“But then I saw my mom. She was sticking her head out the bathroom window. My dad was right behind her, holding her close. The firefighters tried to save them, but they were too late. The door burst open and then…” His voice chokes up as tears gush down his cheeks. He buries his face in his hands. “It was all my fault.”
I wrap my arms around him, holding him close. “No, it wasn’t anyone’s fault.”
He shakes his head. “I went to that party. I should have been home. Maybe I would have smelled the smoke, maybe I could have saved them.”
“Ryan, you don’t know that.”
He slowly drops his hands, shaking his head again. “Itwasmy fault.”
“It wasn’t—”
“I caused the fire.”
My lips snap shut.
His hands fist at his sides as his pain turns into anger. “I was so selfish, so careless. I left my laptop plugged in. It was faulty and I should have unplugged it before I went to the party. But I didn’t, and that’s what started the fire.” He finally looks at me. “You see, itwasmy fault. My parents are dead because of me.”
Tears pool in my eyes as I watch him torture himself like that. “No, it wasn’t your fault. Accidents happen. Your parents don’t blame you for what happened.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do. They love you and want you to be happy. They don’t want you to blame yourself. I know they want you to have a good life.”
He shakes his head again. “No.”
I place my hands on either side of his face, staring into his eyes. “I know it, and deep down, you know it, too.”
He doesn’t say anything, his mind seeming not to be here anymore. I give his hand a squeeze and try to be as supportive as I can, but he needs to come to terms with this on his own.
He lays his head on my shoulder and that’s how we sit for a long time. His body is trembling, chest heaving.
“I’m here for you,” I tell him after a little while. “I’ll never leave your side.”
He gazes into my eyes. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Artemis.” He rests his forehead on mine. “And you’re right that my parents would want me to be happy. And I want that, more than anything. With you. And I want to make you happy.” His lips skim my cheek. “I hope I won’t always feel guilty for what happened, but I can’t shake the feeling off.” He gives me a hopeful look. “Be patient with me?”
“Always. And you alreadydomake me happy.”
He continues gazing into my eyes. Then his eyes drop to my lips, back to my eyes again. “I have very strong feelings for you,” he says in a low voice.
I dip my head. “I have strong feelings for you, too,” I whisper back.
He bends closer, I bend closer, and the next second, his lips move over mine. They’reso soft, warm, and a little hesitant. It’s like he doesn’t think he deserves to have this much happiness. But I push closer, kiss deeper. I want him to know hedoesdeserve this. I want to do everything I can to make this guy, this mysterious yet wonderful guy, the happiest person in the world.
I feel the sun shining behind us as we kiss. It feels like we’re in the spotlight this time. Like we’re on stage, except this kiss is real, and the wind around us is the audience giving us a standing ovation.
“Artemis,” he whispers, voice like silk as it tickles my skin.
“Ryan.”
He draws back to look into my eyes. “Thank you. For being here with me, for listening. For being the amazing person you are. I thought I lost everything the night my parents died, but I see now that I don’t have to lose everything.” He pauses. “My grandma wants me to play soccer again.”
“Do you?”’
He holds up his hands helplessly, eyes twisted in pain. “How can I? My parents came to all of my games. They cheered me on louder than all the other parents.” He shakes his head. “I can’t do it without them.”
I slip my hand into his. “I know it’s not the same. But you have me. You have your grandma. And you have my family and the entire town. You’re not alone. Here, you’re loved.”
He rests his cheek on mine. “Thanks. You’re right that I have you and everyone else. My grandma is desperate to have a relationship with me. I didn’t know her growing up. She and my dad had a fight and he left to New York and she wasn’t in my life. But she is now, and I want to make up for all those years.”
