“Sounds serious,” Tay says, firing off a slap shot harder than normal. “You say the magic words yet? I figured wanting her after all this time, then finally having her, you’d have said I love you on the first date.”
My heart drops. Last night. The shower. Everything slams into my brain like a bad cross-check.Holy fucking shit.I’m 99.68% sure I said it last night. I was so overwhelmed with her being upset and me dealing with my own emotions, I think I blacked out.Fuck…did I say it?Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod.
My stomach twists.Shit, what do I do?Is she freaking out? Is she moving all of my stuff out of the apartment? Is she installing a lock she can actually work to keep me out? The only thing I know for sure is that I need to get to her. Right. Now.
“Guys, I gotta go.”
“Where the hell are you running off to?” Tay shouts after me, clearly annoyed I’m leaving them a man short for drills.
“I gotta go check on my woman!”
I hear EJ mutter something about how often I need to check in on a grown woman, Tay mumbling something in agreement, but I don’t care.
Make fun of me all you want. I need to make sure I didn’t royally fuck this up.
I stand in the elevator pressing the button for the tenth floor over and over again like it’s the delete key on my computer and I’m trying to erase what I just typed. There’s no deleting this. I swallow hard. Once you spit out a word, especiallythosewords, you can’t take them back.Did I say it? I think I did. Is this elevator smaller than usual?My lungs are heaving, trying to find a steady rhythm to breathe.Is there air flowing in here?I watch the numbers, four, five, six, seven…how fucking far is ten from seven?!
I burst into the hall when the doors finally open, sprinting to her apartment like a breakaway on empty ice. I hold the key fob to the lock on the door.
Nothing.
I try again.
Red light.
My hands shake as I try again and again. My guts twist and turn like there’s a goddamn tug of war going on in my stomach, my lungs still not figuring out how to fucking breathe like a normal human.Did she change the locks so I can’t get in?Fuck!
I pound on the door with every ounce of strength. “Kenni…it’s me. Please open up! Let’s talk! Did you change the locks? Oh my God, please answer!”
No answer.
I bang on the door again. “Kenni, are you home? Please, let’s talk!”
Nothing.
I drop my head against the door in defeat.Look what you did now, Boucher.The jiggle of the handle is the only warning before the door finally pops open, causing me to stumble inside until a pair of warm hands steady me.
“Jordan?!” Kennedy’s voice is filled with concern and worry, and everything I’ve ever needed. “You weren’t supposed to be back for another thirty minutes. What’s…” She scans me over as if I’m an injured puppy. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” I wrap myself around her, cradling the back of her head so fucking tight against my chest, my mind can’t convince me it’s not real. She hugs me in return, rubbing circles on my back. “This is quite the greeting, but…what’s the matter?”
“I thought…I thought…Shit.” I try, but fail, to keep my voice steady. “I realized what I said in the shower last night. I said it. Like…itit. I love you. Of course, I fucking love you, Kenni. But I was an idiot, and I said it too soon, and now I’m terrified that it freaked you out and you were going to run, and I had to get here as soon as I could, and then I got here and thought you changed the locks, and…oh my God, you smell good.”
She laughs, the sound melting the tension in my body, rocking us back and forth. “No, I did not change the locks. I’msurprised someone with your skills struggled to open it. Not as easy as it looks, huh?”
I laugh through my sniffles. “It wasone time,and I was panicking that you were going to shut me out forever. You’ve lived here for over ayear,and you still can’t open the damn thing!”
“Hey. Look at me.” She pulls her head back, her gaze finding mine as she cups my cheek. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, pretty-boy,” she says with a smile that tugs at my chest. She loops her arms around my neck and stretches up on her toes, her gaze steady as she presses her lips against mine. The heaviness lifts, my heart finally finding the steady rhythm I’ve only ever found in her arms. The way she calms me, commands me, chirps me…she’s everything.I honestly don’t think my heart could beat for anyone but her.I tighten my grip, worrying she’ll slip out of my reach. And then it hits me—the reason why I feel like I could still lose her. The heavy pull in my gut tugs me back, breaking our kiss.
She hasn’t said it back.
I swallow hard, my voice cracking when I talk. “So, you’re not going anywhere? And you’re not freaked out?”
“Do I look freaked out?” she asks, her gaze unwavering.
“No. But you…you didn’t…” My gaze drops. “You didn’t say it ba?—”
“Jordan,” she interrupts, gripping my chin and pulling my eyes back to hers. “Do you remember what I said last night?”
I sniffle. “That you were trapped in a glass case of emotion?”
