“What about medical school?” There’s an edge to her voice. She almost sounds like she doesn't believe him.
“There are still some things I need to do—prerequisites before I take the MCAT. I’m hoping I can finish them online. I can't get out of it. It was either that or–”
He doesn’t say it, but I get his meaning–Korea or Iraq. Most of us don’t get a choice.
“Come with me.” Another option most of us don’t have. “I could get you an apartment close to base. We could do the tourist thing on the days I'm off. You’ve always wanted to travel.”
She’s struggling with the words. “It’s too soon...school...so far from my family.”
“I think it would be good for you to get away from all the reminders. You can finish school when you get back. Or not. You won’t have to work unless you want to. I just want to take care of you, and I don’t want to be away from you that long.”
Her voice is laced with indecision. “I can’t. I don’t...”
Tell him you don’t love him.
He stops her. “You don’t have to make your decision now.” There’s fear in his voice, like he senses she was ready to reject him outright. “No pressure about the party or anything else. I’ll go back home. If you change your mind, you can come join me. Or I can stay here. Spend New Years with you.”
“I don’t want to take you away from your family. I know the party is a big deal for them.” Her voice is stronger.
Tell him you want him to leave.
Tyler interrupts my eavesdropping, turns on the radio, loud. I get the hint and turn back to the car. My mind is spinning. I didn't know that things had gotten this far between them. He wants to take her far away from home, from her family, and, more importantly, away from me.
forty
Blame
It’s too early. I’m sitting in my car feeling like an idiot. I debated this for a long time last night. I’m pretty sure Stephens left for whatever party he was talking about. This is my chance to talk to Jess alone.
Before I decide what to do, she comes out, dressed for running. Her hair in a ponytail, with a headband covering her ears. She starts off without noticing my car. I open the door and get out in front of her. She sees me, jumps back, and screams.
I reach my hand to steady her. “Are you okay?”
She laughs. “You scared me.”
“Sorry.” I grin at her. Her surprise is the closest thing to a normal reaction I’ve seen from her yet. “What are you doing up so early?”
She raises her eyebrows like that’s a stupid question considering what she’s wearing. “Going for a run.”
“Mind if I tag along?”
She surveys my outfit—a jacket, t-shirt, and a pair of jeans. At least I’m wearing tennis shoes. “In that?”
“Why not?” I’ve run in worse than this—combat boots, body armor, carrying a gun.
“I don’t want you to slow me down.” It almost sounds like she’s teasing me. She’s a lot more like herself without him around.
“I think I can keep up.”
“Your choice.” She adjusts her music. I’m not sure if she’s turning it down so we can talk, or up so we can’t.
It was worth coming, even if she’s still wearing her earbuds and won’t talk to me. Jess running is a beautiful thing. I stay to the side and a step behind her so I can watch her. Her running pants hit her about mid-calf. The striations in her long legs relax and tighten from her ankles to her butt. Her hair is caught up in a long ponytail that bobs up and down when she runs. It’s a crisp day, but she takes her jacket off less than a mile in, so her arms are bare. The muscles in her back ripple as she runs. I’m dying to reach out and touch her, but I don’t dare.
I must look like an idiot, running beside her in jeans. Somebody going by might think I’m chasing her. Actually, I am. She’s pretty fast, and I can tell she’s pushing herself. I’m having a hard time keeping up.
I’m not sure how far we go, how long we run in silence. She barely looks at me. We get all the way back to the house without talking. I’m not sure how to start a conversation, but I follow her to the door.
Finally, she takes her earbuds out. She looks surprised to see me. Like she didn’t realize I followed her the whole way. “You can stay for breakfast. I’m going to take a shower.”
