Ireally had no intentions to come to Faheem’s funky ass birthday party. If it wasn’t for Mrs.Toi reaching out to me, I wouldn’t be here. He really pissed me the fuck off thinking I was about to make myself unavailable while he had a whole girlfriend. It was dumb enough that I continued dealing with him as is. He had to be out of his mind if he thought I wasn’t keeping my options open too. I wasn’t Mixie; if he thought I was gonna go for the shit she did, he had another thing coming. I didn’t care how mad he got or the shit he did to try to intimidate me. If Faheem wanted me to himself then he would have to do the same for me.
My petty ass actually made plans with Kojo today. We’d been talking a lot lately, Faheem had been preoccupied with hisgirlfriend. It wasn’t anything serious going on between Kojo and me. He was something to do so I wouldn’t feel stupid. Like most niggas, he jumped when I started giving him more attention. Kojo was a good distraction. He was always willing to chill when I wanted to. He would literally drop everything when I called him. That was one of the things I liked about him. He was alwaysavailable, unlike Faheem. Even if I just wanted to talk on the phone, he was with it. Even with him working a nine to five he made time for me. Faheem, on the other hand, only made me a priority when Mixie wasn’t involved. Not to say that Faheem didn’t treat me like a priority, because he did to a degree. He was with me more than he was with Mixie, but the few occasions he’d be with Mixie instead of me, he’d become completely unavailable to me. That shit pissed me off like no other because he expected me to run when he called and it should have been the same for me. One too many times my dumb ass went running, and now Faheem’s ass was too comfortable.
After the night he took my door off, I realized he wasn’t all the way there. He wanted to wake up and act like everything was okay with us. He had another thing coming. I put as much space between us as I could. I had to before I bashed Faheem in the head. I kept my door locked and tried to get out the house before anyone else woke up. I went as far as refusing the food he would try to send to me at work. He could feed Mixie. Her ass had been sick anyways; she needed the food more than I did. For once Faheem and I were on the same page because he wasn’t breathing down my neck trying to force me to talk to him. It was odd at the same time it gave me space to think. Although it hurt Faheem wasn’t trying I told myself it was for the best.
Being friends with Frankee was a blessing because talking to her always got my head together. Even though Faheem was her brother, she was quick to remind me I was that bitch, and no nigga or bitch should be able to knock me off my square. She encouraged me everyday and kept me from folding.
My childish self took back my gifts I’d gotten Faheem the night of his dinner. I started to take everything back but decided to bring them with me. Despite what we were going through, I wanted him to enjoy his gifts. Each one of them had a meaning to them, and I wanted to see his face when he got them. Ishouldn’t, but I did love Faheem. In a perfect world, he’d be my husband for real. We’d be happily married raising our family together. That wasn’t how our story was going, unfortunately. He had Mixie, and I had my niggas.
Mixie’s ass was posting like her and Faheem were some power couple. She’d been extra with the posts lately. I’m sure she was trying to save face for her little friends. I let her have it though, ‘cause technically, he was her nigga even if he didn’t act like it. I really planned to keep this distance with Faheem. My feelings were becoming too invested and this situation was beginning to feel one sided. That was until I came home to Mixie running her mouth on the phone about me. Whoever she was on the phone with, she was trying really hard to impress ‘cause she was tryna play like I wasn’t shit to Faheem but a jump off that was chasing behind him. That’s when I made it my mission to show her how much Faheem didn’t want me. At least for today, it seemed like she needed a friendly reminder.
Faheem’s parents really did their big one putting this party together. It turned out a million times better than Mixie’s dinner. The mansion was nice as hell. There was so much food, I didn’t know what to eat first. The decorations were on point and actually matched. This party screamed Faheem. From the music to the weed bar, everything reminded me of him. The entire atmosphere was different there and it made you want to celebrate.
I did want to leave when I first came. I got a glimpse of Faheem hugged up with Mixie. Frankee was the only reason I didn't leave.I really wanted to give into my impulsive thoughts to push them both in the pool. Seeing them really had me in my feelings because the fuck was he doing all over her? I didn’t care if he was her man first. He was mine now. That soured my mood, and I didn’t even bother telling the nigga I was here. I would eventually make my way over to Faheem once I got in the rightmental space. I refused to let either one of them see me sweat. I had to mingle and get a drink or three. I got a few niggas’ numbers, I wasn’t finna use them, but it helped hype my head up. The more I drank, the more I was feeling myself. I started hyping myself up, and I said after one more drink, I was finna go disrupt Faheem’s peace.
