I closed my eyes. I shouldn’t have been this tired. It was just a pregnancy test, after all. I wasn’t actually pregnant. But right now, I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and ignore the rest of the world.
So I did.
Chapter 10
Erich
I stayed awake for a long time while Jacques slept in my arms. He had closed his eyes, tears drying on his cheeks, and within minutes, he was asleep. Meanwhile, I stared at the ceiling, dumbfounded.
I knew that I wanted to be with Jaq forever. I knew that we were something and that I was ready for that next step. Never in a million years did I think that next step would be so close. Yet a negative test meant that a child, our child, was further away than I would have liked.
Disappointment, sadness, all of it ricocheted within me. I would have welcomed a child with Jaq so much. I supposed the silver lining was that at least now we could do things in the order that was expected of us, if he would have me.
While I had been traveling, attending a ridiculous party for his father’s party, Jaq had been here, wrestling with this fear by himself. I should have been here for him, or at least he should have been able to reach out to me. The rules of our relationship didn’t allow for that sort of thing. Well, that ended now.
I had a feeling that once he woke up, he might try to retreat, as he usually did. I would hold strong, though, no matter what it would take. He and I would be putting an end to this casual thing. We would make this real.
Carefully, I pulled the blanket over top of us. I let myself drift off to sleep knowing that I had my omega in my arms, right where he belonged.
Before I knew it, the sun was streaming in through the window and Jacques was stirring in my arms. My limbs were stiff from holding him all night. We were still in our clothes. It was as if we hadn’t moved at all.
“What time is it?” he said.
“Late,” I said. “Or early. I’m not sure.”
He reached across me and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. “Oh, goodness. All right, well, at least I didn’t waste the whole day. I have—I have to go check in with Thomas to see what he needs from me today.”
“It’s your day off.”
“Yeah, but I still try to—”
“Jaq, it’s your day off. I’m back early from my travels. We have a rare day where the two of us don’t have an itinerary. Let’s enjoy it.” I tugged him back against me. We desperately needed a shower and a fresh pair of clothes, but for now, I was going to hold him. Eventually we would need to get up. Preferably we would shower together. Until then, I wasn’t letting him out of my arms.
“Thanks for being here. Sorry about...” He gestured at my shirt, as if apologizing for crying on me.
“I’m glad I was here,” I said. “Glad I pushed my way into your room. I wasn’t sure how that was going to go over.” I chuckled nervously. “Hey, Jac, we really shou—” I began, but Jacques held up a hand.
“It’s all right. I understand. We shouldn’t do this anymore. That was too close of a call.” He laughed nervously, building up his armor brick by brick. The walls went up around him, and he began to move away. “And neither one of us can risk having a kid. I mean, goodness, it would not look good for your family, and especially with me.”
I put my hand over his mouth, silencing him.
“Marry me,” I said, throwing the words out there that I had spent the last twenty-four hours trying to figure out how to say. It felt like a big jump from casual to marriage, but it was the most natural thing in the world. My life was not complete without Jaq. I needed a wrecking ball to blast through the walls he’d carefully constructed. This was it.
His eyes widened, and he let out a squeak. I dropped my hand.
“I love you, Jaq. Everything about you. And I know we weren’t supposed to let this happen. This was casual and fun. No one could know, but it stopped being casual for me a long time ago. Maybe it never was. I don’t want it to end. Ever. I want the world to know how I feel about you. You’re amazing and kind and the most amazing uncle to our nephews. You are a great brother and a loyal friend. You make my life better just by being in it.”
“You can’t marry me. I can’t,” he said. “I am not any sort of— You can’t.” He shook his head and began to pull away. I held tight.
“We can. My brother married a commoner from America. My other brother married a barista. Pretty sure no one is going to mind if I marry a prince from another country.”
Jacques scoffed. “I’m not a prince. I’m the bastard son of a king. That is a huge difference.”
“Don’t call yourself that, Jaq.”
“It’s the truth, Erich.” Of course, he used this moment to say my name for the first time. “That what I am. Bastard. Illegitimate. Untitled. All those things. The press in Asach would torch us if we announced we were a thing. The former king—”
“You are also an uncle. A brother. The love of my life. I don’t care about the press or what your asshole sperm donor thinks. This is about us and what we want for our lives. Cort wants to give you a title. He has the paperwork ready.”
