Page 53 of If I Were To Die


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That night, Kaj slept with his back to the wall instead of letting Noah spoon him. He recoiled from any physical contact, trembling until well into the morning, when exhaustion finally overtook him.

The next day, he was spaced out and jumpy. Noah tried talking to him, getting nothing but“Jesper is an asshole”and other curt answers in response. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk about whatever they had fought about. So, seeing that pushing it would get them nowhere, except maybe to a breaking point, Noah dropped the issue.

They spent the weekend watching theAlienfranchise, only going back and forth between the bed and the kitchen. But Noah was pretty sure Kaj wasn’t paying attention to the movies. His gaze was empty, almost as if he weren’t there. From what Trine had told him, based on her experience and what the therapist had told Katja about Kaj’s situation, this could happen. Depression worked in waves, and the discussion with his stepbrother must have triggered something they couldn’t comprehend.

She still asked questions, though, and this time it wasn’t her nosy nature trying to dig up information. She was truly concerned about Kaj—the permanent crease between her eyebrows ratted her out. But Noah didn’t have much to tell her, so they were stuck at square one until she decided to go to the Larsens’ to talk to Jesper on Sunday afternoon.

He told her they had argued because, against Jesper’s advice, Kaj got super wasted on New Year’s Eve and didn’t like it when he called him out for not taking responsibility for his actions.

On Monday, Trine got reprimanded, Katja’s tone and threats loud enough for all the neighbors to hear.

“Where’s my son? Kaj!” Katja’s high-pitched voice called, wild eyes scanning the open-plan space. “Why’re you still here? You should be home by now.” Her brows knitted together when she saw him sitting on the couch with Noah.

“I-I—”

“You, nothing. Get your things and let’s go.”

“Why don’t you come in and we can talk about it?” Trine offered, stepping to the side to let her in and, at the same time, standing between Katja and her stepson.

“I have nothing to talk to you about.” She pointed an accusatory finger in her face. “You need to stop meddling with my family! First my husband, and now my kids? Are you out of your mind?”

“Your husband?” Trine asked, confused.

“Yes. You act like a strong, independent woman, but you wouldn’t stop calling him to help you with this or that. And now you treat Kaj like he’s yours and come to my house to accuse Jesper of what?”

Trine didn’t take the bait, keeping her cool the best she could, considering.

“I just thought that since you’re their mom, and we know teenagers don’t talk to their parents, they might talk to me and I could—”

“Stop it! Just stop it, and leave us the fuck alone.”

“I just want to help. I know how hard it is to be a single mom.”

“I’m nothing like you.”

The venom with which she spat those words seemed to strike a nerve. Trine’s stance and energy shifted from welcoming to you-don’t-wanna-fuck-with-me. Noah almost screamed at Kaj to hit the deck. Seriously, she was the kindest and most understanding human, but you didn’t want to make her mad.

“Look, Katja,” Trine started in the calmest voice she could manage, though it still made her son shiver. He had heard her entire range, and that tone was always the prelude to things she didn’t say in the name of civism. “If you ever wanna talk like adults and without alcohol involved,” she emphasized that last part, “my door is open. But I’m not gonna allow you to come here, to my house, and yell at me like I cursed all your fucking ancestors.”

“Like I said before, I have nothing to talk to you about. If you keep messing with my family, talking to my underage kid when I’m not around and bringing him to your house without me knowing—”

“I texted you.”

Katja raised a finger, signaling for her to stop talking. “Don’t. Next time, I’m calling the police and suing you.”

“For what?”

“Kidnapping.” A wicked spark glowed in her irises. “Or grooming.”

Noah had no idea what that meant, but it had to be bad because Trine went rigid and Katja flashed a triumphant smile that only the devil could match.

“Let’s go, Kaj.”

Later, Trine explained to Noah that, as much as she wanted to help Kaj, she couldn’t push it further or Katja would end up reporting her. Those were severe accusations that might flip their lives upside down, and she couldn’t afford a lawyer who would clean up the mess if they got to that point. Katja was his legal guardian, and unless things got really out of hand and Trine had evidence to call child protection, there was nothing else they could do.

The worst part? She looked more worried than Noah had ever seen her.

Despite everything, Trine continued looking out for Kaj. Told him he could call her whenever; was pretty insistent about it.