I didn't want to admit it, but Bella had a point. I thought back to all of the interactions I had with Javier, and every one I can think of has been because I had created this hostile rivalry between us. Was I the problem?
No, I couldn't be the problem. Yes, Javier only seemed to respond to my insults, not start them. I also created a feud between us. However, he was still constantly trying to be better than me. No matter what I would do, Javier would try to do it better, and he usually would succeed. He got joy out of seeing me fail. He walked around the school with his chest poked out in pride because he knew he was the smartest one there.
I leaned my head against the window and kept my mouth shut for the remainder of the ride. I was upset because I was thinking about how my entire reason for hating him was because he was better than me. Thinking about it made me realize howpathetic it was. He was just good at shit, and there I was hating on him for it.
I spent the entirety of my life striving to be good at something—anything. I needed to be the best at theveryleast, one thing. It gave me a sense of belonging. If that something wasn’t academics, then it was nothing else. I wasn’t good at anything else. And all Javier continued to do was show the world that academics was another thing I wasn’t good at, just like everyone already fucking knew but wouldn’t flat out say. For that, I was retaliating in the only way I knew how: being a dick to him.
Being behind Javier meant that I wasn’t the best. So, no matter how difficult it was, no matter how long it took, I would accomplish something greater. Small things like tests didn’t count anymore, they didn’t hold enough impact. Seeing as I lost the class election, it had to be valedictorian. It was a chance I had to prove that I was worth something, and then maybe things could change. Until then, life needed to continue as was.
I was going to be valedictorian no matter what it took.
Ten
Eli
Ichecked my watch, the time reading 12:00 PM. I had told Ricky I would be at his place thirty minutes ago, yet here I was a twenty-minute walk from him.
"Thanks," I said to the cashier as I grabbed the bag of items off the counter.
I then left the gas station with a bag in each of my hands. Emerson forced me to the store to get her some candy because apparently, I was her errand boy. Luckily, the gas station was only a five-minute walk from my house, and there was something there that I wanted to buy for myself.
One thing I had always loved about that particular gas station was that they never ID'd. I went there pretty often, so I recognized the three cashiers that would rotate shifts. They knew me as well and had no problem selling to me. The gas station wasn't the only place I bought from, it was just the place that was the closest, so I went there more often.
The bottles inside of the bag clanked against each other as I walked. When I was passing by the ice machine in front of the building, my eyes fell on the one person that I never wanted to see yet kept seeing more of.
"Alright, now I'm totally convinced you're stalking me," I deadpanned.
"What are you doing here?" Javier asked, standing in front of me with his arms crossed to his chest.
Beside him was his girlfriend, Diane. She stood next to him with her hands on her hips, staring at me with her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. No clue what her problem was.
I looked between the both of them, bored. "Getting snacks."
"Oh, same," said Javier
There was an uncomfortable moment of silence between the three of us. I didn't know why I was still standing there, I had nothing that I wanted to say to Javier or his girlfriend. I should have walked off the moment the conversation ceased.
"What's in the bag?" Diane asked skeptically. Though, I believe she already knew the answer because of how intensely she was staring at it.
I tried to discreetly shield the bag behind my back. "Snacks.”
Diane’s lip curled. "That doesn’t look like only snacks."
Was she actually serious? I was not the very first teenager in the world to purchase alcohol, and I was definitely not the last. Besides, I didn’t need the girl's judgmental looks. I got enough of that from other people.
I could have denied it and reiterated that it was only snacks. The bag wasn’t see-through, so she was making assumptions based on the noises coming from said bag. However, I couldn’t find it in myself to care enough to correct her. She should have taken it upon herself to stop being so nosy.
Diane continued, "It's illegal and wrong for you to have that. Honestly, I would have thought you of all people wouldn't partake in such activities. You're really smart, Elias, so how could you drink that…let alonebuyit?"
My brows furrowed. "Sorry, when?"
Her judgmental expression morphed into a confused stare. She interlocked hands with her boyfriend. "When what?"
"Did I ask? For your opinion, I mean."
Diane’s jaw dropped before she scoffed. She then turned to her boyfriend, probably hoping he would back her up. Javier, however, looked like he was stifling a laugh. When he caught wind of his girlfriend’s jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed, he straightened up.
"Don’t succumb to bad habits like everyone else," Diane said softly, but the disgust was still radiating in her tone. "Let’s go, Javier."
