaking as his legs clenched and released while his hands trembled beside him, and his green eyes had a thousand-yard stare that made my stomach sink. He was aware of what was happening, but all he could do was endure it helplessly.
But I remembered what to do.
Glancing around us, I pushed away a chair dangerously close to his head. I pulled off my hoodie, bunched it up, and carefully slid it under his head. My fingers trembled against my phone as I set a timer to count how long it lasted.
A high-pitched screech rang through my ears, practically making my heart leap out of my chest. Millie stood over us like a statue, tears brimming in her squinted eyes as she stared at Alex.
“What’s happening?” Millie all but yelled. “Is he okay?”
“He’s going to be just fine, I promise,” I said shakily.
The child fell to her knees as the tears escaped her eyes. “I’m scared.”
Watching the normally bubbly girl use all her strength to hold back her fear shattered my heart. It was safe to assume she had never seen her uncle in such distress, and I had no way to shield her from it.
“Millie, listen.” Facing her to give her my attention, I cupped her cheek with my hand. “I want you to take your iPad, go into Alex’s room, and stay there. I swear he is going to be alright, but I also need you to be okay. Will you do that for me?”
Her tear-filled eyes peered into mine as if I held the cure for cancer. I held all of her trust, and it was a delicate thing that I took with care. If only the kid knew I was the last person to deserve it.
Millie chewed on her fingernails as eyes darted between her uncle and me, trying to decide what to do. She eventually nodded, still trembling as she walked slowly to Alex’s room with her iPad in hand.
As soon as she was gone, Alex became my sole focus again. An uncomfortable heat circled the pit of my stomach as my mind raced with unwanted flashbacks. I had handled this situation many times, and my brain had memorized the steps even years later.
Alex’s seizures were something I thought had stopped in the time we were apart. Either I was wrong, or the reason I had tried so hard to stay away had materialized right before my eyes.
Growing up, he would have them weekly, and multiple times a week on a bad one. Since they happened so frequently, I was often a witness to them. I became so well-versed in how to take care of him that I outshone the teachers when he’d have one at school. They often fell into panic, which only made the situation worse. Whereas I, despite how watching him like that made my lunch threaten to come back up, knew how to soothe him until the seizure passed. At least, that was what I liked to think.
I was the only one who could get him through it, and that knowledge filled me with a sense of pride. Especially when I wondered if I was the reason it was happening.If it’s my fault thatit’shappening, at least I can fix it.
Four long minutes dragged on for what felt like two hours, and I couldn’t do anything but what. Whenever I’d think it subsided, his limbs would prove me wrong and convulse again. If it hit the five-minute mark, I’d have to call the ambulance, but I knew that was the last thing Alex would want.
A loud groan sounded, accompanied by a hitch of breath as he turned over groggily. I moved closer to him once he came to, eyes staring at me, glassy and confused. Giving him a second to gain a sense of awareness, I ran my hand in a gentle motion along his arm. Once, he told me my touch grounded him, so I hoped that was still the case.
“Hey,” I said gently, brushing his brown curls out of his face.
“Hi,” he rasped, his chest rising and falling faster by the second. Alex’s hand gripped the end of his hair, and he tugged at it. It was instinctive—a telltale sign that his brain was struggling to process everything around him.
I had to be persistent to remove his hand from his hair, and his fingers, moving like spider legs, seemed to be searching for something to hold. As I laced my fingers through his, his hand squeezed mine like his life depended on it.
Alex’s lip quivered as if he’d lost control of his jaw, and the dazed look in his eyes made me wonder if he was fully here. Afraid he’d send himself into a panic attack, I gave his hand a tight squeeze while my free hand scratched the top of his head.
I leaned forward and spoke in his ear. “Do you know where you are?”
“Yeah,” he whispered.
“Do you know what happened?”
He made a gut-wrenching noise, barely a whimper. Then, he nodded.
