Minutes ticked by. He had no idea where they could be or how long it would take them to come back if they were out, and Kaj wasn’t answering his texts. So, hoping to surprise him, hewent to the backyard. The porch’s latticework would allow him to climb up to Kaj’s bedroom—that was how they’d snuck out several times in the past.
He didn’t expect to see anyone, so his brain couldn’t process the image burning his retinas right away. But his heart did, shattering into a million pieces under a vibrant blue sky.
Given the angle, he shouldn’t have seen Kaj first, but Noah had memorized every inch of his skin. From the beautiful curve of his ass to his strong thighs and back, he knew his body like he’d sculpted him with his bare hands.
Kaj was kneeling on his bed with his chest pressed to the mattress and his face looking away from the window, a powerful grip holding him down by the back of his neck.
That’s when Noah saw him—Jesper.
He was sweating. Low ponytail, frizzy and wet, stuck to his spine. Face red. Arms tense and pumped as he pounded Kaj from behind. Over and over again.
Jealousy and disgust jammed Noah’s throat with a dire need to throw up. His stomach and every one of his organs stirred in discomfort. He was shaking as his eyes remained fixated on the most gruesome scene he’d ever witnessed in real life.
Muffled sounds vibrated against the glass, fogging it slightly when Jesper’s almost inaudible but loud enough voice sent Noah spiraling.
“I missed this. So fucking tight.” His left hand latched onto Kaj’s hip, knuckles turning white. “You love it, too, don’t you, baby brother?”
Noah’s heart skidded, sinking deep into the void. A black hole where his hopes and dreams were thrown to die.
Stranded.
Rotten.
He staggered backward, stumbling on the porch’s roof. Nausea crept up his chest and slithered through the cracks of the love hefelt for Kaj. He lost balance halfway down the latticework, falling on his ass, but he barely registered it as he crawled toward his bike, knees and palms scraping. He needed to get out of there.
With no memory of how he’d gotten home, he walked past Trine, ignoring her when she asked what he wanted for dinner. His mind was a tangled mess of noise and pain. The images flooding his mind felt like razor blades slicing through each one of the promises they’d ever made, piercing through his ears as his lungs ran out of air.I would never cheat on you.You’re the best. I don’t want anyone else. Always and forever. He couldn’t breathe or see, and he wished he didn’t have to feel.
“Noah…” Trine called, appearing at his door. “What happened—”
He didn’t answer, simply got up and shut the door in her face. He didn’t want to talk to her.
“Honey…”
“Leave me alone!” Noah sat on the floor, bending his knees and squeezing himself between his nightstand and desk.
Looking at the ceiling, wailing sobs escaped his lips and tears rolled down his cheeks, meeting on his chin before they fell onto the back of his hands. In a lame attempt at stopping the thoughts assaulting him from poisoning his blood, too, Noah squeezed his eyes shut and pulled on the extra hair band he always wore on his wrist, letting it snap against his arm. He did it again and again, until the burn on his skin matched the one in his chest.
He had no idea how long he’d been there when the light in the room dimmed and the streetlamps lit. By then, he was so numb he couldn’t even move. His entire body hurt, but no more than his heart.
How could Kaj have done something like that to him?
How could he betray him?
Later in the night, Noah tucked himself in bed, trembling and still letting out small gasps. He hadn’t eaten, but he wasn’thungry. Wasn’t even sure how he was still functioning when his entire existence had been ruthlessly torn to shreds.
For the next two days—the longest and most painful of his life—Noah stayed locked in his bedroom, going out only to go to the bathroom and grab some water. He hated the way Trine looked at him every time he walked into the kitchen, even more when she tried to get him to talk. He had nothing to say. His brain was still refusing to believe what he’d seen. But there was no denying it. Not when the realization that Kaj didn’t love him anymore pulsed in every air particle. Or maybe he still did, but he clearly wanted someone more... experienced.Clearly, Noah wasn’t enough.
It wasn’t until school started on Monday that they met again. They hadn’t called or texted for the past couple of days. It felt like déjà vu. However, it had an eerie undertone, like it was happening in a parallel universe. And, this time, Noah couldn’t return the smile.
“Hey…” Kaj greeted. He leaned forward to kiss him, but Noah moved away.
“Hey.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, you?” Noah narrowed his eyes at him.
“Good, I guess.” He quirked a brow.