Everybody was finna know who Juniper Banks was, that’s how I was feeling on the outside. Although on the inside, I was having the biggest battle. Half of me wanted to go home and cut my losses with Faheem. I was too fine to be chasing behind an unavailable nigga. The other half was telling me to wreak havoc and make them feel the agony I was feeling. If I couldn’t be happy, neither could they. This situation between us was becoming too much for me, and I was really weighing my options at this point. Faheem thankfully kept up on my rent at my apartment. I could always go back there. My problem with that, I didn’t want Faheem to have access to me if I left. At least not until we got the divorce. I’d been trying to reach out to my parents, neither one of them answered my call, not that I thought they would. It did give me hope when my mom texted me back saying everything was almost over. What that meant, I didn’t know, but it sounded good. Something had to give with this situation because I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.
Against my will, I did the one thing I told myself I wasn’t going to do–fall for Faheem. I was at the point where I wanted him to myself. I was dumb for even believing that I could carry on with Faheem the way I did and not catch feelings. I literally sat myself up for failure going along with this dumb shit. I should have cut this shit short while I had my feelings under control. Now I was stuck in love with a nigga that wanted to have his cake and eat it too. That nigga got me eating my pussy the way he did. He knew what he was doing. Niggas didn’t eat pussythe way he was without a motive. Every time he fucked me, he tried to steal my soul. Faheem got me with the okie doke.
Heading to one of the two bars that was set up, I liked the one closer to the house, the bartender made stronger margaritas. With how I was feeling, I needed a buzz to keep me going. I’d lost Frankee in the crowd of people a while ago. After I got my drink, I was gonna go look for her. When I got to the bar, the girl making the drinks already knew what I wanted.
“I been lookin’ for yo messy ass.” I turned to my right seeing Frankee coming up on my right side with another pretty dark-skinned female with her hair pulled up in a messy bun.
I pressed my lips together as I smirked at Frankee I played like I didn’t know what she was talking about.. “Me, messy? Couldn’t be.”
“Daelite, this is Juniper, my brother's wife. Juniper, this is my other boo, Dailite. Her nigga ain’t shit either,” Frankee said, and I waved at Dailite.
“I don’t have a nigga for him to be not shit,” I corrected Frankee. “It’s nice to meet you, Dailite,” I said, waving at her and giving her a small smile.
“Hey, boo. Don’t pay Frankee no attention, her ass still in her feelings about Mookie having a baby on her. She ain’t had a good thing to say about any nigga since,” Dailitie said playfully, rolling her eyes at Frankee.
“Don’t do me.” Frankee laughed, taking a seat on the barstool and ordering them a drink when the bartender came over to hand me my drink. “Besides I gotta new nigga now.”
“Sooo, you claiming the cousin now?” Deilite asked giving Frankee a side eye that said she was full of shit.
“What cousin?” I had no idea what either of them were talking about. I knew Frankee had been dealing with a new nigga but I hadn’t gotten all th details on him.
“Mookies…” Daelite messily answered with a giant smile on her face as she looked between Frankee and I.
“You know I was wondering what you had going on with him. He kept looking at you all night when we went to his party,” I snickered while taking a sip of my margarita. “You messing with his cousin?”
“Were you?” Frankee pressed her lips together, making them poke out. “I could have sworn you were too busy fucking Faheem in the bathroom.” Frankee thought she was slick by avoiding my question and making the conversation about me.
“Uhn-uhn, what's tea ‘cause I was there that night, and I thought something was wrong the way his ass jumped up. Damn near pushed Mixie ass on her face. My nigga was ready for some shit to pop off.” Daelite tapped her fingers together looking down at me.
“I didn’t fuck Faheem,” I sneakily said with a grin. “He ate me out, but that wasn’t shit.” I tried to play nonchalant.
“Girl…” Frankee said, shaking her head with a knowing grin looking over at Daelite. “You been around my brother for years. You know how that nigga is. Wait until you see him when it comes to her ass.” Frankee nodded over in my direction. “She tryna play like it ain’t like that between them.”
“I mean, if you got the juice to take his attention from Mixie, I’d be flaunting that shit,” Daelite snickered.
Smacking my lips, I waved both of them off. “What’s there to flaunt when she ain’t went nowhere? She’s still his girlfriend.” I groaned in annoyance. Even saying that shit out loud made my stomach churn. “We basically sister fucking wives,”
“Don’t do it, sis, trust me. Get out while you can,” Delight warned me with a dismayed expression. “These ni-” Delight was cut off by an arm on her shoulder. Then a light bright nigga leaned over, kissing her.
“I’m finna run to the store with Fallan,” the light bright nigga said, nodding his head behind him to a slim thick female with the same complexion as him.
“Yeah, I’m cool. I might chill with Frankee and Juniper tonight.” Daelight tried to appear unbothered, but her demeanor screamed she was annoyed with this nigga.
