I did nothing wrong, she realized.I fell in love. It could happen to anyone. It’s nothing to feel ashamed of, even though Norman doesn’t return my feelings. I’ll finish explaining it to him, and then the two of us will part ways and move on. If he thinks me a fool, that’s all right. I know that I’m not one.
“I didn’t mean to test you,” she said. “But when I was leaving, I realized that you did have one last chance to win me over. Had you tried to persuade me to stay…”
“You would have stayed,” he said hoarsely. “You would have stayed with me if I had asked you to.”
“I think I would,” she agreed quietly. “I think that would have showed me that I was wrong to believe there was no love between us, that you did care about me. There were things youmight have said that would have persuaded me that day. I was frightened you would tell me Ihadto stay, so I was firm about the fact that I couldn’t be forced. But had you tried to convince me, I would have been convinced.”
He hung his head. “I did everything all wrong.”
“No, you didn’t.” She squeezed his hand. In spite of the pain in her heart, she wanted to be kind to him. She wanted things to end well between the two of them. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Norman. You kept to the terms that you and I agreed on, and there isn’t anything wrong with that. There is no fault in not loving me. I’m sorry that I violated those terms and allowed myself to fall in love. I know that I ruined things for us when I did that. But the best thing now is for us to wish one another well and go our separate ways. I’m grateful to you for coming when you heard I was unwell. But I’m all right. My sisters will help me. You have no responsibility to me.”
“And what if I want to have a responsibility?” he asked.
She tried to pull her hand away.
He clung to it. “What if I want to have done everything wrong? What if I want to sit here and tell you that all my choices were nothing but mistakes, and that if I could, I would take it all back?” He wiped a hand across his face. “What if I told you that Idoreturnyour feelings, Susan, and that if I had only been a bit smarter that day, I would have been down on my knees begging you to stay with me?”
“Don’t say that,” she breathed. The words had hit her like a brick. “You don’t mean that. Don’t say things to me that you don’t mean. I can’t bear it.”
“I do mean it,” he said. “I thought you knew, Susan. I never dreamed you had heard me and Aunt Tabitha talking. If I’d known that, I would have reassured you at once—I was dishonest with her. I thought you would know after the kiss that my feelings for you had changed. But you avoided me so much that I was sure youdidknow. I thought you were staying away from me because you were angry that I had allowed myself to develop feelings when you had made it so clear you didn’t want that to happen. And then you left, and I thought…”
“You thought I left because of your feelings forme?” She trembled. This couldn’t be true. It was too much.
“I never dreamed you had heard the things I said to my aunt,” he said. He moved closer to her. “If I had known that, I would have set things straight at once. I said those things to silence her, Susan. To end the conversation. I didn’t want to explain the way I felt to her. Not when I was so sure you wouldn’t accept it. I thought I had to get over it quietly, on my own. If I had known any of this…” He shook his head. “Everything would have been so different.”
She couldn’t help herself. She began to sit up again.
His hand came to rest on her shoulder. “You’re not supposed to get up,” he reminded her.
“I have to. Please. Help me.”
He bit his lip and nodded. Reaching behind her, he arranged the pillows. He took her by her elbows and eased her into an upright position.
Her head swam slightly. She closed her eyes.
“Are you all right?” Norman asked urgently.
“I’m fine.” She opened her eyes again and found that the room around her had steadied. “Norman… I don’t know what to say to all this. It’s too much. It’s so much more than I ever expected. I told myself I would confide all these things in you because I needed to say them in order to move on from what we had. I had no expectations that you would ever return my feelings.”
“But I do. I will,” he whispered. “For the rest of our lives, Susan, if you’ll let me. I know you didn’t want to find love. Neither one of us did. But love seems to have found us, in spite of what we wanted, and I’m not going to turn my back on this. I’m not going to turn my back on you.”
He took a deep breath. “If you want that annulment, I will see that it happens. I will honor your wishes. I’ll give you anything you want. But you need to know that it’s the last thing in the world I want. I want you to be my wife, to come home with me and to continue our adventure together.”
She couldn’t think of anything to say.
Nothing really needed to be said.
Instead, she simply leaned forward into his embrace.
EPILOGUE
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Norman asked Susan.
She laughed. “The guests will be arriving at any moment, and you ask me this now?”
“It’s only a few days since you were ill,” he told her.
“But I’m doing fine now,” she reassured him. “You know that. I’ve had lots of sleep and plenty of good meals. I feel stronger than ever. And I’m very excited to have my sisters over tonight, as well as your aunt and cousin.”
