Without repeating what he’d said or asking for permission, Kaj lapped Noah’s abdomen. He pried his jaw open and let his own cum drip inside before he sealed their debauchery with a kiss.
Twenty-four
They made out forquite some time. It felt like that calm after a storm, the energy so different from before that Noah almost fell asleep. He was drained after working the entire night and being pounded into his next life, and judging by the languid kisses, Kaj was nearing that point, too.
After a while, when their lips were so numb they couldn’t feel them, they stopped. In silence, they sat on opposite sides in the back seats and cleaned themselves, using so many baby wipes that Noah was sure they had emptied the box from the console. Once they put on their underwear, still not uttering a single word, Kaj rolled down the window and lit a cig.
Except for the river far in the background and a few early birds chirping, there were no other sounds in or out of the vehicle. It was strangely comfortable in this post-coital silence, but Noah had the sensation his time here was up. Reluctantly, he re-dressed. The sole idea of having to ride two trains now to go to his mom’s was exhausting, but he hadn’t grabbed Val and Theo’sapartment key, and he wasn’t going to wake them up at this unholy hour. So, yeah.
Once he made sure he had everything with him, he cleared his throat and finally looked at Kaj—hadn’t dared to do it before—only to find him staring back with a stupid, lazy grin plastered on his face.
“What?”
“Are you always this awkward after sex?”
Noah’s mouth twitched. “Shut up.”
He chuckled, letting out a cloud of smoke and throwing the stub outside before closing the window. “What were you going to say?”
“Nothing. I’m leaving.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kaj said as he put on his jeans. “I’ll drive you home.”
Noah let out a short, dry laugh. “Quite the gentleman.”
“I’m not, but it’s the least I can do after drilling into your ass the way I just did.”
“It’s far.”
“How far?”
“Taastrup.”
After putting on his tee, Kaj reached for the door handle on Noah’s side and slid it open. “Get in the front.”
Maybe it was all in his head, but with the engine roaring and some metal music filling the space between them, the atmosphere in the van was dense. He didn’t know what to say or think. What had happened, what they had done, how Noah felt toward this man. The way his brain was clinging to or inventing the connection they shared—wasn’t sure anymore—to hold on to who they used to be...
It was all physical, though. It had to be. He couldn’t stand his sarcastic remarks and constant belittlement. Hated the way Kaj spoke to him like he was insignificant or despicable, dependingon his mood. It fucking hurt looking at him and all their shattered promises in his eyes that had turned into dust.
But at the same time, it was as if a firefly had come to life, shedding light on that dark corner inside Noah’s soul that he thought had been obliterated forever. A flicker of hope.
Noah sighed, looking out the window at the trees flying by as they sped down the road. Being fucked like that had raveled his wires.
“What are you thinking about?” Kaj’s voice brought him back.
“Is this gonna be a regular thing?” Noah blurted what had been on the tip of his tongue from the moment they’d hit the road.
“Do you want it to be?”
“I’m asking you.”
Noah looked at Kaj. His eyes were fixed on the road ahead of them, his body relaxed in a way he hadn’t seen since they’d first crossed paths again. Whenever they were in the same room, they were both stiff and ready to jump down each other’s throats, but he didn’t sense any of that murderous energy now. It was like a glimpse of the guy he once knew.
“Leaving what happened in the past aside,” Kaj said, glancing at him for a second, “and the fact that you’re not my favorite person—”
“Says Mr. Friendly...”
“Leaving all that aside,” Kaj repeated, “there’s something… Let’s call it chemistry. So, as long as you let me fuck you, I’m down for it,” he said, as if he were talking about the weather.
