I was pulling on my peacoat when I heard the knock on the library doors. Faint but definite. Three sharp taps against the glass.
I poked my head out of my office doorway and my breath lodged itself in my throat, causing me to cough in surprise.
Kael.
He was standing outside in dark jeans and a heavy charcoal jacket, his hands shoved into his pockets. The February night had turned the tip of his nose pink and his short brown hair was slightly windswept from the cold. Even through the glass I could see the tension in his shoulders. The way his jaw was tight, something seemed to be wrong.
I hurried to the door and unlocked it, pulling it open. A rush of cold night air came in with him, carrying the faint scent of woodsmoke and something sweet underneath.
"Kael? What are you doing here?"
"Hey." His voice was rough, like he'd been arguing with himself the whole walk over. "I know you're closed. I just... can we talk?"
My stomach dropped. Those words never meant anything good. Can we talk was what Colin had said before he'd told me we were done. Can we talk was what my mother said before launching into another lecture about my life choices.
"Sure," I managed. "Come in."
He stepped inside and I locked the door behind him. The library felt different with him in it. Smaller somehow. More intimate. His scent, warm sugar and smoky vanilla, immediately filled the quiet space and wrapped around me like a second coat.
We stood there for a moment, neither of us quite knowing what to say.
"Do you want to sit?" I gestured toward the reading area where comfortable chairs were arranged around a low table.
"Actually," he said. "Would you mind if we walked? There's a park nearby. I just... I think better when I'm moving."
I nodded and grabbed my bag. A few minutes later we were walking along the path through Riverside Park that I sometimes took on my lunch breaks. The February night had settled cold and still around us. The bare branches of the trees lined the path overhead, and in the glow of the park lamps, I could just make out the tiny buds beginning to form on the ends of the branches. The first stubborn hints of spring refusing to wait any longer.
Our boots crunched softly over the frozen ground, and our breath came out in small white clouds that dissolved into the dark.
Kael walked beside me, close enough that our arms brushed with every few steps. He was so warm and even through both our coats I could feel the heat radiating off him, and my omegainstincts kept nudging me to close the remaining distance and tuck myself into his side.
I ignored them.
Mostly.
He seemed to be working up to something as if he were starting sentences in his head and abandoning them before they reached his mouth. His hands came out of his pockets and then went back in. He exhaled slowly through his nose.
Finally, I couldn't take the silence anymore.
"Kael, you're scaring me a little. What's going on?"
He stopped walking and turned to face me. The warm glow of a nearby park lamp caught in his hazel eyes, making the gold flecks burn like embers.
God,he was unfairly beautiful.
"I need to tell you something," he said. "But I'm not sure how to say it."
My heart was hammering now. This was it. He was going to tell me he'd been too forward. That calling me everything had been a mistake. That he'd realized I was just a customer and he'd been leading me on without meaning to.
"Okay," I whispered.
He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself. "I haven't... I haven't been in a relationship in a long time. Years, actually."
That was not what I'd expected him to say.
"Oh," I said softly.
"The last person I tried to be with..." He paused, his jaw working like he was choosing every word carefully. "It didn't end well. She wanted something I couldn't give her. Or maybe she wanted something I wasn't. I'm still not entirely sure. But it made me really careful about who I let in after that."
