Once we’re settled, she drives.
“Where are we going?” I ask softly, resting my head on the window, watching the busy street buzz with life that seems to escape me. The lights all blur to a kaleidoscope of colors in the night.
“I’m taking you to him.”
To him.
The only place my mind still recognizes as safe. To myhome. To myIz.
Outside the warehouse, it’s full of life and loud. But still so different from the club or restaurant, whatever the fuck the place was, Alexa brought me to. Here, the noise has rhythm, a purpose. Maybe this is why he finds comfort here. It’s dark and with a coldness that leaves no room for intimacy. It’s just pain with rules. Something I would find comforting if I didn’t almost lose him, and I didn’t lose myself.
Alexa doesn’t even park straight, before she’s already out of the car and opening my door. Before dragging me inside, weaving between people until I reach a crowd around a silver cage. I want to tell her to stop, that I’m feeling a little bitter. A little nauseous… slightly in pain, but I can’t breathe, but then I spot him.
And the sight of him bloody, and frozen, knocks the oxygen right out of my lungs. It’s instant. There’s a battle between how I want to feel. Seeing him soothes and comforts me to know he’s there. Safe and alive. Then the other part of me feels like drowning, my hand moves to my chest. He’s all covered in sweat, his chest heaving from breathing like he’s barely staying afloat. Crimson runs down his nose. His gloved hand moves towards his left eye, and from where I stand. I can still see him grimace at the touch. When his opponent moves closer, so do I. Only to take two backwards when Isaac moves. It’s quick. One minute he’s swaying, the next he swings, over and over.
His mind is not here.
It looks bad even from here. I’ve never seen him like this. So out of it and still so focused. Then he takes a hit to the jaw. It’s so hard that it makes his head snap to the side. My heart drops, my body flinches at the sight. I look away, not being able to stomach the sight of him hurt. “STOP!” I yell, my voice cracking. When I look up, it’s Sledge who stares back at me, with a pity that almost makes me sick. Shaking his head as he closes the distance, his eyes shoot daggers at Alexa. “She shouldn’t be here.”
Alexa stands between us, shifting her attention towards him. “She needs him.”
“No, she needs to be home.” He points at the stage, showing me the brutality with which he fights. “Not seeing him like that. Go home,” Sledge continuesto ramble, but his words fall on deaf ears. I’m transfixed on his movements. He swings.Misses. Swings.Connects. It’s a dance of the macabre. Brutal and primal. One missed beat, and it all comes tumbling down. Isaac takes hit after hit, doing nothing to stop it. It’s like he’s trying to punish himself into feeling nothing.
It’s too much for me to stomach. That’s when he takes a hit to the nose. More blood rushes down, and I lose it. My body moves without thinking.
“STOP!” I scream, my fingers hooking around the metal links, “STOP!”
Isaac freezes, slowly shifting towards me. And every wall he’s been holding up collapses at the sight of me. “Ronnie?”
I might be imagining this, but it all goes quiet around us, and just as I thought it was over for him on that mat, he shows exactly what he is capable of and why he punishes himself. Isaac couldn’t protect us back there. “It’s okay, baby,” I whisper, my lips trembling. Salty tears filter between them. “It’s okay.”
He doesn’t respond with words, just with his fist.
I see it now, even as my eyes blur with each devastating blow he lands on his opponent. All his pain. All his guilt lay bare for the warehouse to see. Before I can blink away the tears, the fight is over. His opponent is sprawled and knocked out on the ground. There’s not a moment of celebration. Hell, Isaac didn't even wait to be called a winner before storming out of the cage, straight to us. The sight cowers me even though I know he would never hurt me. More cramping roars through my body alongside the queasiness.
Alexa steps forward. “She had a panic attack, so I brought her to you.”
His entire face caves in, and in two short strides, he closes the distance. Not bothering to wipe the blood off his lip or acknowledging anyone else, he grabs my hand.
“Come here,” he whispers, his tone deep like being dragged through gravel. It sends shivers through me. He pulls me gently like I’m something fragile that he’s terrified of breaking. Weaving us through the crowd until he reaches the back area and steps into the locker room, closing the door behind us. The smell of sweatand soap invades my lungs, and the hum of the fluorescent lights is loud enough to annoy me.
Isaac presses his back into the wall, pulling me into him. “What happened?” he whispers, his hands trembling around me. “Talk to me, Ronnie.”
“I don’t know. We went to the club.” I regret the words the moment they leave my mouth. His frown tells me he’s displeased with her, but he shouldn’t be. It’s not her fault. Fuck, it’s maybe not even mine.
“She brought you to a club?”
I bit down on my lip, knowing I might have used the wrong descriptor for the restaurant. “It was a restaurant, sorry.” I shrug. “She just wanted me to relax. There were just so many people and… the music. Just so loud.”
My words make him snort. “A nightclub is anything but relaxing.”
“I said it wasn’t a nightclub.”
He rolls his eyes, trying to fight off the annoyance he feels, I’m sure. His body vibrates from the adrenaline. All I want is to make it better. Make him feelbetter,just like he does for me. Before I can stop myself, I lift my gaze to his, my fingers trembling as I touch his heated skin. “Are you okay?”
He laughs, something broken. “No. But I will be.”
“I think you’re hiding something.”
