“Awww,” I say, and turn to examine Victor’s face. He rolls his eyes at me. “I’ve got plenty of material to tease you with later.” I gesture to the pictures.
“You wouldn’t dare,” Victor says and smirks. I laugh and hear Doreen’s chuckles behind me.
“Victor, come here,” I say. “I want to take a photo of you. Your mom doesn’t have a recent picture of you.”
He stands a few feet away from me, his arms crossed with a wide smile on his face.
“Perfect.” I snap the picture with my phone.
“I’ll get this printed and send it to you, Doreen.” I also secretly love that I have a photo of him on my phone now.
“Thank you.”
I love watching Victor and his mom interact—the way they talk to each other, their smiles. Their gestures are in complete contrast to his dad yelling demands at him in the gym. Victor has taken on two different sides from his parents—the aggressiveness and fighting from his dad and the gentleness and tenderness from his mom.
I believe every person has a bad side and a good side. Some evil and goodness living together, and it’s up to the person to choose the side they show. I remember Victor saying I bring out his gentle side, the good side in him, and his words make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
“Do you guys want to help me cook sugarplum hard candy? I know Victor can’t say no. But Tia—what do you say?”
“Let’s do it!”
My eyes meet Victor’s and he gives me the briefest wink.
Doreen rubs her hands together and with a wide smile, she starts giving me directions. I’m opening drawers to take out measuring cups. I spend a considerable amount of time searching for the ingredients. The powdered sugar is the easiest to spot in the pantry. We grind almonds and spices until all the ingredients are mixed together in a large bowl.
I send Victor a dubious look, knowing I won’t be able to recreate the recipe at home. He responds with a grin of triumph. Once Doreen places the delicious-looking balls in a container, she warns Victor not to eat them until after we leave them in the fridge overnight. We say our goodbyes to this sweet lady, and she hugs me and Victor multiple times.
I peer at Victor as he’s driving back. His head rests comfortably on the seat and his elbow is on the middle console. This is not the same man I saw in his dad’s gym.
“Your mom is so nice, and she loves you so much.”
His gaze shifts to me for a long second. Good thing we are waiting at a red traffic light.
“I know. And I wanted to tell you this before… I love you, Tia.”
My breath hitches. The light turns green. He takes his eyes off of me and back to the road casually as if he said he’s thirsty and he’ll have a glass of water.
“People say opposites attract but I’d disagree, at least in our case. I’m a trained fighter, but you’re a fighter in your heart. We’re more similar than different, Tia.”
I squirm in my seat. He loves me? My chest tightens. I want to kiss him so bad. I stop my hand from flying to my heart, which will burst out of my chest any moment, and I stop myself from jumping in his lap while he’s driving. I’m hyperventilating. It’s a dream come true.
I want to shout the words back. I want to share my soul with him. But the words get stuck in my throat, which is getting drier by the minute. The heaviness in my chest grows. He’s leaving me soon. If I don’t say the words, it’ll hurt less at the end.
In no future scenario do I get to keep the one I love.
I’m thankful when Victor reaches for his phone to play music through the car’s speakers. He’s smiling while making his selection. I’m glad he won’t be able to hear my loud heartbeats. One of my favorite songs comes on.Mercyby Shawn Mendes starts playing, and every word is like a merciless nail hammered deep into my heart.
* * *
There’s a knock on the front door of my apartment, then a click of the lock, and Alek walks in. Abi grins and jumps up from the couch, her textbook falling on the floor. I laugh.
They are all over each other. “Must I endure all the smooching and moaning?”
They finally disentangle. I’m glad she’s been doing better. Maybe she’s adjusting to her living arrangements—she’s stuck with me.
“Hey, Twinkle.”
“Hey, lover boy.”
