“A live performance is not like those little videos you make. You can’t stop and repeat when you fuck up. You have to let go, keep going, and improvise under the pressure of hundreds of people who expect nothing but the best. Maybe you’re not cut out for this, and the audition was just a fluke.”
“Oy!” Aksel interjected. “Don’t be an asshole. We haven’t even played one full song yet.”
“Exactly my point,” he retorted.
“We all have to adapt to each other,” Xander said.
Kaj scoffed. “We have two months to make this work, so he better get it fast. Or do you want that shit to happen at the first concert with everything that’s already going on? Our reputation is at stake.”
“It caught me off guard,” Noah said, as if the rebuke went in one ear for him. “I’ll be ready before the tour starts.” He offered Aksel and Xander an apologetic look before flashing an icy glare in Kaj’s direction. “Let’s go from the beginning.”
“That’s my man.” Aksel smiled at him, making the strings of his guitar vibrate.
Fuck. Kajdidhate Noah.
Four
“Hey,asshole!”
“What?” Kaj pinched the cymbal so it stopped ringing.
“It’s the fifth time I’ve called you. Where the hell are you?” Xander gestured to his head.
“The fuck?” Kaj grumbled, leaving his drumsticks on the floor tom. “What’s with the attitude?”
“You’re one to talk about an attitude.”
Xander was a peacemaker, but right now, as he stood there with his arms crossed, something told Kaj he better behave if he didn’t want him to snap his neck. He definitely could, considering he was built like a fucking bull.
“What do you mean?”
“Really? You need me to explain how you’ve been a complete pain in the ass for the past two weeks?”
He wasn’t wrong, but if he expected Kaj to apologize, he could sit and wait.
“So what?”
“So what?” Xander’s nostrils flared. “We have a month and a half left before flying to America. We’re supposed to film the live session this weekend. We don’t have time to find someone else.”
“I told you I didn’t want that dude here.”
“So you just behave like a jackass?” Xander narrowed his green eyes at Kaj. “For whatever reason, it’s uncomfortable for you having him around, but seriously, what’s so bad about him? Because he’s talented, kind, and patient as fuck. I would have already punched you in the throat if you talked to me the way you talk to him.”
Kaj shrugged. “Fair.”
“You know, Aksel’s right. You’re acting up. You’ve always been so laid-back that if I didn’t know you, I’d think you don’t care about anything. Other than panic, when that stalker turned your life upside down, I’ve never seen these extremely emotional reactions from you.” Xander’s brows knitted together. “I didn’t wanna push it and be a pain in the ass because I hate meddling in people’s personal shit, but… are you using again?”
“What the fuck? No!”
“What’s wrong then? Talk to me.”
Kaj didn’t answer, simply stared back at Xander as if they were in some kind of match—whoever blinked first would lose. This man had all his gratitude, respect, and admiration. The way he’d helped Kaj, being there whenever he called him when he was going through withdrawal, putting up with his mood swings, and never asking for anything in return, was unmatched. Even with the many times Kaj had relapsed, he still had faith in him. But he was cornering him right now, and he didn’t like that one bit.
“None of your business,” Kaj barked, making Xander’s bearded jaw twitch. He had a death wish after all.
“None of my business?” Xander repeated, anger laced in his tone. “When you fuck with the stability of the band, it ismybusiness. What did he do that got your panties twisted so bad? He can’t be homophobic if you had a thing, right? Is he racist? Misogynist? Part of some fucked up cult where they sacrifice goats or something?”
The bassist was compassionate and understanding, but he’d never been one to sugarcoat things or treat you with delicacy when you acted like a rabid animal.
