Peter’s name stared at me. Taunting me.Open it. Read me.My stomach twisted into a pretzel, and not one of the big, soft ones. It was a tight, hard pretzel covered in salt. Why?
Oh, because Hayden was thirty minutes late. I tried texting him, and nada. Nothing. Tried calling too, because I was getting worried. Ten more minutes went by, when my phone buzzed.
Hayden:I’m so sorry I can’t come tonight. I promise I’ll explain soon.
Cool. Great. My secret boyfriend backed out of a date without an explanation the night after my interview. Thatwasn’t a good feeling. Neither was the fact that Chad saw me in the hall after school and smirked at me. He and his buddy strutted through the halls, whistling as they passed my classroom. Their rooms were located in another wing, so there was no reason they should be near me other than to taunt me. They oozed confidence, like they were privy to information I didn’t know. My stomachache began then and had only worsened.
Hayden and I had planned to do this together, and his absence hurt. I was alone in my apartment.
He’d explainsoon. What did that even mean? I analyzed every part of the text. No emoji. No hint at what was happening, but it had to be about Gwen. That was the only thing that made sense. Last night was special for me. Hayden taking care of me when I needed it… I had never felt so loved. I woke up with him surrounding me this morning. What happened within the last fourteen hours for that feeling to shift?
I wanted to respect his text. He wouldn’t do this unless something really did come up. I trusted him, but old insecurities snuck in. He changed his mind. He wanted to go back to being friends. He didn’t want to deal with telling Christian. I wasn’t a good fit with Gwen.
My eyes prickled. I had to trust him or we’d never work. Hell, two weeks ago, I never would’ve thought to have Hayden be with me when I found out if I got the job or not.
You can do this. Put your big-girl underwear on.
“Oof, this is anticlimactic. It’s a damn email!” I just had to click.
I clicked.
Subject: Re: the softball head coach position
Charlotte,
Thanks for interviewing for the Head Softball Coach position. Unfortunately, we didn’t choose you as our top candidate. Thank you for your consideration, and we hope there is another fit for you elsewhere.
Peter
No.
The sensation of falling increased and spiraled. An utter feeling of loss came at me from all sides. A sob escaped me as I breathed in deeply. I knew the chances were low, but after preparing so hard for it, I had started to believe I had a chance.
We didn’t choose you as our top candidate.
Heartbreaking. It was like someone ripped out a vital part of me and let it drag along the ground. I sniffed, and my nose clogged because the emotions were pouring out of me.
How could I go to work tomorrow? How could I face everyone and tell them I didn’t get it? An icy numbness spread through me. I had failed. I poured my heart into this and didn’t come out on top.
I crumpled into a ball and wished Hayden were here. He’d know what to do. He’d use his kind, stern voice and soothe me, guiding me on the next steps. He knew this could happen tonight and had left me alone. Why?
His absence felt like another form of betrayal. Despite his text, I felt I was owed more than that. Especially tonight, of all nights. He might have the best reason in the world, but practically ghosting me was not fine.
It was only 6:00 p.m., and Gwen wouldn’t be down yet, but still I heard nothing from him. Did I even send him a text?
Fuck. I needed someone. I didn’t want to be alone in my sad thoughts, and I did what I should’ve done the second I saw the email. I sent an SOS to our group text from the weekend trip. Hayden was on the thread, and he’d either see it, or not.
Charlotte:Hey, I didn’t get the job.
Penny:Oh, baby girl. I’m sorry. It’s their loss.
Christian:FUCK CHAD. Where does he live?
Garrett:Vodka or cookies?
Garrett:Or both?
Garrett:How sad are we talking? Like, get bangs and reinvent yourself sad or sob until you’re dry?
