She called for him to enter.
Chapter Nineteen
“Ido not know that I can do this.”
Cassandra was grateful that her friend had come to visit her. She had not seen much of Philippa, and she had missed her presence. It was nice to have someone that had not known her for years, someone that did not assume that she knew what Cassandra wanted.
She felt incredibly selfish for even thinking it. She had the greatest friends in the world, but sometimes she simply wished that they did not know her so well. For once, she wished to not be known at all, and to be taken at face value when she expressed her desires.
Unfortunately, at face value, her desire was her husband to be, and she could no longer hide from it.
“You can do anything you please,” Philippa said gently. “You know that I think you are the single most powerful lady here, and you shall not be taken down so easily as this.”
“But it feels as though I already have been. Your grandmother has made her choice, and it is not me.”
“And you are not marrying my grandmother, so all is well. You told her yourself that she cannot control what my brother does, and I have always known that he holds a candle for you. It may not sound like it is enough at this moment, but it is. As long as it is what you want, of course.”
“Would I be stupid if I said it is?”
“Of course not! Why would you ever be considered it? There is nothing foolish about love, Cassandra.”
“Because I made every effort to thwart the match. I did not want it, I was so certain of it, but then…”
“But then you had to admit that your pride was in the way?” Philippa offered.
Cassandra wanted to refute such a claim, but of course she could not. It was the truth; she had wanted to remain alone on principle, to prove that she could do it, but she had fallen victim to the very thing that she had sworn never to fall for.
“It is not a fatal flaw,” her friend chuckled. “There are worse things that one can have. Besides, I will not claim to understand quite what you see in my brother, but then I have known him all my life.”
“He is more loyal than anyone that I have ever known,” she explained without thinking. “Everything that he has ever done has been for you, and your grandmother, and now me. I do not know why he has done so, though I suspect it is out of duty, but he has, and thought there have been issues I have never once seen his loyalty waiver.”
“That is certainly how he has always been. He does not know any other way to be, I suppose. I value that trait greatly too. I think, when I take a husband, I shall want that to be his greatest quality.”
“I hope you find it. It is certainly rare.”
“It is, so when my brother eventually finds a way to fix all of this, I hope that you do not push him away. I would like for you to be my sister, Cassandra.”
And as she left the room, Cassandra knew that she wanted that too. She was a sweet lady, and one that had been underestimated just as she had been. If she were there, she could ensure that Philippa had a real chance at love, rather than one that made sense to thetonbut not to Philippa herself.
After a few moments, a knock came and she invited them in. It was the Duke himself, looking at her kindly and in a way that stirred her.
“Are you all right?” he asked, and in spite of herself it brought a laugh out of her.
“That is certainly a question to ask!”
“I know, but I wished to ask you all the same. You are looking brighter, at least.”
“I have had time to consider everything, that is all. Your grandmother is cruel when she wishes to be.”
“Dare I ask what she said to you?”
She considered it for a moment. She wondered if it was best to tell him that his grandmother had called her classless, and proclaimed that she would never accept her as her grandson’s wife, but it all felt pointless. The Dowager Duchess had never once hidden her feelings, so being detailed in her assertions would only serve to hurt further.
“It hardly matters now.”
“It does matter,” he said firmly, crossing the room so that he was standing before her. “It matters to me. I will not have you hurt.”
“Then you shall be glad to know that I am not hurt. Well, hardly, at least. To be entirely honest with you, she has not said anything that I have never heard before. The entiretonthinks the same of me, which is why I have never understood why you would dare make me your duchess.”
