“I know. Believe me, I know.”
She did not wait to explain herself, instead going directly to her room. She sat there and waited for everything to quieten, but it did not. Everything hurt, and that was without her having trulyrealized what had happened. Everything had been so quick that she had not had a moment to consider just what it meant.
“Cassandra,” her mother said from the other side of her door. “Please let me enter.”
“I do not need to you to tell me of my failings,” she groaned.
“I do not plan to,” she replied as she entered regardless. “Cassandra, I could tell by the look on your face that you have not done anything to warrant what has happened. A mother always knows these things. Now, what has happened?”
“I do not know. I was ready to leave, but then the Duke told me that we need to postpone it all.”
“I see. Well, that is not as terrible as it could have been. You will still marry, but at another time.”
“No, Mother, you do not understand. I do not want to marry him anymore. After everything that we have been through together, after all of the changes I thought I had seen in him, he does not care. He would not even tell me what changed, so how will I possibly know that it has been resolved? I do not want that life for myself. I will not have it.”
Her mother sat on the edge of her bed, and patted the space next to her. Cassandra did not want to sit, content to pace her floor instead, but she knew better than to argue. With a sigh,she took a seat and instinctively rested her head on her mother’s shoulder.
“You may marry me off to whoever you choose,” she said flatly. “It is clear to me now that I am incapable of making my own decisions. It is for the best that it is made for me.”
“You do not mean that.”
“I most certainly do! I do not want to embarrass you all more than I already have. When word spreads that I was rejected, I shall be ruined, so you ought to find a man for me quickly.”
And she did not mean it, but she had to say it. There was no changing what she had said to The Duke, and if he had any sense then he would never speak to her again. For her own sake, she did not want to see him. She did not know that she could handle it.
“If you wish for a husband,” her mother said softly, “then I can make an arrangement. However, I can see that you do not want me to do that. I do not want to force you to do something that you do not want to do when what you want is far better than what I could give you. You want the Duke, dearest.”
“And I cannot have him. I cannot afford for him to tell me he wants me one moment and that he does not the next. I deserve more, Mother, and I will not settle simply because I do not think there is anything else for me.”
“If you insist,” she sighed. “But I will give you until tomorrow. You are speaking in anger now, and I will not have that affect your life. If you sleep, and in the morning you still want to be rid of him for good, then I will do what is necessary to find another suitor for you. Lord Lashton, perhaps?”
She shuddered at the thought, paralyzed by the prospect, but she knew he would not turn her away. He had always wanted her, regardless of her reputation, and though she truly reviled him, he would at least be someone that would take her as his wife.
It was the last thing that she wanted, but in telling the Duke that she did not want him she had not given herself much choice.
She did not sleep at all that night, and when morning came she wished it had not. There was nothing for her to look forward to, and nothing to make her pleased about where she was. Even so, she knew that she would have to face her family eventually, and that would only be worse the longer she waited. She traipsed down to the dining room, only to be startled by a familiar voice in her drawing room.
She crept toward it, and saw none other than Lady Sylvia standing there. Cassandra gasped, which alerted them all to her presence.
“Lady Cassandra,” Lady Sylvia greeted, “I was hoping that we might talk.”
“I do not have anything to say to you.”
“That is fair, but I have much to say to you. All that I ask is you listen, and if after that you want me to leave, I will.”
Cassandra did not want to see Lady Sylvia, and she certainly did not want to speak with her, but she had nothing to lose. She would at least have closure, and that was something to help her.
“Very well. You have ten minutes.”
“That is all that I need. Thank you, Lady Cassandra.”
And so, though she did not trust the girl, she led her to the parlor room. She did not know what the girl wished to say, but she hoped it would not take long. She had to rest eventually, even if she did not think it would be possible.
“What is it?” she asked once they were alone.
“I have a proposition for you.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
