1
The pan of eggs clattered to the floor, flinging yellow liquid everywhere. "Damn it," I whispered. Leaning against the counter, I tried not to sob out loud as the valiant effort I was making to hold myself together failed again.
"What the hell is going on?" Lucifer roared.
I raised my watery eyes to see him standing in the kitchen doorway. "I bumped the handle of the skillet and knocked it off the stove."
There was no telling how he'd react. Being in his human body wasn't good for Lucifer. He was one of the most powerful Fallen, if notthemost powerful. I was the only one that was ever able to give him a run for his money, but my power was softer. I had just as much power as he did, but his acted like a tidal wave, roaring through his body unchecked. Mine was like a raging river, large and powerful but precise in its destruction. We both had access to a small bit of our powers, but not enough to do what must be done.
His wanted to be free, sending him into rages at times. An incident like a spilled pan of eggs would be just enough to do it.
Not that he'd ever hurt me. Not physically.
"Can you do nothing right?" He seethed. "This earth cycle has made you an absolute idiot."
Emotionally was another story. In Abaddon, he'd grown distant and sometimes short with me. This Lucifer trapped on Earth was cruel.
"It's just eggs, Luc. I'll clean them up." My anger rose as I ignored the hurt his words evoked and I grabbed the handle of the skillet and threw it in the sink. As I pulled off a few paper towels to begin sopping up the uncooked egg, Lucifer spoke again.
"How could you give our baby to a human?" His voice had lost its cold edge, replaced by pain.
It was the first time he'd spoken of Ariel since Michael and Gabriel came to tell us they had no news. I wanted to break down in tears at the thought of my sweet girl in some unknown situation.
I couldn’t look at him, I knew if I looked at him, the facade would break. I took a deep breath. "She's human, Lucifer. Human. What else could I do? I found a good family to raise her."
He crouched beside me but didn't offer to help clean up the mess. Of course. Lucian would've helped without a second thought. "Did you not stop to think that even when we are in human bodies, weare not human?"
The paper towel turned yellow, soaking up the mess as my arm froze in the middle of wiping. I should've let Jellybean inside. He would've cleaned it fast. "Our bodies are. And she was made of our bodies."
"You know as well as I do the bodies don't matter. The souls matter. How else could we help souls in Abaddon and put them in a different body? Even if her body was human, her soul was likely not." He pushed himself to his feet and turned away from me. "You should've waited, talked to me first!"
"I did what I thought was best at the time," I yelled. "Don't you know how hard it was for me to hand over my newborn baby minutes after giving birth to her—a birth I went through, I might add,without you!"
"If we don't find Ariel, I'll send all three of you to the underworld to be reborn,” He roared and slammed his fist through the drywall before stalking from the room. I couldn't help but believe him. He was human now, but it wouldn't be this way forever.
What if he was right? Had I made the worst decision ever? Ariel couldn't have gone to the underworld; we would have known that, or at least Gabe and Michael could have been able to find out, right? And Lucifer should have been dead by now, which would put him in Abaddon fixing the gate and we have made the effort to do that too. So it wasn’t like I was trying to get out of my duties, I was trying to do the right thing, at least I think I was making good decisions. Ugh. Where were Gabe and Michael when I needed them? Technically, Lucifer didn't need me to help him in Abaddon. I could've come right back to Earth in my ethereal body and taken care of Ariel.
Just because it had never been done before didn't mean it couldn't have been done now.
* * *
Lucifer walkedinto the bedroom and sighed. It had been hours since I dropped the eggs, and I was trying to take a nap, but my mind wouldn't shut off. All I could think about was what horrors Ariel was facing. Or had faced. What if Raphael had just killed her? I had no way of knowing.
"TheLignum Cruciswas a good idea." He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry."
The blanket fell off of me as I sat up. "You're sorry?" I couldn't help the shocked expression on my face.
Lucifer wasn't one for apologies. As a human, Lucian had been free with them if he thought he was in the wrong, but Lucifer didn't say sorry lightly.
He didn't move, just stood there and stared at me. "I said it. You did make the wrong decision, but I know you've always wanted children."
A tiny seed of hope planted in my heart. I knew Lucifer wouldn't have been cruel before he'd woken up trapped in human flesh. Cold, indifferent, and flippant, sure. All those things had hurt, but I was used to when he'd done them in Abaddon. But calling me an idiot, that was a new level. I had to hope it was the influence of his power, angry that it was trapped within him and couldn't be freed.
Not to mention, he'd always wanted children as well. "I know you're hurting too," I said. "I accept your apology."
I wouldn't forget he'd called me an idiot. But I could move past it if he stopped being a complete asshole all the time.
Especially if we brought Ariel home. I wouldn't have had him being anything but wonderful to her. Why would Raphael take her and where would he be hiding her? If she wasn’t human, what did that mean for us? Our future? Perhaps Anna could help us. We could somehow visit her often here on Earth. She had six parents, between all of us one of us could stay with her all the time. I didn’t want to raise my hopes by thinking her body would be capable of going to Abaddon. She was still in a human body, as far as any of us were able to discern in the short time we had her with us.
