The sound guts me. But it’s nothing compared to the way her voice sounds when she pleads. “Please—stop.” She sobs, and I feel the fight leave her body beneath mine, her voice cracking. “Please.” The sight twists my stomach and burns a hole in my chest. My eyes blur.Fuck. I don’t have enough time to process, when she stills, her chest rising in quick and short breaths.
“Veronica!” Mariana calls from the hall, and the sound of racing footsteps echoes outside my door. Just as I go to pull away, the door flies open, only giving me enough time to slide my cock back in my sweats. “ISAAC!” My dad's voice booms behind me, looking over my shoulder. I stare at him and my stepmother, who looks a little taken aback, before understanding settles across her features, all while trying to shield my sister. She manages to push past them, seeing her siblings in a very compromising position. “Nix…”
“Isaac.” My name flies out of my baby sister’s mouth as she stares at us with her eyes wide and full of confusion.
“She needs me,” I mutter to them, hoping they understand. My gaze moves back to Ronnie, who looks aware and fucking horrified. “Iz,” she whispers, her bottom lip quivering. Using my body, I shield our family from her view, caging her in. “It’s just us,” I reply before waving them off and trying to cover the nakedVeronica lying on my bed, while she sobs. Focusing on the way her breathing stutters, and her fingers clench into my sheets.
She’s drowning.
Thankfully, no one says anything. I think we’re all in shock. From her screams, from seeing her naked in my bed, probably connected the dots. It’s not like our parents didn’t know she’s pregnant and that I’m the father… They should know that our dynamic is forever changed, and if they didn’t, well, it didn’t matter, none of it.
“Go back to bed, I got her,” I grit out as I lie flat on my back and pull her into my arms, possessiveness surging through every cell in my body. As I rock her in my arms, cradling her with my love, my body bears the weight of her sobs. From my bed, I watch as the door closes silently. Tomorrow there’s gonna be a lot of explaining on my part, but right now, she needs me.
And who am I kidding… I need her.
“Iz,” she sobs. “I can’t make them stop.”
I listen to her fears, to the nightmares that plague her mind, all while holding her until the shaking stops, until she’s breathing in tiny, uneven puffs against my neck. My body continues its steady rhythm, rocking softly, as my hand runs down the length of her back, helping her fall back to sleep. This time I didn’t follow her there, not after that. I just hold her, feeling the melody of her heart. I’m terrified of closing my eyes again and letting her go through this alone…
The sun rises, my bladder screams for me to get up, even as Ronnie sleeps soundly in my arms. I reluctantly pull myself away from her and make my way out of the room. When I step into the hall, Mariana is standing by the edge of the stairs. Her eyes locked in on my door, and then on me. “Good morning,” I mutter while walking towards the bathroom, feeling her eyes on me with each careful step I take.
She doesn’t say anything, and guilt works its way up my throat, curling like vines around me. I take my time, enjoying the nuance of it all. Howmuch we take for granted… It was only days ago that we were trapped in a basement with basically no kind of hygiene. No real autonomy.Nothing. My eyes drift to the scars that adorn my wrist from being restrained. The thin, jagged scar left as a reminder that I was shot and somehow survived. I hate it, being constantly reminded of what happened to us, and as much as I wanted to shove it down, I failed to escape it all. After doing my morning routine, I head out of the bathroom and walk down the stairs. Each step feels like I’m walking into judgment and not the folks’ kitchen. The smell of freshly brewed coffee fills my nostrils, and the rays of sunlight filter through every window in the house.
Everything is so quiet… so still.
When I round the kitchen, Mariana stands with her back turned towards me, near the stove. Wearing her usual two-piece button-down navy pajamas and bear slippers, Nixie got her for some special occasion. Alerted by my presence, she turns around to face me, with a cup of coffee in hand. “Sit,” she softly demands while offering the yellow mug in her hand, leaving me no room to refuse. I grab the mug, cupping it between my hands, letting the warmth of it seep into my bones. For a moment, we stand there in silence, staring at each other, wondering who will speak first. My heart lurches to my throat. I can feel its rhythm climb higher and higher. Right now, I’m not sure we’re mother and stepson. Or more like, the man who loves her daughter and a concerned mother.
