The first half ofthe next year rolled even faster, and summer passed again in the blink of an eye.
Noah noticed many changes, and he couldn’t decide whether he liked them or not. For starters, his voice was weird. It would croak and squeak, and there was nothing he could do about it. And then, there was also hair—everywhereexcept his face, of course. It had started growing a year before, but it was wild now. Okay, that was a lie. It wasn’t crazy. He was exaggerating because he hated it when he sweat and smelled.Gross.
The transformation of his penis was a different topic. Hedidlike that one.
Aside from that, life was the same. Or so he thought, until school started again.
“Have you seen Anna?” Theo asked Kaj, making a not-so-subtle boob sign over his chest.
“Dude…” He slapped his leg with a chuckle. “She’s hot, but dammit, don’t be so loud.”
Something inside of Noah stirred as he said that. But not wanting to make a big deal out of it, he ignored the uneasiness spreading through him. He knew this day would come. Mom had been dropping hints and asking weird things out of nowhere. Yet he wished it had taken longer. Wasn’t ready to let go of what the four of them had.
“I think Camilla is prettier,” Val chimed in.
They were sitting on a bench in the schoolyard eating lunch and, apparently, talking about girls. That was new. In the past, they would have been discussing the last Formula 1 race they’d watched on TV or how much of an idiot their swim coach was while Noah practiced in the air for his next guitar class. This was an odd shift, and he wasn’t sure he was comfortable with it.
“Who do you like, Noah?” Kaj asked him, elbowing his ribs gently.
“Hm?”
“Just so we don’t try anything with her.”
Noah stared at him, dumbfounded. Did he mean kissing her?
“Bro code, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah. Hmm…” He swallowed his last mouthful of food with a purpose, taking the time to think about an answer as his gaze fixated on the boys playing soccer in front of them.
He’d heard guys their age talk about stuff like this before, but it wasn’t like he had an opinion. Girls didn’t appeal to him. Sure, he could tell if they were pretty or not. He had eyes. But he wasn’t interested in keeping them close and getting to know them more as all they talked about was makeup, clothes, periods—ew—and other things he didn’t care about. With boys, however, he was...intrigued. But it was just admiration, wanting to be like them—stronger, taller, confident. That didn’t mean helikedthem.Right?
“So?” Val’s inquisitive gaze pinned on him.
“Hm... Olivia?” he mumbled, hoping that would satisfy his friends’ curiosity. She was pretty and had some stunning curly hair.
“Oooh…” Theo’s eyes opened wide. “She ishot! Good choice, dude.”
By the time Noah turned thirteen—he was the youngest—his friends were already talking about their first experiences kissing girls, making him feel completely out of place.
He’d seen it in movies, and much worse in the porn videos Jesper, Kaj’s soon-to-be stepbrother, had on his laptop. He and his mom didn’t live with Kaj and Nikolaj yet, but they spent many weekends there. More often than not, Jesper would go out with friends and the boys would sneak into his bedroom. But no matter how he looked at it, he couldn’t understand how anyone found that arousing.
He touched himself every now and then, was stupid horny some days, but even then, it was more like an itch he needed to scratch. Not an urge, and definitely not something he craved at any level. Porn didn’t do it for him, and thinking of people was useless. Masturbation was a way to distract himself from other things, avoid doing his chores, and relax. It was anything but sexy, like the others would have him believe.
Maybe he was broken.
Or maybe he was an idiot, because what teenager in their right mind would bring this topic up with their parents?
“Mom?” Noah called as he approached her.
ThePhantom of the Opera’s main theme engulfed the atmosphere in the living room. Trine was a weirdo raising a weirdo. She loved rock and metal music as much as she liked K-pop, jazz, and this classic symphonic stuff, which she put on fullblast whenever she cleaned the house—from Beethoven to Carl Orff to Nightwish and everything in between, she said it got her in the mood.
“Hey, sweetie.” She paused the movie and turned her head to look at him. “What is it?”
“Can I talk to you about something?”
Trine frowned. “You know you can always talk to me aboutanything. Come here.” She shifted her position, leaning her side on the back of the couch and patting the seat beside her. Then she opened the blanket for him to snuggle underneath. It was March, but the weather was still fairly cold.
“So…”
