I understood that feeling down to my bones. Colin had built those same walls in me. Cemented them in place with every careless word he'd ever said.
"I get it," I said softly. "My last relationship didn't end well either."
Something shifted in his expression and understanding flooded in, and then something that looked like relief came next.
"Yeah?"
I nodded, pulling my coat tighter against the chill. "He was my first everything. First boyfriend. First..." I trailed off, not quite able to finish that particular sentence. "And then he left me for my cousin. Told me I wasn't really his type. That I was sweet but not what he was looking for."
Kael's jaw tightened visibly and the muscle in his cheek jumped. "He's an idiot."
"Maybe," I said. "But it still hurt. Still makes me feel like I'm not enough sometimes."
We started walking again, slower this time. Our shoulders pressed together and neither of us moved away. The warmth of him seeped through my coat and I wanted to lean into it desperately.
"That's part of why I wanted to talk to you," Kael said quietly. "Because you are enough, Amara. You're more than enough. And I needed you to know that before..."
He stopped himself again.
"Before what?" I asked, looking up at him.
He was quiet for a long moment. We'd reached the bench overlooking the river and without a word we both moved toward it and sat. The water was dark and still below us, a thin rim of ice still clinging to the banks where the cold had held on longest. The February sky above was a deep, clear navy, scattered with stars that only showed up this bright in winter.
It was the kind of quiet that felt sacred.
"Before the gala," he finally said. "I know you're nervous about it. I know it's going to be hard seeing your cousin and your ex and everyone who's made you feel small. I just needed you to know that none of what they think about you is true."
I looked up at him, waiting.
"You're not nothing," he said, his voice dropping low. Rough in a way that skipped straight past my ears and landed somewhere in my chest. "You're everything. And anyone who can't see that is blind."
"Kael," I breathed.
"I mean it." He turned on the bench to face me fully and the look in his eyes made the whole cold night feel suddenly, impossibly warm. "No matter what happens at that gala. No matter what you see or hear or who says what. I need you to remember that you matter. That you are so worth being seen."
There was something else there. Hovering right behind his eyes. Something heavy and unspoken that he was holding back with what looked like tremendous effort.
Before I could ask, he shifted closer.
Not much but just enough that the warmth of him wrapped fully around me, and I could smell him properly now, that deep warm sugar and smoky vanilla that made something low in my stomach pull tight.
His eyes dropped to my mouth and just for a second…
Just long enough for me to notice, for my breath to catch, for every coherent thought I had to dissolve completely.
He was going to kiss me.
I was absolutely, completely certain he was going to kiss me.
I tilted my chin up without even deciding to. A purely instinctive, embarrassing, traitorous little movement that I would think about later at three in the morning with my pillow over my face.
Kael's breath came out slow and unsteady.
His hand lifted and my heart stopped entirely.
And then his lips pressed, warm and gentle and devastating, against my forehead.
Not my mouth.