Maybe we’re just people holding way too much…
“Go on, sit.”
I do as I’m told, tracking her movements before she joins me with a red mug between her hands. The smell of coffee and love thick in the air lingers between us like an unwanted cloud. “I’m sorry…” Before I can ask why, she lets out a small, shaky breath and continues. “I heard the screams,” she says softly, looking down at her coffee as if it could offer her any insight on how to help her with her daughter. “And all I wanted was to help her. I’ve never heard anything like that come out of my daughter. The fear I felt.”
I swallow hard before blowing the steam from my cup. Blinking away tears that are quickly gathering and taking a sip. The bitter taste of the coffee floods my taste buds. “When she was a little girl, I tried my best to shield her from the horror that would happen in our home. Selena will always comfort her. When we realized you guys were gone… I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. All I could think of was that I wasn't there to protect my little girl. Then hearing her…”
“It’s been like that since…” I stop myself from giving her more details than the ones she already knows. No reason to torture her with the things we went through—still going through. Mariana’s eyes soften, before filling to the brim with unshed tears. “I’m sorry about last night,” I whisper, trying to find the words to explain what I feel. What she needs and what we both want. “She needs me.” My jaw tightens at the memories that invade my mind. Mariana shakes her head before taking a slow sip of her coffee. “She doesn’t need you, Isaac. She trusts you. There’s a difference.” Her words hit with a revelation I didn’t quite notice. Trust feels like a weight on my chest and like wings on my back. Heavy. Precious.
“You love her?”
“Always have.”
“I had a feeling…” She sighs in resignation as if she waited for this moment long before now. “She loves you,” she adds, her voice breaking. “It’s been a long time coming. I saw it long ago, but I figured it was a childhood crush that would go away with time. At least that’s what she told me when I told her I would walk away from Nelson. But you know, Ronnie, I was so selfish. And last night only highlighted how selfish it was of us to force our relationship on you two…” She chuckles softly, before taking a much more serious demeanor. “I’m sorry for trying to remain blissfully blind while you two suffered in silence.”
Tears sting my eyes, but none fall. She shouldn’t be sorry. She gave me the chance to have a mother after losing mine. Because of her, I have a little sister that I adore more than anything. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. I should have let Ronnie go. Maybe none of this would have happened to her if I had just left with Lex that night and not been a selfish asshole. “I’m sorry. I know it’s wrong.”
Mariana leans forward, her hand reaching for mine and giving a gentle squeeze. A mother’s touch. Comforting and assuring. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. What happened to you two was wrong. The love that held you two together is what helped you two survive.”
I blink hard, trying to register her words. There are so many things I want to say, but the vision of my dad at the hospital comes to the forefront, drowning any hope of this being something they could easily accept. “Dad won’t accept it.”
Mariana smiles, it’s small and crooked, not quite reaching her eyes. “Your father loves you both too much to stay upset forever. He’ll come around. He just needs time to understand.” Truthfully, I didn’t care for their approval or anyone’s. Ronnie does, and it would mean everything to her… and with that, I don’t want to be selfish. They don’t have to understand our connection. I just want them to accept it. “Give him time,” she adds before sipping on her coffee.
My gaze moves towards the window, watching as a squirrel runs up a tree.Time. We all need the very thing that has robbed us of so many things. The word is like a bruise that throbs beneath the skin. If only she knew the truth I’m still carrying. If only she knew that time is the one thing not on my side. Ever.
“I know she’s pregnant.” She stops, her eyes darting to the windows. I steel myself for her next words, not disclosing that Ronnie already shared with me that she told her mother. I hold my breath for what feels like an eternity, my mouth running dry despite the coffee I’m ingesting. “Yours…”
I choke up. The way she says it feels like a wish. The same one that Ronnie wished for when we were back in that sordid place, with the smallest, “Yes,” escaping my mouth. She exhales a long breath. “I figured,” she mutters, but feeling more like‘I was hoping.’
“Whatever happens,” Mariana continues, this time her gaze is locked with mine, reflecting all that motherly love back. “Just know, you’re not alone. Neither of you. Not in this house.” She takes my hand, giving me a gentle but firm squeeze. “Not in this world.” I nod and give her a small, reassuring grin.
