I just don’t think I can.
Artemis’s hand closes over mine. I glance down at it, then at her. She must not have realized what she did because she quickly yanks it away. “Are you okay?” she asks, voice low.
I nod. “Fine.”
She shifts in place. “So…why can’t you draw?”
I shrug. “I guess I have artist’s block. You think of something.”
She searches my face. “Have you ever had artist’s block before?”
I shake my head. After my parents died, the only thing I could do was draw. It was a great escape, helped me feel not so alone. But why can’t I draw now? What is it about this girl sitting right next to me that’s holding me back? It’s as if there’s a brick wall in my mind.
“Maybe if you figured out why—”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “No, I don’t want to figure it out,” I snap. Then I sigh, covering my face and leaning forward. My hair falls over my hands. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. This is just so frustrating.”
She places her hand on my back. Her touch is so soft. So warm. “Maybe you need a break.”
I shake my head again, dropping my hands. “I can’t stop. I need to draw.”
“Why? Because it makes you happy?”
“Not only that.” I sigh. “I need the money. I sell my drawings online.”
She lifts a brow. “Really? That’s so cool. And people buy them?”
I nod.
“Because you’re so talented.”
I don’t respond, but I love hearing her say this. Not sure if it’s true, but I still want to hear it from her.
“Thanks,” I say after a little while.
She smiles. “Just saying it like it is. But you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to make the drawings perfect. Just draw what you feel.”
Sure, on any other day, I’d do that. But now that all I’m drawing is her face, I can’t risk it. But of course I can’t tell her that.
I push the easel back. “Maybe I should take a break, like you said. And maybe the inspiration will hit me tomorrow.”
She nods and slides the tray toward me. “Then let’s dine like kings and queens on this delicious grilled cheese and vegetables feast.” She giggles, then covers her mouth, her eyes wide. “Wow, that was so dorky.”
I’m not listening to her. All I can think about is that adorable giggle. Not only does it light up her entire face, it fills me with a feeling I’ve never felt before.
The bell rings and I’m surprised to find I’m disappointed. Is it crazy that I want to spend more time with her? I want to hear that adorable giggle, talk to her,dancewith heragain. I want to just…be with her.
Artemis gets to her feet, gathering her tray. “We’d better get to class.”
“You go ahead. I want to see if I can come up with something.” I nod to the canvas.
She wavers at the door. “Okay. See you later.” She leaves the room.
I reach into my backpack for my sketchpad and check out the latest drawing, the one where her hair is pulled up.
My heart pounds so strongly as I take in her eyes. Why, why can’t I let this girl go?
***
