I ain’t going to take up too much more of your time, baby. Just wanted to put something heavy on you before you met me at the altar. I remember when you went back to work after all that shit happened at the job with your crazy ass student. The day you went back, I sent you a long message, telling you how brave you were, and reminding you that you were going to be fine. I could sense how nervous and uneasy you were about going back to work. Later that evening, when you came home, you told me that my message to you gave you the boost that you needed. I remember you looked me in my eyes and told me that I have the power to calm your nervous system. I’ll never forget you telling me that. That’s why I wrote you this letter. I wanted to give you a boost, relax your nervous system, and remind you that I’ll forever be in your corner. I love you, baby.
I sat here, head tiled back, literally fighting back tears after reading a handwritten letter from my man. This was the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever read in my life. As an author, who loved to write about romance, and I loved to write romantic poems, this letter had done something to me.
I remember Steel telling me months ago that he didn’t see how I could write the kind of long novels that I did. I remember him saying how his fingers would hurt if he even thought about writing out a paragraph. Love had him pouring out his feelings, writing them down for me, and I couldn’t be happier. This was the boost that I needed. The calm to my nervous system that I needed.
With my emotions all over the place, trying to fight back these happy tears, I sat the letter down on the table, and I stood up.
It was showtime. I was about to get married.
Chapter 15
Zion ‘Steel’ Perkins
MARRIED MAN
Istood up front at this beautiful altar, with my hands in front of me, clasped together, legs spread apart just a little bit, on edge, thirsty as hell for Toni to start walking down the aisle. I was up here with the officiant, my groomsmen were standing boldly by my side, and Toni’s bridal party walked in about five minutes ago. All the women looked breathtakingly beautiful, and the smiles that each of them had on their faces, as they made their way down the aisle, it was genuine smiles that they were holding. You couldn’t fake that kind of shit. Each and every one of them were excited about their girl getting married.
I stood up front, looking at this beautiful venue. No lie, I was looking around, feeling like my money was well spent, and the vision that Toni gave to the wedding planner had come to life. She was probably going to be too deep into the moment when she walked in to fully appreciate it, but since I’ve made my entrance, all I could do was look around in awe of how everything turned out.
Where I was standing, I had the perfect view of everything. The aisle was long, lined with soft candlelight’s. There were rows of white chairs, filled on both sides with all our family and friends. With the careers that Toni and I had, and the popularity,we knew a lot of people. Might not have been people that we talked to everyday, but people that we still genuinely loved, so our guest list was crazy. With the time that I spent boxing, I met some amazing people along the way, and they were all in attendance, ready to witness this moment. Malia was even here. Malia was Sapphire’s mother, and my eyes landed on her in the crowd, and she was sitting there, with a smile on her face that was just as big as the one that had been there when I married her daughter.
Ivory wasn’t here. Ivory was going through a lot of shit mentally. That nigga Nolan really put that girl in a fucked-up place, mentally. The last time that she came over to the house, she made it seem like she wanted to put her differences to the side with Toni, and have a conversation with her, but when I hit her up, telling her how I had to check Nolan about what he did to her eye, she no longer had the energy in wanting to meet Toni anymore. Truth be told, I felt like she was mad at me for calling that nigga and having her back. When she came to her senses though, and she finished battling whatever she was fighting through, Toni made it clear to me that she would be willing to sit down and have a conversation with her.
There was soft music playing, and within seconds, my handsome boy made his way out. Zayne was dressed in a tux like mine. He confidently walked down the aisle, holding a small black, velvet pillow in his hands, that held the rings. We’ve done so much practicing with his walk for weeks, making sure that he kept a steady pace, but also making sure that he was cocky with that shit, showing off how nice his tux was.
You could hear everyone in the crowd cooing over how handsome my boy was. I took my eyes off him for a second, just to glance over at Malia, and she sat there with a tissue in her hands, dabbing at her eyes, looking at her grandson with much love in her eyes. Zayne made his way to the front, and Khari, whowas my best man, went over to Zayne, took the small pillow from his hands, dapped him up, and Khari took his place behind me. Zayne walked my way, where we did our secret handshake, and he got behind me, standing with the groomsmen, looking like a big boy, and doing all the things that we’d been practicing with him.
