“It’s not as if we were having a honeymoon,” he pointed out. “We’ve barely seen one another since you came to live at Heathmare.”
She raised her eyebrows. “That’s hardly my fault.”
“No, it isn’t.” He hadn’t meant to start an argument. He had simply been calling attention to a fact. But this always seemed to happen with Susan. It was simply impossible to control whether or not they slipped into anger with one another. He cleared his throat and tried to steer things back on course. “All I’m saying is that I’m more than happy for us to be at your sister’s wedding. I know how important this is to you.”
Susan looked like she might try to argue again—her jaw clenched, and she opened her mouth to speak. But she must have realized quickly that he hadn’t actually said anything she disagreed with. Her expression shifted to one of confusion.
“That’s right,” she said, looking down.
“I’m not your enemy,” he told her. “We got into this for the same reasons, remember. We wanted to take care of our reputations. And for you, your sister was a vital part of that. I know that about you, Susan, and believe it or not, I do care. Besides, she’s my sister now too.”
“You hardly know her,” Susan objected.
“But if there’s anyone who’s used to their life changing rapidly, it’s me,” he pointed out, thinking of the way he had been forced into his new life as Duke of Heathmare. Gaining a new sister was nothing at all after that. And besides, he liked Marina. She was so eager and enthusiastic. He didn’t especially care for weddings, but if there had ever been someone made for them, it would be Marina. Just the sight of the smile on her face as she looked up at her new husband was enough to tell him that. Unlike Susan, she was eager for this day. She wanted to be married to the man standing up there with her.
Norman was happy for her.
The church emptied out slowly. Susan and Norman were two of the last to leave. He expected that they were waiting for Marina, that Susan would want to greet her sister and share her happiness about the wedding.
But just as Marina and Gilbert began to walk toward the rear of the church, Susan turned away from them and toward Norman.
“We should go,” she said.
“We should?” He raised his eyebrows.
“We have to get to the wedding breakfast,” she said. “You know Father will call attention to it if we’re late, and I’d like to getthrough this day without any unnecessary attention on the two of us, if that’s possible.”
Norman could agree with that. “All right,” he said. “We’ll see your sister back at your father’s house, then.”
Susan nodded, and they retreated from the building and made their way out to the waiting carriage.
Once inside, Norman leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. He found himself surprisingly eager to spend this time with Susan. But maybe that wasn’t such a shock. She had always been entertaining and engaging, always good to talk to. If marriage had been simply a game of choosing the best conversation partner, he would have been fairly pleased with his choice.
“Your sister looked very happy today,” he said.
“She did,” Susan said slowly, but she looked doubtful.
“Is something wrong?” Norman asked her.
Susan shook her head and gazed out the window, saying nothing more.
“I mean,” Norman pressed, “it seems to me that she really likes that young man. I’m not the world’s biggest advocate of marriage, as you well know, but I do think she’s happy to be withhim. If there is such a thing as a good marriage, I would believe that was one of them.”
“I don’t know,” Susan murmured, still gazing out the window. “I hope you’re right.”
She doesn’t know? She hopes I’m right?
That was surprising. Susan had put so much time and energy into making sure that her sister would be able to marry this man. She had really seemed to want it. It was the driving force behind her own decision to get married, as far as Norman was aware. And now she was unsure about it?
He didn’t try to press her on the subject. He looked out the opposite window instead, allowing himself to be lulled by the sight of the countryside rolling by.
Susan had always been so strange about the subject of marriage. Insisting one day that she would never marry, despite the obvious cost to her reputation, and then summoning him to a park right on the heels of that to propose marriage. Now, the way she had gone through all of this to try to provide for her sister’s marriage, and was now acting as if that marriage wasn’t a good thing… well, he should have expected that. He should have anticipated that her inconsistency about the idea of marriage would continue. Of course it would.
I just don’t understand why she’s like this. I never especially wanted to marry, but at least I’m capable of explaining why I’m changing my mind about that. I’ve been clear and consistent.What I want is to show the people of London society that I am one of them.
And I thought that what she wanted was to see her sister married to this man. But now I’m no longer sure. I can’t be certain she’s happy with the way this has all turned out.
It was difficult to say why that uncertainty ate at him, but it did.
