I smile. “That’s great.”
His lips twitch like he’s trying to smile. But it vanishes a second later. “I wish you could have known them, Artemis.”
I lay my head on his chest. “Then tell me. Tell me all about them.”
And he does. We spend pretty much the entire day in the park, with Ryan showering me with many stories about his parents and his life in New York City. It wasn’t as glamorous as one might think. He lived in a poor area in Brooklyn, but he was happy. His childhood was perfect. I’m glad he can hold onto those memories, because they’re very special.
“I’ve been saving up money for a guitar my dad used to have,” he tells me after a little while of staring at nature. The sun is setting and it’s beautiful outside. “It belonged to his favorite musician. He saved up a lot of money to buy it, and he used to let me play on it. But then money was tight and he had to sell it. I promised him I’d buy it back one day, and I’ve been selling my drawings to try to save up for it. But now that my grandma needs those pills…” He shakes his head. “But it’s okay. What matters right now is her health.”
I press my lips to his. “You’re so amazing.”
I can tell he wants to argue, but I shut him up with more kisses. His arms latch onto my waist and we fall to the ground, rolling around one another as we kiss.
It might be too early to say this, but I think I’m falling in love with this guy.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ryan
All I can think about all night is what I revealed to Artemis at the park today. It was hard, maybe one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I’m glad I told her. I want to be close to her, to be honest with her. I don’t want to keep anything from her. And I definitely don’t want to ever hurt her.
I’m tossing and turning, not because I told her about my past, but because of something completely different. I can’t be open and honest with her. Because our relationship started off on a lie. On a payment. Sure I returned the money and I really, really like her. Maybe even love her. But still, she needs to know the truth.
I somehow make it through the night and find myself entering the school building the next day.
Only a few hours ago, I was so sure telling her the truth is the right decision. But when I find her fishing her books from her locker, I don’t have the heart to do it. I don’t want to hurt her.
But…how can I keep this from her?
“You okay, man?”
I look up to find Jason standing there, eyebrows furrowed. “You look like you haven’t slept at all.” He grins knowingly. “My sister keeping you up all night with texts?”
I glance at Artemis, then back at him. Her brother might be the only person who can help me with this. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.” He gestures to the stairs leading to the basement. It’s a good place to have a private conversation, since no one really comes here.
We drop down on the steps. And I just stare at the floor, too messed up about the whole thing. Why did I take the money in the first place? It’s a terrible thing to do to someone, especially to a girl as sweet and kind and amazing as Artemis.
Jason looks at me with furrowed eyebrows. “You’re not thinking about breaking mylittle sister’s heart, are you?”
“No.” Why would I do that when she’s the best thing to have ever happened to me? She made me realize that I shouldn’t blame myself for my parents’ deaths. Even though I still do, a part of me knows they wouldn’t want that. They’d want me to be happy, and I am, with Artemis. When I’m with her, a sense of peace and calm washes over me. And I haven’t been having nightmares.
He claps me on the back. “Then what’s the problem?”
“I don’t want there to be any secrets between us.”
He looks at me like he has no clue what I’m getting at.
“I need to tell her that you paid me to take her to the dance. It’s not right to keep it from her.”
“Dude.” His hand is on my shoulder. “You can’t do that. She can’t ever know. It’ll be our secret.”
I shake my head. “I don’t feel right keeping it from her.”
He sighs. “Take it from someone with experience, telling your girlfriend that someone paid you to take her to the dance is a bad idea.”
“But—”
