My boiling blood is spiraling up and down my body.
“Shh… sleep.”
“Say it or I’ll make you say it.” He roars like a bull.
I grip the bedsheets hard, and in this moment I want to tear them apart and leave him in a pile of scraps. This is not the Victor I’m falling for.
“I’m staying. Happy?” Hot tears burn my eyes. I squeeze them tight, but a few escape. I open them again and inaudible tears rush out.
“No,” is the last thing he says before his eyes close and don’t reopen.
His body relaxes next to mine. How could I be so unlucky? Why can’t I meet a guy like the one on my dream board? I must be projecting the wrong signals because I’m only attracting trouble. Dull pain funnels into my chest and settles there.
I need to steer away from the Bull.
If I stay on this path, he’ll break me.
I wait a few more minutes and with two hands lift his arm and make my escape. I close his bedroom door behind me. I decide I won’t mention anything to Alek. It’s Victor’s call.
* * *
In the morning I only find Alek downstairs. I ask him about the movie and Abi but after I run out of things to talk about, we fall into an awkward silence.
“He went out running.”
I try to keep my face straight and my mouth shut. How can he run with a hangover? Or has he done this so many times that now he’s a pro at it?
Alek shakes his head. “Victor’s black eye is a normal occurrence around here, and usually I don’t care. Did you see him last night? He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Alek crosses his arms at his chest.
“No, everything was fine.”
Alek’s body relaxes. “Good.”
He leaves to go to his practice, and I wait for the Bull’s return.
A moment later, his heavy breathing is in the kitchen, and my back greets him. Washing my cup and plates takes a long, long, long time.
“Thank you. I assume I didn’t get in bed all by myself.”
I spin around so fast, I see bright spots. “You don’t remember?”
“It’s a blur. So not really. I’m so sorry, Tia.” His eyes don’t have their usual spark, and his shoulders are more slumped than usual.
I study the purplish color below his eye. Victor takes a few steps my way, but I put my hands up.
“Don’t,” I snap at him.
His eyes cloud with pain and he rubs his chin.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Victor exhales loudly.
I shake my head. The “no” is stuck in my dry throat.
“But I could have. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry if I scared you.”
His lips flatten and the tightness in his eyes increases.
I swallow hard. “Victor, I can’t be with you. I wasn’t scared that you’d hurt me. But you brought up all the bad memories I’ve suppressed for a while.” My heart stutters. “It’s better if I keep my distance. You have a fight to focus on—and I’m a distraction.”
