She bit her lip. “I—of course. I’m sorry. Things do feel different now. But you’re right. It makes more sense than ever to use one another’s proper names.”
“What is it that’s troubling you?” he asked her.
“It’s not troubling me, exactly, but… I know that things aren’t going to be exactly as you described them the day you and I played chess together.”
He frowned. “I don’t understand. I meant everything I said to you that day.”
“Yes, I’m sure you did. But we married for the sake of your reputation,” she said. “And in order for a marriage to benefit a gentleman’s reputation… well, there have to be children. And you’ll want an heir, of course, considering that you’ve only just inherited this title and will want to make sure it’s secure in your family’s line.”
He blinked. This was what she was thinking about? He never would have guessed she would be the first to broach the subject.
But perhaps he should have. After all, she had never been what he had expected from a young lady. She had never been quiet or contrite—she always made her will known. She had even summoned him to a park to propose marriage!
But in this, she was mistaken. “I’m not going to need an heir,” he told her.
She frowned. “Norman… I wonder if you’ve really thought about that. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but youarenew to this title. You weren’t raised knowing the expectations that come along with it, so you may not realize just how seriously people take these things. It isn’t just your business ventures that are going to be affected. You have to protect your social standing as well, and you have to protect your ownership of Heathmare. If you don’t, you’ll find it slipping through your fingers.”
“That’s not a matter for you to concern yourself with,” he told her firmly. “That’s for me to sort out.”
She pressed her lips together. “I’m just trying to tell you that… that I would be willing. That I understand the responsibility I have as your Duchess, and that I’m prepared to live up to it.”
“I understand what you’re offering.” For a moment, he found himself considering her offer. Shewasbeautiful, and wouldn’t it be nice to take comfort in her arms—in her bed? There was no real reason to refuse. She was his wife, and it was a privilege he was entitled to.
But she doesn’t really want that. She’s offering because she thinks she has to. I don’t even have to guess at the truth of her motivations—she’s saying it outright. She wants me to consider this because she thinks it’s something we have to do to protect our reputations.
To marry for the sake of their reputations was one thing, but… no. He couldn’t go that far. And besides, even if he could bring himself to accept her offer and enjoy the comfort of her body, he didn’t want a child. Thetoncould make a lot of demands of him if he was going to belong, and he knew it. But he wouldn’t give in to a demand of that nature.
It was only when he looked back at her and saw that her eyes were wide and her cheeks pale that he realized he’d snapped at her.
I understand what you’re offering.It had sounded like a reprimand. And in a way, ithadbeen one, though certainly not directed at Susan. She wasn’t the one he harbored resentment toward. He was angry at society for forcing him—forcing both of them—into this position. He wasn’t angry at Susan. She was just trying to make the best of things.
With a sigh, he turned away from her. He didn’t trust his own ability to be kind and gracious right now. It would be best to take some time apart.
“Mrs. Hastings,” he said. “Show the Duchess to her rooms, please. Ensure that she and her maid have everything they require.”
Mrs. Hastings stepped forward. “Yes, Your Grace,” she said. She turned to Susan. “Your Grace, if you’ll follow me, your things have already been taken up.”
Susan lingered for a moment, looking at Norman. Then she turned and allowed herself to be led away.
Norman sighed. A part of him truly wished that he could have been the one to help her settle in. But his thoughts were all over the place. He didn’t think he could manage to be polite and courteous at the moment.
A part of him was filled with resentment that he had been pushed into this situation. That he couldn’t be trusted on his own merits, as a man, without consideration for who he was married to. And the idea that society might expect an heir from him just made the whole thing worse.
But even as he thought that, another thought rose to the surface of his mind.
If I have to go through all this—she’s not a bad person to have at my side.
CHAPTER 18
“Thank you for allowing us to come to Marina’s wedding,” Susan said softly. The ceremony had just ended, and the two of them stood at the back of the church, watching as Marina and Gilbert clung to one another in newlywed bliss.
Norman looked at his wife. “Did you think I would refuse?”
“I don’t know,” she confessed. “It’s supposed to be our honeymoon, after all. I thought you might not want us to be seen out in public like this."
Norman pressed his lips together. Yes, it was their honeymoon. Yes, people would probably have opinions about the fact that the two of them were out of the house during a time when they were supposed to be doing nothing but indulging in one another.
But people were going to have opinions no matter what they did. That was the way London society worked. There was no way to avoid gossip entirely. You simply had to make the best of it.
