But even so… “I doubt anyone will question the way we feel about one another after this,” she said, her hand coming to rest against his. The warmth and pressure of his palm made her heart skip a beat. “Seeing us dance together like this… people will understand that our marriage is real. We’ll have made our point.”
“I wish you’d worry a little less about that,” Norman said.
But hadn’t he been the one who had turned the conversation in the direction of this specific concern? She thought back to those moments in the carriage. Yes, it had definitely been he who had brought it up. She’d agreed with him about the need to think of the way they were being perceived. After all, that was the whole reason to attend a ball.
Rather, she had assumed that would be his whole reason. For her, it was simpler. She had known she would have fun here tonight. She had imagined wearing a beautiful dress and dancing in her husband’s arms, and that had been a wonderfully appealing picture.
And now it’s happening, and he’s telling me to stop worrying about what people think and to just enjoy it.
“I can do that,” she said softly, looking up at him.
She was startled by what she saw there.
He was gazing down at her with more softness in his eyes than she had ever seen from him. It reminded her of something. Where had she seen that look before?
The steps of the dance took her away from him, and she turned her back to him briefly. When they returned to one another, the expression she had seen on his face had faded. It had been replaced by the detached look she was used to, and the pounding of her heart returned nearer to normal.
But she knew what she had seen. And now, in its absence, she realized where she had seen it before.
That was the look on Gilbert’s face when he looked at Marina.
It was a look of deep affection.
The realization nearly froze her where she stood.
There had to be a mistake.
He didn’t feel that way about her. The way Gilbert felt about Marina… he couldn’t.
The idea actually brought some relief. Of course, he couldn’t feelthatstrongly.
But that look on his face… she couldn’t quite make sense of it. Therewassome fondness there. He had some sort of feeling for her.
Maybe he really did notice what wine I like to drink. Maybe he noticed it, not because he was making plans to use the information, but simply… because he noticed.
Maybe he notices me.
Something in the core of her being tightened at the thought of it.
This was an arrangement based on convenience. Based on what was mutually advantageous. It was never supposed to be anything more than that.
But she would be lying if she said she hadn’t begun to grow fond of this strange man she had married.
Was it possible—on any level, in any way—that he felt the same?
He turned away from her. “I have to go,” he said. “Thank you for the dance—for the dances. There are people I need to see, people I need to speak to, while we’re here.”
“Go,” she said quietly, releasing him. “I’m all right.”
But she wasn’t. Not really. She was shaken to her very core.
On some level—some level I don’t even understand… could he possibly care for me?
CHAPTER 24
Left alone for the moment, Susan wandered over to the side of the room.
The wine was circulating again, and she accepted a second glass of white. This one, she only sipped at as she surveyed the room, looking for her sister. She wanted to talk to someone about everything that had just happened, and while she wasn’t confident Marina would understand all the nuanced layers of her feelings about Norman, she did trust that Marina would listen to her and would keep everything she said in confidence.
