Well, not him really. To hate anyone you had to care, and he didn’t. It was a waste of energy and he had better things to do with his life. But he hated everything concerning his persona. Because,like always, despite how much he’d hurt him, Noah had everything: the talent, the beauty, the loving family, and all the personality traits that, after the awful primary school years, made everyone want to be around him. He might have been oblivious to it, but when they were in their twenties, Kaj saw it every time they were in the same room. Boys or girls, they all fawned over him.
Kaj’s heart thrummed, stricken with a curse as resentment infected his blood like a disease. But since he was trying to be the bigger person and not the biggest problem—for the band—he got up from the couch and moved toward the rest.
“Hey…” Noah outstretched his hand to him. “Thanks for the chance.”
The warmth of his palm rippled through Kaj, and flashes of them infested his mind. Movie nights, bike rides along the coastal drive, the many afternoons they spent building remote control cars, their first concert, their first kiss, the first and last time they’d touched…
Confusing signals were amplified by his throbbing heart, but he wasn’t alone in that turmoil.
Noah might have been good at concealing the nervousness while talking to the guys, but as they shook hands, his armor cracked. Something like uneasiness and dread sedimented in the depths of his gaze, giving Kaj the leverage he needed to feel like he was still in control of the situation and himself.
With an arched brow, he replied, “No problem.”
As they separated, a mischievous grin spread across Aksel’s face. “You can leave your stuff over here.” He pointed at the other couch in the studio, where clothes and instrument cases were piled up.
“S-sure, thanks.”
Once Noah got rid of his coat, he rubbed his palms over his jeans and scratched the back of his neck before crossing his arms.
“Are you ready?” Niels asked from his chair, a sympathetic smile lightening his face.
“I guess.”
“We can do one or two songs for you to warm up without them. I know they can be intimidating—”
“We’re not intimidating,” Xander retorted.
“You’re intimidating as fuck. Like a big, green ogre with pretty hair.” Aksel laughed as he fell on the couch where they’d been sitting before.
“Fuck you.”
“Are you proposing?”
Kaj rolled his eyes and sighed. At any other moment, he wouldn’t have minded their silly banter. Maybe he’d have even joined, but he wanted to be done with this as soon as possible.
Kaj glared at Noah. Maybe then he’d get the message that he wasnotwelcome here. In his space. His shelter. His fucking saving grace.
“Like I was saying,” Niels resumed, “they can be intimidating, although they’re mostly clowns, as you can see. But we can do this however you want. Just say the word. I want you to be comfortable enough to give me your best, okay?”
“Okay.” Noah visibly swallowed.
“Did you check the list of songs we sent?”
“I did.”
“Are there any in particular you’d like to try today?”
“I think if we focus on the ones by Artificial Suicide, it’ll be better,” Noah said. “I’m here to show you what I’m capable of, no? If we wanna see if I’m a match for the band, maybe it’s better we go with those directly.”
Xander let out a deep-sounding chuckle. “I like him already.”
Kaj clicked his tongue.
“Perfect!” Niels nodded. “What do you think about starting with ‘Never Know’?”
“Sounds good to me.”
“I’d like him to try ‘Outsider’.” Kaj offered a patronizing smirk. It was one of the most challenging tracks they had, vocal-wise.