“She’s coming! She’s coming! The bride is coming!” Marcellus ran out, yelling out what we had been practicing with him earlier, back in our suite.
Montana was on him, telling him to be loud, and confident, when he ran out, letting us know that Toni was coming. We decided to go the non- traditional way with this. Usually, little girls would be the one to make this announcement, but Toni wanted to give this job to Marcellus, and he was only a few seconds in, but he was killing it.
I knew he would kill it because his little ass wasn’t shy. At just four years old, he had confidence out of this world. He was rocking a black suit, with his long hair styled in straight back braids, and he was fly just like the rest of the men here.
“Did you hear what I said? I said that the bride is coming. She looks so beautiful too!” nobody told his little ass to say the last part, and when he said it, the room erupted in laughter.
Hearing the excitement in his voice, that shit made a nigga a little emotional. If it made me emotional, I could only imagine what it did to his parents. I looked behind me at Montana, and with a smile on his face, he was using a tissue to wipe his eyes. Just a non-verbal way of letting him know that he was a damn good father, and raising a damn good son, I nodded my head at him, and he nodded right back. I then looked over at Alecia, and of course, she was a flood of tears, watching her baby come out, and getting the attention of the entire crowd, making us all laugh.
“Stand up on your feet. She’s coming. She’s coming,” that was his last line, and with that, he ran over to us, getting right in line, like we’d practiced with him.
Marcellus was nothing but four, but he was a grown ass man because he stood there, got in formation like everyone else. The entire congregation stood up, anticipating Toni’s entrance. Within seconds, the beat dropped, and my tough ass got butterflies in my stomach because I knew this was the moment.
The second the beat dropped, it’s as if she appeared out of thin air. She would be walking down to Stevie Wonder —Ribbon in the sky. For the first 45 seconds of the beat playing, she stood there, looking like an angel. The woman of the hour, that we had all been looking for, and you could hear all the appreciating sound effects that everyone was making because of her appearance.
“Oh, so long before this night I prayed”.
When Stevie started singing, that’s when she began slowly walking, making her way to me. The song choice, the setting, my son standing behind me, Brooklyn as a junior bridesmaid, standing up front with the rest of the women, our daughter in the crowd, finally up from her nap, making all that noise, and then Toni making her way to me, it’s as if my mind went back to the first time. The first time that I saw her. All the shit that we endured together. The way she broke a nigga down. The way she made me spin for her, which was something that I swore I would never do again. All those moments, which led us here, caused tears to quickly fall from my eyes, and I stood her confidently, not wiping them away.
Watching her slowly walk down, it felt as if she was floating towards me. All I could think about was a conversation that her and I had not long after I proposed. I remember she had gotten a little emotional during the conversation, too.
There was no secret that Toni and Temperance didn’t have their father in their life. He was a dead-beat nigga that didn’t want to take care of his responsibilities as a man, so with that, Toni didn’t have a relationship with him. It wasn’t something that she would dwell over, either. Yes, just like most girls, she would have loved to have a consistent father in the picture, but she long gone accepted the fact that that wasn’t the cards that she was dealt.
After the proposal, I remember her asking me if I thought that she would look weird for not having her father there to walk her down the aisle. I allowed that thought to leave her mind just as quickly as it entered, telling her that she wouldn’t look weird. I told her that she would look like a goddess, and right here in this moment, that’s exactly what her ass looked like.
Now that she was close enough to me, I was able to see her face under the veil that she was wearing. There weren’t any tears that were dramatically falling yet, but her beautiful eyes were watery, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before they started running down.
I don’t know if I was more impressed with her dress, the finger waves in her hair, or the fact that her presence alone was powerful enough to stop all movement in this venue, and have everyone floored by how good she looked.
I took one step down the stairs, so that I could reach for her, and assist her in stepping up. The second my hand touched hers, I felt how cold her hand was, and she was shaking. Not being able to keep my lips to myself, I leaned in, kissing her on her exposed neck, and that was just my way of trying to subtly tell her to relax.
