“It’s different. You’re my friend. That guy... he’s an intruder who will probably want to bring hisbuddieshome. And from what Dad has told me, he’s the popular type.”
Noah shook his head with a smile, then looked at his bare feet. Sand was glued to them, trailing up to his calves. His skin was hot and itchy in some parts, covered in remnants of salt after spending two hours in the water, swimming and dunking his friend.
“It’s not funny.”
“You’re thinking too far ahead.”
“He didn’t tell me about her before because he didn’t know if they’d work out, but he’s been dating her since Christmas.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Kaj twisted his mouth. “He said he’d like to introduce us soon.”
“But that’s a good thing, no?”
“It’s been the two of us for almost seven years, and we’ve been just fine.”
“But he seems happy…”
“But what if she breaks up with him later or dies?” Kaj’s chin trembled slightly, but he bit his bottom lip, stopping the emotional wave. “I don’t want any of that for him.”
He didn’t say it out loud, but Noah was certain Kaj’s mind was filled with images of his mom. The few he might remember. Other than photos around the Larsen’s and the affection with which Nikolaj talked about his wife, Kaj didn’t remember much about her, but it was obvious he missed her. So, of course, it hurt. Or maybe he felt like this new woman would take his mom’s place in his father’s heart.
“We can’t predict the future. For all we know, frogs could grow hair tomorrow and fly,” Noah tried to lighten the mood.
“Shut it.” Kaj laughed softly, the sound sliding into a sigh. He patted Noah’s legs, straightening them to use as a pillow, something he did a lot.
“What did I say?” Noah quirked a brow and reclined on one hand, the fingers of the other mindlessly running through Kaj’s blond hair. Under the warm light of dusk, it looked like it was made of gold. It was beautiful, but not as much as his eyes or that perfect smile with a slightly crooked fang.
“You’re being too reasonable, and I don’t like it.”
“I’m always gonna be on your side, even if you’re wrong. So, we can hate her in silence together if you want, but let him enjoy this. He deserves it.”
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
Noah looked up at the sky for a moment. It was magnificent, tinted with shades of orange and yellow with a dash of purple in between.
“No, I don’t.”
The following Monday, Val and Theo returned. They joined in their monotonous freedom of beach shenanigans and movienights, hating everything when school started again a month later—summer break was too short.
Then, a little before New Year’s Eve, all the fun and mundaneness turned into shit.
Noah was already twelve, still too young to fully comprehend the meaning of death, but old enough to recognize the emotions that assaulted him—sadness and utter loneliness. It wasn’t that he was alone per se; he had Mom and the gang, but knowing he wouldn’t have the chance to see Grandma again left an empty void in his chest he didn’t know how to deal with.
They’d seen it coming for a while. Mom had even tried to prepare him for the imminent day, telling him we all had our time on Earth and the doctors couldn’t do anything to help. Alzheimer’s is just like that, degenerative, unstoppable. Somewhere in his head, he understood all this, but it still hurt.
It’d happened gradually after they moved in. Grandma would ask the same questions repeatedly, get sidetracked in the middle of a conversation, or misplace things all the time. Later, she had mood swings that took her from anger to tears in the blink of an eye. She even got lost once going to the supermarket just across town, where she always did the groceries. Then everything steadied for a bit until she started needing around-the-clock assistance.
It was tough. But the realization that every single person he loved would vanish at some point hit him the worst, turning sadness into something else—grief. Noah cried a lot, but he only did it in the shower, where no one could see or hear him. Where he couldn’t tell his tears from the water cascading over him. He didn’t want Mom to worry when she was mourning the loss of her own mother.
There were nights when Noah felt so anxious he didn’t sleep. Nights when he would check if Trine was still alive.
Several months later, though, he started feeling like himself again. One day, the pressure lifted, and he could finally breathe.
Three
