He had never anticipated that her absence would bother him so much.
“Oh, that’s rich, coming from you.” Rachel let out a humorless laugh. “I am even surprised that you are being so insistent as well. Am I the only woman who was free tonight, and there is no one else to keep you company?”
“You still have not let that go?” he asked, frustrated.
“Easy for you to say.” Rachel’s voice cracked slightly. And at that moment, Simon felt bad.
Perhapshe needed to behave differently. He had given her a reason to be upset. He rubbed the side of his face.
“Give me a moment,” he said to her, eyes closed.
“So that you can evade another question?” she replied, “Because frankly, I am quite sick of it and do not wish to have my night ruined further?—”
He grabbed her by the wrist just as she tried to leave, pulling her back into him.
“Stay,” it was more of a request than a command. His grip was loose enough that if Rachel wanted, she could easily break free of it, but she did not.
“Thank you,” he replied after a moment. “You need to understand that I have not dealt with a woman with whom I have to live and cater for before.”
Rachel shot him a confused look.
“What are you trying to imply?” she asked, though her tone was coming out much softer now.
“I am trying to imply that you need to be patient with me,” he sighed. “I did not grow up with sisters, nor did I have a partner before you. I do not know what the right answer is when a woman confronts me for having a mistress I don’t have.”
He had hoped that Rachel would find some solace in his words, but instead, she just seemed to grow even angrier.“So that was your solution? To say nothing at all? To let me believe—” She cut herself off, exhaling sharply. “Simon, do you even hear yourself?”
“Rachel, what would you have had me say?” Simon ran a hand through his hair, exasperated.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she snapped. “How about‘I do not have a mistress’? That would have sufficed.”
“Fair point,” he winced.
“Fair point,” she repeated, shaking her head. “Even now,thatis all that you have to say to me. Do you even hear yourself?”
“I am not used to… explaining myself.”
“Yes, I gathered that much. You prefer silence. Vanishing acts. Letting me fill in the blanks with my own worst thoughts.” She swallowed. “Do you have any idea what that did to me?”
Simon hesitated, his throat tightening. He had seen her hurt before, but this felt different. She wasn’t just angry—she was devastated.
“Let me apologize,” he said finally. They were not words that he was used to saying out loud. “I did not mean to hurt you.”
“And yet, you keep doing it,” Rachel continued. “One would wonder how that works.”
“Rachel, I swear to you—there is no one else. There has never been anyone else,” he admitted finally. It was something that he should have clarified for her a long time ago—but he could not help himself.
At his words, Rachel went very still and then simply looked at him. Simon took it as his cue to continue.
At least she is not storming off.
“If I have been distant, it is not because of another woman. It is because… of my own personal matters.”
“Which you refuse to tell me about,” she snapped. “This is what I mean by evading. You mention something and then give me no other details. And I am left to draw my own conclusions. It is maddening.”
“I am looking for something,” Simon said finally. “For your own sake, I cannot let you be privy to the details. The last thing I want is for you to be caught up in it.”
“Whynot?”
