“Old Army buddy,” Michael says. “He’s a decent guy.”
Sylvia puts her hand to her temples. “You kids… I need a drink.”
Kelsey puts her arm around her mother and leads her back inside. “Don’t worry, Mom, three down, one to go.” She looks at Michael meaningfully.
“I’d better get going,” I say after Michael's family has gone inside.
He reaches for my hand. “You didn’t get the chance to see the gardens.”
“I don’t want to take you away from my family.”
He laughs. “Actually, I think that’s what they’re hoping for.”
I raise my eyebrows. “It’s dark.”
“They’re even prettier in the dark. Trust me.”
I'm in less of a hurry to leave than I should be. “Actually, a walk sounds nice. Once I get out of these shoes.” I slip off one high heel and rub my toes.
Michael directs me back into the country club. Most of the guests are gone or saying their goodbyes to Michael’s parents. I slip into a bathroom to change.
I change slowly, my thoughts swirling. I like Michael. I like his family. If things were different, maybe I could… I close my eyes and touch the diamonds on my ears. Things aren’t different.
I’m in love with Jacob.
An unbidden thought crosses my mind. What if I hadn’t gone back to say goodbye to Jacob? What if the second kiss in the barn had never happened? Would I be free to be with Michael, guilt not included?
I shake my head.
How can I wish away the sweetest memory of my life?
twenty-four
Deciding
Michael is right about the gardens and even about the dark. There are winding cobblestone paths branching in every direction, lit topiaries, and beds of gorgeous flowers glowing in moonlit beds. He shows me the place where he got in trouble when he was six for playing in the fountain and at eight for trying to swing on the long limbs of the willow tree.
"I honestly thought I was Tarzan," he says. "My mother was mortified. It was in the middle of my grandmother's seventieth birthday party and about a hundred guests."
"You had a very different childhood than I did." I'm thinking of the casual dining, cake and ice cream party we had to celebrate my grandmother's eightieth birthday the year before.
"Not that different, really," he says, taking my hand and pulling me to a rock structure he calledThe Tower.He puts his hand on the side of it and a shadow passes over his face. "This was Kaylee's favorite place.No one told us you weren't supposed to climb it."He looks so sad that I reach for his hand and squeeze it. He doesn't let go for the rest of our walk.
We walk for a long time. Long enough that it feels like we're the only ones left in the gardens. Long enough that it feels like we might be the only ones left in the world.
Finally he stops. We've reached the edge of the gardens, a few feet away from the parking lot. I'm driving back to my parents' house, and Michael is flying out tomorrow.
"Thanks for inviting me, Michael. You were right; this was fun. And this," I spread my arms out to indicate the garden, "is absolutely gorgeous."
He steps closer, his eyes locked with mine. "This is absolutely gorgeous."
He's so close I'm having a hard time breathing. I look down so I don't have to face the question I see in his eyes. "I should go," I say, but I can’t make myself move.
He brushes a lock of hair that's come loose from my up-do back from my face and then rests his hands on my shoulders. “It’s been a long day. You’re tired. Stay tonight. Stay here with me.”
My body stiffens, and I close my eyes against the familiar guilty ache in my chest. “I can’t.”
"Why not?" he asks.
