I take a chance and push my luck. “What about you?”
She gives me a coy smile and bites her bottom lip. “Five hours is a long drive for breakfast.”
My heart thuds against my chest. Before I can think of anything to say, she wraps her arms around me and kisses me on the cheek. “It was good to see you, Jacob. Take care of yourself.”
"You too." I'm desperate to stop her, to say more, but I don't know what.
She stops with her hand on her car door. "My parents rented a condo for New Years weekend. We're going skiing." I stare at her, not sure if that's a statement or an invitation. "You'd have to share a room with Tyler, but if you want to come," she looks down, unsure, "I'm sure they wouldn't mind."
I stare at her for a long moment, trying to grasp what she just said. "You're inviting me to go skiing with you?"
"With my family, but yeah. I'll be there." Then she's talking fast, like she's embarrassed. "I understand if you're busy or if you can't get the time off. I just thought you might like to—"
"I'll be there."
fifty-seven
Remembering
December 2006
Does Jess always ski like this?” I watch her head down the hill as fast and reckless as she made the last two runs.
Tyler shakes his head. “You know Jess. She isn’t afraid, and she’s always been aggressive, but today she’s skiing like she has a death wish.”
I agree. Even though she invited me here, she’s shutting me out again. Her headphones are on, and she’s barely talking. She acts as if she’s alone, and she’s skiing like something’s chasing her.
“I wanted to go to the terrain park, but now I don’t think we should leave her. Someone has to be around to call the ski patrol when she breaks her neck,” Tyler says.
“You go ahead. I’ll stay with her,” I say. Maybe I can get her to open up if it's just us.
He hesitates only for a second. “Okay. I’ll head that way after this run.”
Jess doesn’t even look at me when we get on the ski lift. She leans back and closes her eyes. Mouthing the words to whatever song she’s listening to. I put my arm over the back of the ski lift. I wish I could put it around her shoulders, pull her close. Ask her what the deal is. Do something to help.
She’s barely paying attention when we reach the top of the mountain. Maybe that’s why when she stands up she steps on my board. She starts to wobble so I grab her around the waist and pull her against me. We’re skiing and boarding at the same time. We twist, lean in together, and make it just clear of the lift exit point before we fall. Jess ends up on my lap, her legs twisted around mine.
“Are you okay?” I’m trying to extricate her equipment and her body from mine.
Tyler’s kneeling in the snow, laughing hard.
“What’s so funny?” Jess demands.
“You two,” he gasps, holding his sides. “You couldn’t do that trick again if you tried.”
I look down at the mess of legs and equipment and start laughing too. Jess looks at me indignantly for a second and then laughs too. Now we’re laughing too hard to get untangled. Jess leans against my chest, laughing so hard she’s almost crying. “Ow,” she says between gasps, “this hurts.”
I reach down and pop one of her skis off. She falls. Now she's lying on top of me, her head on my chest. She’s still laughing too hard to move. I wrap my arms around her and pop off the other ski.
“Okay now?” I ask as she pulls away and tries to get up.
“Better,” she answers.
“Anything broken, bruised or crushed?”
She tests her arms and legs, like she’s not sure. “Just my pride. I don’t remember the last time I fell getting off the lift.”
“Me either,” I say.
