His grip tightens on the base of my neck, pulling me closer, his nose touching mine. “I would do anything you need. What I won’t do is hurt you.I can’t.But if this is what you need, take all of it. Take any part of me you need. I’m yours… I just want you to be sure.”
“You want me to be sure?” I ask, confused, moving gently, I tuck a hand between us and find the bulge in his pants. “I’m sure that I want to do this. I need this to feel safe. To feel anything other than the hell inside.”
I move my hand, gently stroking him lazily through the fabric, and he sighs as he falls back onto his back. “Then make yourself feel better.” His gaze shifting from comforting to lustful. “I want to watch.” My body shakes, not out of fear but from the overwhelming need to take. Take back everything that was stolen from me. To choose something soft, something mine after so much brutality and heartbreak. Isaac’s breath stutters, watching me through hooded eyes when I rip off my shirt, exposing myself to him.
“Fuck, you’re perfect.” I look away, once again finding myself freezing up when the unwanted memories begin to invade. “Fuck… baby… look at me.”
But I don’t. I can’t; my eyes remain fixed on the window, focusing on a small sliver of streetlight that illuminates the space. Iz softly grabs my hand before placing it against his cheek. “Look at me.” This time I do.
And in his eyes, there’s no darkness waiting for me. No lust, only reverence. Only love and warmth. Something I can melt into. His free hand remains loosely at my hip, waiting patiently like he always has. I lean into him, using my hand to work him out of his pants, and he takes in a sharp inhale. We will have to be quiet and gentle, so different than our first time after so many years. Doubt quicklycrosses my mind, but it quickly leaves the moment I brush the head of his cock against me.
Time suspends itself.
I’m sure we’ve both stopped breathing, waiting to see what happens next. Slowly, I sink onto him, just the tip. He’s bigger than I remember, or maybe it’s my body’s way of protecting me. My nails dig into his chest when I slide a little deeper. Enough to stretch me, my body stops trembling. “Fuck… You’re so big.”
“You can take it, Ronnie,” he pants. “You’re doing great,” he praises, his fingers trailing their lazy path up my skin, leaving my skin pebbled. “Go on,mami. Use me.”
With that, I lower until I’m fully seated on him. His thick girth stretches me open to receive everything he has to offer. Isaac digs his nails into my hips, his hips rolling with each of my movements. Small circles at first, letting the warmth build slowly enough that I can lose myself. It’s a battle between my mind, my heart, and my body. Each movement anchors me to him. His body shakes from his restraints, and how he’s managing to just let me take. It’s beyond me, yet he does.
“You’re… fucking killing me,” he groans out, before a broken sound slips out of him. The low sound is almost a growl that sends sparks through my body at a cellular level. I lean forward, my forehead pressing against his shoulder.
“You feel so good,” I whisper… but who am I kidding… It’s practically a confession that almost merges into a sob. “You feel…. like safety.” My pace quickens as the warmth grows into scorching heat. “Like… home.”
He hums, his hips lifting to meet my movements even though he doesn’t. Iz just holds me there, just enough to make sure I’m working every spot that sends tingles down my spine, and causes tiny stars to burst in my vision. “Touch me.”
He does, his arms wrap around me, pulling me closer. This time he thrusts up just once, enough to send me tumbling to the edge, letting me ride out the small gasp that leaves me. “What else do you need?” he asks gently.
I shake my head. “Nothing, this is perfect.”
“Good,” he practically moans, the knot inside me loosening as I let myself ride the pleasure, reaching its peak. My body begins to tremble, pleasure tightening low in my belly, and I know he feels it because he practically sings for me.
“Let go,” he whispers, kissing the corner of my mouth. “I got you.”
And I do.
I fall so hard, but I don’t scream. My orgasm slams into me quietly, a whirlpool of emotions that knocks the oxygen out of me, leaving me breathless. It’s quiet, soft, unlike anything I’ve experienced. The release is something out of this world; it’s like exhaling after being underwater for too long. When it’s all over, I collapse on top of him. Iz’s arms catch me instantly, wrapping around me while still tucked deep inside me. His fingers stroke my back in a long, soft line, lulling me to a relaxed state. There is no room to think when I’m so high off him.
Off this.
“Now, sleep,” he whispers against my temple. “I got you. You can sleep.”
I close my eyes, sighing against the firmness of him. I feel my body drifting further away into the abyss, with each lazy stroke up my spine, he mumbles something I can’t quite make out. I want to ask him to repeat what he said, but my eyes feel too heavy, and my body doesn’t obey. Just as exhaustion starts to take me, I think that maybe there’s a version of my life where this feeling doesn’t have to end.
Chapter Thirty Four
Isaac
Sleep has never been a friend of mine, and after everything that has happened, I’d consider it my mortal enemy at this point. But tonight, I feel my body relax with her tangled against me and my cock still deep inside her. It almost feels like something close to peace. Veronica’s breath is warm on my chest, the smell of her skin soothing and intoxicating, her knee hooked over my hip, straddling me while she’s sound asleep despite the small jerks in her body.
My fingers softly trace a pattern on her back, attempting to relax her, when I notice her fingers twitching between us. A deep yawn leaves my mouth, my eyes burning and heavy with a sleep I fail to give in to… but should. Let’s face it, I’m exhausted. Yet, I can’t help the need to stay up longer than I should, guarding her rest the way I would back in that fucking basement. Even though I can’t save her from the place that haunts her the most… her mind. I close my arms around her, cradling her to me. Hoping the feel of my steady beats can calm hers, the weight of her feels right, like she belongs nowhere else but here with me.
My eyes shut when I inhale the scent of shampoo. The smell of Ronnie invades my lungs, conquering any anxiety in its wake. I feel myself sink deeper in the warmth of her skin. The softness of her body, and before I know it, I’m surrendering to exhaustion.
“NO—STOP—”Smack. “GET.”Smack. Smack. Smack.“OFF.”
I barely get a chance to open my eyes before the blows land across my chest and face. Her body jerks violently above me, her nails digging into my flesh as she tries to literally claw my face off. She’s fighting, not even awake. Her eyes closed, hermind trapped somewhere far uglier than my room. My heart hammers into my chest, adrenaline surging through me. Grabbing her wrist, I yank her back down towards me, holding her as she violently thrashes against me. “GET. OFF.”
“Ronnie,” I choke out, trying to subdue her before she hurts herself. I firmly grab on to her thick thighs before throwing my leg over her lower half and flipping us over, so I’m hovering over her. Probably not the smartest move, but it gets her eyes to flutter open. “Hey—Hey. I’m here. Ronnie, look at me.” Though it’s dark, I can still see the horror written all over her delicate features. With a sigh, I release her wrist and cup the side of her face to bring her back to me. “Look at me,” I breathe out. It’s no use. Even with her eyes open, she still doesn’t see me. She’s locked inside her mind. Her grey eyes, wide and unfocused, just as her mouth opens to screams. The sound pierces through the night.What the fuck?
