“Didn’t you say Mads is perfect? Why do you need to screw anyone else?”
“He is, and he’s been there for me when I needed it the most, but I have needs he can’t fulfill.”
Noah flinched. “I don’t know what you’re talking about exactly, but it’s not like you’ve asked me for my preferences.”
“You haven’t complained a single time either.” Kaj shrugged.
“Fair.”
“So?”
“Just sex?” Noah asked.
“Yup. No drama, no jealousy, no exclusivity, no small talk.”
“You’re talking right now.”
“To clarify things,” Kaj bit back. “We’re not friends, and I don’t intend to get involved with you in any other way.”
“Classy.”
“Just honest.”
“Whatever.” Noah blankly stared out the window again, clenching his jaw as he considered this absurd offer.
What they had done in that backstage room a month ago was the main reason he’d broken things off with Zach. Somewhere in his mind, he was still upset about it, no matter how good it felt the first time and the second. Recidivism would only cement that bittersweet taste. Besides, sex alone had never done it for him. Why would that be different now? Even when no romantic feelings were involved, he wasn’t comfortable sharing. How the hell did Mads do it?
“Look, Sørensen.” Kaj let out a heavy sigh. “What we had... I’ll probably never have it ever again, but what’s done is done. You have your life. I have mine. And I don’t want to blend them. It’s as simple as that.”
“You sure don’t mind our fluids blending.”
Kaj snorted. “That’s different, and hot.” He side-glanced at him, smirking. “I have no idea why, but it’s obvious you still want me, and apparently, you still do it for me, too.”
“Should I take that as a compliment?”
“Take it how you want.”
The rush, the nervousness, and the high taking over him an hour ago were gone now. This talk, Kaj’s coldness... it was all so clinical, Noah wanted to jump out of the van. This was stupid.Fucking while hating each other. No love or any other type of connection but the memories they shared, no friendship, no... nothing but pure, filthy sex. Some people would see it as the best pact ever, but not him. Thinking about it made Noah feel sick. He needed more than physical interaction, yet the idea of letting this man escape was even worse.
“Not that it’s any of my business, but I’m curious... does Mads also fuck around?” Noah asked out of the blue.
“You’re right, that’s none of your business, but—unless he’s lying to me, which I doubt—no, he’s not.”
“And how did you get him to accept this?”
“Because he’d rather give me the freedom to fulfill my needs than keep me all to himself, knowing I’d be miserable.”
“I see.” Though he still didn’t understand.
Was Kaj’s libido and stamina really that out of control? Because nothing else made sense for him toneedto have several sexual partners when he had a boyfriend. Noah would have got it if Kaj was into knife play or something that Mads didn’t like. But the two of them hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary either, and since he hadn’t asked, the drummer couldn’t know if they shared any kinks. Noah was definitely missing some information.
“How wouldthis”—he flicked a finger between them—“exactly work? I just text you whenever I have an itch, and vice versa?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that what you did with the dude you were with the last time?”
“Not really. I didn’t even know his name.”
