“You spelled demonstration wrong,” Adam said, sitting across from past me.
“Does this place look like a school to you? Do you want to hop on my dick or not?”
“You must not want a kuu mate with that attitude.”
“Look at me. Does it look like I’m desperate?” I was such a prick, but I sure knew how to play it cool. The truth was this entire interaction was a bluff. No one liked me, but I had to make myself look like I was out of reach. The bad boy act worked with the younger, less experienced guys, so Adam was my chance to try it out. “Come on. I can smell how turned on you are.” I grabbed his hand, placing it on my crotch. “I bet I’ve got a bigger dick than all the werewolves here.”
Adam huffed and pulled back his hand. “You’re gross.”
I knew I had to dial that back.
“Yeah, but I can get you off every day. Doesn’t that sound good?”
“How about thatdemonstrationin the back room?”
I stood and grabbed his hand, pulling him along to the back of the bar.
The scene disappeared, and all the depression came rushing back as the stained, bare walls of our old, tiny one-room apartment appeared. Adam sat on the couch, fidgeting with his kuu necklace while I watched TV. I wasn’t really watching anything, just staring while pushing back memories triggered by the smell of burnt food from the kitchen. This was the first time Adam had used the oven, and I was trying to hold it together while not giving myself away.
“Are you still mad? I forgot, okay,” Adam said, poking me in the arm. “I’ll just order something.”
My memories of this day were fuzzy, but I had a terrible feeling.
“Austin? Hey!” He shoved my shoulder, and in an instant, I had a hand wrapped around his neck, pushing him into the sofa. Seeing it secondhand made me want to throw up. I tried to grab past me by the arm, but as expected, I phased through.
Adam burned a roast, which was close to the smell of burning flesh I remembered during the weapons tests in the military.
“I’m on fire,” I screamed, squeezing Adam’s throat tighter.
“Please…” Adam squeaked out, and I jerked away, snapping out of the episode. Adam jumped off the sofa and ran to the corner of the room, trembling. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Don’t touch me when I don’t wanna be touched,” I growled out. Though I looked remorseful, I never apologized. It wasn’t Adam’s fault, but I blamed him anyway. I always needed someone to blame, and he was there.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to burn the food. Why are you treating me like this?”
“It’s not the food. I—” I ran my fingers through my mane before grabbing a fistful of fur. “The smell—don’t cook anymore if you’re gonna burn it!”
“I don’t wanna wear this anymore,” Adam said, pulling the chain around his neck, but the magic made it tighten until he let go. “I’m stuck with you, aren’t I?”
“Until you’re a werewolf, yeah.” Tears welled in Adam’s eyes, which broke my heart. Past me didn’t show any emotion at all. “Listen. If I start to go blank, stay away. And don’t burn food. I can’t handle the smell.”
“Are you gonna tell me what the hell is wrong with you?”
“Military fucked me up, okay? Did all kinds of things to me. You couldn’t even imagine the pain.” I looked up at a terrified Adam. “Don’t. Burn. Food.”
With that threat fresh in his head, Adam tore out of the house, leaving me alone as I turned back to the TV. These memories had always been so fuzzy, but now I could see myself for what I truly was. These weren’t just visions of the past. I was reliving all of Adam’s trauma, and I’d played a role in a lot of it.
“I don’t wanna see anymore,” I cried out, but everything continued as it did.
Past me flew back against the wall as Darryl sent another fist at my face, breaking my jaw with a snap.
“I didn’t knowyouwere the one he made the kuu with,” Darryl roared, pinning me to the floor. “You ever do that to him again, and I’ll hold your head underwater until you stop moving.”
I’d forgotten this. I was so out of my mind, I couldn’t remember the beating Darryl had given me that day. We were about the same size, but there was no contest in strength.
He looked over at Adam. “You should stay with me for a few weeks.”
“Wait—” I whined, holding my broken jaw, which would take an hour or so to completely heal.
